Internet porn stats: should parents be concerned?
An infographic called “The Stats on Internet Pornography” offers up some surprising – and some expected – results. Should parents be keeping a closer eye on their children’s internet use, or is it inevitable: kids want to see porn just as much as adults do?
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A recent infographic published by OnlineMBA.com shows us some interesting statistics on internet pornography, such as:
- 40 million Americans regularly visit porn sites
- 70% of men between the ages of 18-24 visit porn sites in a typical month
- 1 in 3 porn viewers are women
- 1 in 4 search engine requests are porn related
- 20% of men admit to watching porn online at work
- Most popular day of the week for viewing porn is Sunday
Infographic shown below.
One of the pornography statistics listed on the infographic said that the average age at which a child first sees porn online is 11. Wow.
Now, you have to wonder why kids, on average, are experiencing their first online porn encounter at such a young age. Is it because parents aren’t monitoring their kids’ online activities close enough? Perhaps parents aren’t securing their computer well enough or setting the parental controls?
That would probably be your first assumption, right? However, if you look at a post I wrote a while ago about Symantec’s list called “Kids’ Top 100 Searches of 2009″, you would find that the fourth most popular search word for children 7 and under is “porn”, whilst the word “sex” comes in fourth for children between the ages of 8-18, with “porn” coming in not far behind.
Equipped with that information, do you still think kids are seeing internet porn at 11 due to slack parenting? One could argue that if a parent was monitoring their children close enough, the opportunity to search for porn wouldn’t be made available to them. But is that really a fair argument? Kids have an arsenal of portable devices these days which enable them to go online just about anywhere. That means that even if you monitor them closely at home by getting them to use child-friendly search engines and ensuring you’ve set up OpenDNS or other parental controls, you still might not be able to stop them when they’re at a friend’s house or somewhere where there’s public access to the internet (like the library!).
So, whether our children are viewing internet porn at 11 because they’re looking for it, or because they accidentally stumble upon it (or even a combination of the two!), is it something parents need to be more concerned about? Is a child who looks for porn on the internet really any worse than the 11-year-old kids from yesteryear who stole their old man’s nudie magazines and hid out in their tree fort looking at them through the dim beam of their flashlight?
Via: Online MBA
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I wish my 15 year old son had a good old fashioned Playboy to look at. Instead, he sought out porn sites on about 6 occasions. He became so guilt wracked that he came and talked to his dad and I about it. I obviously freaked. I decided to look at the msot recent history (I forbade him to delete his history so I could see what he saw). OMG. Porn based on bondage. Were the women in these videos paid actresses? Why did they have tear streaked faces? Bruises? Far away looks in their eyes. Video of men shoving hugh power driven dildos into the women…it was awful stuff. Someone at school told him to type in “hard core” porn. I guess regular porn is too tame. The computer is unplugged now. He was only ever using it to look at porn anyways. I know porn can also be easily accessed on ipods too. When I asked my son if other boys were also into looking at internet porn, he said out of about 20 kids, probably 15 of them do, and about 5 would be heavy viewers! He attends a religious school. So…is this a problem? Yes. The Playboys of yester year showed naked women in seductive poses, happy to show off what God gave them. The human body is beautiful. Internet porn is a dark sickening place (and I only spent 3-4 mintues looking at the icons to know what they were doing!) where it looks like anything goes. Acts that arn’t part of a loving normal relationship. Probably not even part of a typical one night stand. I spent much of the next day explaining to my son that what he saw was degrading to women. How it represents nothing close to what real sex is like. How viewing such hard core porn would probably set him up for sexual disfunction with girlfriends down the road. I never ever thought i’d be having such conversations with my son. You probably can’t imagine it too. Trust me…him knowing that I knew what he saw was very embarassing for him and me. My son is a good kid. But I never expected he would ever look further than a quick peek at a porn pop up. The parental controls are in place now. Maybe I was naieve to think my son wouldnt do that….but then I didnt realize just how brutal and graphic the porn is out there. So parents, time to inform yourselves, and start asking questions of your kids about what they have seen. It’s a real eye opener.
“How it represents nothing close to what real sex is like. How viewing such hard core porn would probably set him up for sexual disfunction with girlfriends down the road.”
OH please! You’ve done more harm to your son by telling him this than viewing pornography could ever do! Don’t traumatize the poor kid because he saw a bit of hardcore pornography.
“My son is a good kid. But I never expected he would ever look further than a quick peek at a porn pop up. ”
Your son probably IS a good kid. Looking at pornography does NOT make him a bad kid, it makes him NORMAL.
Sex and pornography are the most normal things in the world. An interest in sex for a 15 year old boy is completely healthy, you should be worried if he WASN’T interested in porn.
Don’t screw up your kid by making him feel guilty over his normal and healthy curiousity.
Even if he did view the most depraved kind of porn you can find, that won’t mess him up any more than watching the six o’clock news will. Your son is probably smart enough to understand that some people do really weird stuff, and that just because they do it doesn’t mean that he should. If you’ve brought him up well enough, he’ll be able to decide for himself if what he’s seeing is something he should be doing or not.
Just a couple of things here. Studies are showing that teens who regularly view harcore porn often have trouble sexually in the future becasue the normal little things like holding hands, a first kiss, etc are not exciting enough. When they finally do get to intercourse, it isnt nearly as exciting as what they watch online. Try typing in “porn addiction and teens” into the internet. Remember, you are viewing porn as an adult with sexual experience. You can put it into perspective. Secondly, I did not mean looking at porn mad my son “bad”. I wouldnt be nearly as upset if it was just regular porn. It’s this fetish, bondage, etc type of porn I find upsetting. This is a new phenoenom. When I was a teen (i’m 39) teens just couldnt view this easily. IF you could find such magazines in the store, you actually had to be there in person to buy it. How many young teens would have the nerve? So therefore this is a totally new era, and now available to young people that never was in the past. I dont think anyone can confidently say there is no effect to young minds, as of yet sexually inexperienced. To do so would be irresponsible. And I know it’s healthy to have a curiousioty about sex and porn. I’ve raised my sons to not be ashamed of sex and their bodies. I still feel har core porn is in another catagory, and it should not be viewd by teens. Of course it is the parents responsibility to know what their kids are viewing. Ultimately, my point is, that we thought we were doing everything correct…no closed door when computer is on, screen facing hallway, talking about what is and isnt appropriate to took at online. I told him we trusted him to make good decisions about the internet. Well, he didnt….so-now the controls are in place. I love the overused comment “it’s the parent duty, blah, blah, blah…..yeah, I agree…but that duty involves constant monitoring and in a real family that cant happen perfectly. This one slipped through the cracks and we delt with it. He wasnt made to feel perverted, or “bad”…dont assume because someone objects to hard core porn they are uptight about sex. What I saw didnt have to do with sex but with intimidation, fear and brutality.
Uh, he’s 15 and you won’t let him on the computer without the door closed? xD That’s not trust. He’s 15 years old. If he’s a good kid he won’t do anything bad, even looking at porn now and then. xD He’s old enough that you don’t need to know what he’s doing. xD But it’s all good I suppose.
I have to say, I’m pretty impressed with your attitude towards porn. Specifically, your views about the Playboy images, and looking into what the consequences of hardcore porn at an early age could be. There are just two things that I think you should think about about, and maybe even research, as you go forward:
1. Fetishes. Fetishes are normal. Obviously, however, having a hard-core bondage fetish at 15 probably isn’t normal, but I hope that you aren’t against fetishes in general. Considering your relaxed views concerning porn, however, I don’t think this is a problem for you, so onto my next point.
2. Privacy. Unfortunately, the teen years are when children start to be more independent and want more control over their lives. Therefore, having parents going into ‘hover-mode’ at this time in your son’s life is going to wreak havok with your relationship. Not only is he feeling awful about his revelation, but now you don’t trust him enough to give him any privacy. I wouldn’t be surprised if he became withdrawn from you, and started spending more time at friends’ houses instead of coming home. This is the time of life where he should be making mistakes and learning from them. So far, while he may have learned that hard-core porn isn’t good for him, he’s also likely learned never to talk to you about ‘sensitive’ issues again.
I would like to finish by saying that in terms of parenting, I think you are on the right track. You have just gotten quite a shock, so I’m not surprised at your knee-jerk reaction. But I really believe that you should think on my second point. I admit that I am not trained in psycholocy, however, so please feel free to do some more research, and maybe even consult an actual psychiatrist before deciding how to proceed. I hope you’ve found this helpful.
I read these comments because I feel the same way as your son. I told my mom about my experiance an was ashamed with myself. You had a very similar reaction to it with your son as my mom did with me but I never confided in her on topics like that again. Your lack trust with your son cause further harm to his mentality. Many of my schoolmates have admitted to veiwing porn and knowing that, your son might think less of your oppinion because of that.
I am a strait ‘A’ student and am in a healthy evenly paced relationship with my girlfriend. We haven’t hed a fight in the four months (thats a long time compaired to all of my friends) that we have been going out other than a small one about seeing eachother alittle more. I have taken up watching pornogrophy again and dont feel any negitive affects on my personal or social life. I have never once seen anything as hardcore as you have described in all of my time online.
I truly hope that this message will help you understand a his point of veiw more and allow you to be a better parent.
15-year-old boy
Dick,
Are you kidding me?!?! How long have you been looking at pornography? I have had a 16 year addiction to it and have been sober for about 4 months now, and all I can say is that I am glad the person I finally decided to talk to about it wasn’t someone who thought like you do. Pornography does do exactly what was mentioned, it sets your sexual expectations up for failure. As a parent don’t you think there is a responsibility to protect your kids from this perverse view of what sex is supposed to be about. Again your view sounds like it is coming from a person who regularly looks at pornography and does not want to face the fact that it rapes your mind.
Sean
hey dick i loved yuor speech you r so reasonable seriously thank you.
I agree with you wholeheartedly,Julie. Many of the replies only show what depraved minds are like. I am glad that you made your son aware of the dangers of porno and hopefully he will become a better person for it. There are so many people hooked, addicted to porn, like those who responded negatively to your comments. What a sad, sinful world we live in.
yes i agree with you that it is a depraved minds, the kid must stop watching but she should awares him of it’s danger and then let him choose when will he stop watching because as dick said what’s he doing is very very normal…
Kids are like little sponges, so they’ll look at anything on the web. Sure, a lot of it is horrible and scary, but there’s plenty of okay stuff out there too (obviously not referring to porn).
I really just want to say this to parents…if you want your kids to actually talk to you about things, you really have to watch how you react. If someone was shocked and disgusted with something you were looking at, would you talk to them about it in the future? Probably not.
Talk to your kids NOW about the dangers of porn (including how some treat both women and men horribly)…and that some porn sites give your computer viruses and malware.
Go over the stats and talk about why adults use these sites. The truth will set you both free.
hey I am 15 and i am struggling with porn btw I am a girl. I think i might be addicted. I tried to stop but i can’t. Its like a drug. In fact it is harder to quit than drug addictions. Thats why i need help, but I am really scared and ashamed. I want help! I want to tell my parents, but I am scared. Since you are a parent could u give me any advise how to tell them.
Hi Ari,
As a mom, if I was there right now I would give you a big hug and says “everything will be ok”. As you have read, it freaked me out when my son told me. Mostly because I didnt want him seeing the “hardcore” porn images. From then, until now, I have learned a lot. I’ve learned that it was normal for my son to be curious about any and all offered porn online. But, where I draw the line is I have told him we do not want him to be looking at hardcore porn, and the reasons why, many of which others have stated on this blog. Soft core, I can accept.
So…when it comes to telling your parents, choose the one to tell who you think will have the least shocked reaction. Trust me, although they will be a little freaked out, it is better to tell them if this is eating you up inside. They are your parents and they love you. I do not think any less of my son, and it has been a lesson in his growing up for me. After the initial shock wears off, they will probably be glad you told them and will give you any help you ask for. And I dont know what reaction your parents will have, you will know to some degree probably. When I say I freaked out, most of the freaking out was internal! My brain was racing trying to absorb it all. My outside was pretty calm, but im sure I was a little socked looking. I did not yell, cry, threaten, hit. If you are afraid your parents will be physically agressive about what you tell them, then I advise you not to tell them. I did look up some phone numbers you can call and talk to some one about all this. I am no expert. You may want to call before you tell them…the main thing is you do what you need to do to feel ok with this. Just remember what you have done is not a horrible thing, it is a normal thing, and you are a normal girl. I wish I knew how to help you better. I looked up some phone numbers you can call…Kids Help Phone 1-800-668-6868. It doesnt cost anything to call, and you can remain anonymous. Or go to http://www.kidshelpphone.ca also you can call free to Teen Support Line at 1-877-803-8336. I’m sure they can help you. I know this must be terribly embarassing and you feel ashamed. Dont feel ahamed, probably 75% of people have checked out porn at one point or another in their life, its a natural curiousity. But i’m sure its hard to tell your parents. Maybe start off saying…Mom (or dad) I need to tell you something i’ve seen online. And now I keep looking it up…i’m scared and worried….
Good luck Ari.
hey, thanks for the advice. I told my mom and she told me not to feel ashamed for how I felt and stuff. She is also going to get me some help. I just wanted to say thanks for everything because it really helped. :)
Hey ari, im not a parent, i am 17, and have the same problem. I would like to thank you for your example to me. you have given me the drive to seek out help from others for myself.
Julie,
A few months ago, my 11 year old daughter was doing research for a class project on horses and she misspelled the word “horse”. In a nut shell, my little girl spent about 2hours watching porn on the family computer, while I cooked dinner only a few feet away.
The truth is, I can’t blame her, the pop-ups, the links, the graphics, they are all designed to engage and entice…The viewer clicks one image, and it leads to another more graphic image, and another and another, and before you know it you know it you’re watching a full length porn movie.
The way I see it, millions of dollars are spent on marketing and advertising online porn, so really what kind of a chance did my 11 year old stand against that kind of an assult?
Looking back, I don’t think I could’ve done things much different. I simply did’nt know it was that easy to watch porn online, nor did I (much like you) ever imagine that hard-core porn was that violent. Infact, I couldn’t even bring myself to watch everything my daughter had watched.
Bottomline, the harm to my family has been done. Now, what I want to know is, how I can stop this from happening to somone else’s family? What’s being done to regulate/control these internet porn sites? Is there an agency that over-sees these websites?
Btw, I’m not talking about censorship, by all means if someone wants to waste their time watching that kind of garbage they can go right ahead. My point is simply that, in the very least it should be as hard to watch porn online as it is to watch a Disney Movie online.
Hi Triste,
Wow…that would be even more upsetting than what I went through. Good comment on the easy access, and the difficulty of watching a Disney movie. I never thought of it that way. There really should be some sort of way to prevent this from happening. You’ve given me something to think about….I may try to check that out. When our kids are watching tv, there is a warning come up about content, and even a rating system…14+ and the such. Would people accept it if suddenly porn came onto their tv when channel surfing? What if commercials and shows had sidebars with “teasers” for porn channels….I bet it wouldnt be long before an uproar occured from the public. But somehow the internet is regarded differently. Like you say, I dont go for censorship either, but it really is too easily accesible to children. I hope your daughter wasnt traumatized by what she saw. I hope you were able to talk to her about what she saw. I really dont know how I would handle that….do you talk about it once then ignore it, trying not to make a big deal of it, or do you keep dialogue open, and discuss freely? Maybe consult a professional if you have concerns. Thats a hard one…I hope everything works out for your family. As time passes she will probably remember it less and less. Luckily she has a family that cares for her so she is luckier than some kids i’m sure. Good Luck.
Dear Julie,
Thank you for your kind words.
I think you and I can agree that something needs to be done to protect children from unwanted and unlawful access to internet porn.
So, after posting my first comment, I did a little research and found that Rep. Bart Stupak has introduced a bill (HR 4059), the title of the bill is Online Age Verification and Child Safety Act. The Bill directly addresses minors accessing porn on the internet, see below. If you feel as stongly as I do, please call or write Rep. Stupak letting him know that you support this bill.
AGE VERIFICATION REQUIREMENT.
(a) Pornographic Material in General- It is unlawful for an operator of any pornographic website accessible by any computer located within the United States to display any pornographic material, including free content that may be available prior to the purchase of a subscription or product, without first verifying that any user attempting to access their site is 18 years of age or older in a manner consistent with the regulations prescribed under subsection (c).
(b) Financial Transactions Requiring Age Verification-
(1) IN GENERAL- It is unlawful for an operator of any website accessible by any computer located within the United States to carry out any financial transaction relating to any product or service whose sale or access to persons under a legally specified age is prohibited by law, without first verifying that each user attempting to carry out the transaction meets the legally required age limitation, consistent with the regulations prescribed under subsection (c).
(2) SCOPE- The product or services subject to paragraph (1) include alcohol, cigarettes and tobacco, fireworks, gambling, handguns, pornographic material, and any other product or service that the Commission determines is age-restricted under Federal or State law.
(c) Regulations- Not later than 1 year after the date of enactment of this Act, the Commission, in accordance with section 553 of title 5, United States Code, shall promulgate regulations that–
(1) require the operator of any website or online service described in subsection (a) or (b) to–
(A) establish and maintain a system of internal policies, procedures and controls to ensure that no such material is displayed to any user attempting to access their site without first verifying that the user is 18 years or older;
(B) limit the use of any personal information collected by the website to age verification, except with the express consent of the user;
(C) establish and maintain reasonable procedures to protect the confidentiality, security, and integrity of personal information collected by the website; and
(D) undertake an independent audit function to test the system;
(2) allow the operator to terminate service to any user who fails to provide information sufficient to verify that the user meets the age requirement relating to the products, services, or content provided by the website; and
(3) establish a system under which the Commission develops and maintains a regularly updated list of operators and online sites displaying pornographic material which are not in compliance with this section.
I am going to contact him,
Thanks for the info!
Hi, so I’m fourteen and a girl. All of my guy friends and guys that I know (but don’t consider friends) admit that they watch porn pretty openly. I’d say it’s pretty normal for teenagers to watch porn. I watch porn from time to time, but mostly I just read erotic fanfiction (and write it too). Still, I’ll read anything from softcore to hardcore, and I really don’t see why people seem to think it’s so horrible. (I figure the difference between videos/images and writing is that you can convey emotions other than being turned on or being in pain through words.)
Watching/reading porn is not going to cause your son to have an abnormal relationship with someone. If he’s into that sort of thing, that’s totally fine. If he wants to do that sort of thing, there ARE actual people out there who are into it. If there weren’t porn involving bondage and such probably wouldn’t exist in the first place. So it’s not going to mean he can’t be with someone he loves.
I’m currently going out with a guy my age, and despite the fact that I read/watch porn, I’m totally fine with simply kissing him and not doing bondage or what have you (we’re both still virgins). It’s pretty innocent, and porn hasn’t affected our relationship at all.
“Were the women in these videos paid actresses? Why did they have tear streaked faces? Bruises? Far away looks in their eyes.”
To answer these questions…. There ARE people who get off on pain. They’re called masochists. Some people enjoy the endorphin rush they get from pain. Bruises are a form of marking. Some people like knowing that their dom owns them and has claimed them. The far away looks in their eyes could mean that they’re in subspace. Subspace is pretty hard to explain. The easiest way I can think of to explain it as when the person is rather disconnected from everything. It’s supposedly blissful (but I wouldn’t know).
I think you’re probably only making your son distance himself from you by freaking out about it. My parents found out about a year ago that I was reading pornographic fiction, and they freaked out, started putting up filters, took away my computer for a month, etc. That was when I was reading pretty soft stuff. I can’t imagine what they would do now. Now I stay locked away in my room all day (and night) and barely talk to them unless I have to. All of the things they did did not make me stop reading/writing erotic fanfiction. All it did was make me stay away from them as much as possible. If you want to have a good relationship with your son, criticizing him for looking at hardcore porn and preaching to him about how horrible it is, is not exactly the best thing to do. I get that people have already told you this (I didn’t read all the comments but some), but I wanted you to hear it from someone like me.
Yes Katie, an intelligent person, hope for humanity!
I always laugh when uppity housewives get their panties in a snit about porn, yet somehow all those trashy romance novels and Nora Roberts books are a-ok.
Your post was really intelligent and insightful, and probably everyone here should read it at least once.
The kids that have dysfunctional relationships after viewing porn are just completely stupid. You have to be a complete idiot to believe that is how sex really is. Much is the same with the debate on M-rated videogames. If the people who play them are smart kids, it will not affect them. If they are easily molded kids that will believe any media they see, they will be affected. If your son is a good kid, he will NOT turn out to be a bad boyfriend.
Anybody ever think that kids search the word “porn” (among others) because they hear it all the time, know that it’s supposed to be “bad”, but no one will tell them what it is or why it’s “bad”?
For the record, I am a woman. I view porn. I am very aware of the fetish and BDSM communities. (You’d be surprised at what your dentist etc., is up to after hours. To each his own.)
There are many sites that host things that make even someone like me flinch because it’s difficult to tell if the activity IS consensual. All true fetishists and players agree on two all-important principles: consent & safety. That’s what you should talk to your kids about.
A 15 year old in Toronto was charged yesterday for sexual assault on 99 year old woman. Any connection to this readily accessible porn for children???
A 15 year old in Toronto was charged yesterday for sexual assault on 99 year old woman. Any connection to this readily accessible chocolate bars for children???
probably not.
My first guess perhaps all that was missing in the boy’s head was that it’s ok to let your immagination run wild but there are things that people should stop and think,… that’s not acceptable. I wonder if this is the same situation for pedofiles?
My second guess is that perhaps the parents maybe didn’t teach the kid to respect other people.
Third guess is the parents did all they could to bring up their kid to what they thought was decent human being, but somehow down the line, the kid went astray, all on their own.
I have to say, I don’t know too much about the situation.
Actually, Debra, the answer is no. Throughout all human history there have been young perpetrators of sexual crimes. I live in Toronto and it’s been made very clear that this 15 year old also has some developmental challenges/mental issues. Access to porn has nothing to do with that.
Rather, I’m going to suggest that the sheer numbers indicated in this column indicate human beings’ insatiable appetite for sex and porn. It has always existed. Why is that? Leaving morality out for a second, sex is a natural and important function for our species. Social norms and moralities confine and/or prescribe what is and what is not acceptable. Right or wrong, our religious views are mainly responsible since they guide our morality and have helped shape what is today’s law.
Many societies are very conservative when it comes to sex. We can’t even talk about it openly, certainly not in a candid sense. But sex is splashed in front of us everywhere in our popular culture. It’s more overt today but sex has always been in popular culture. Look back through history and you will see example after example in just about every culture on earth going all the way back to Ancient Egypt. So porn is nothing new. Only the medium is.
Societies also create a taboo about sex – some more than others. Therein lies the issue with internet porn. The internet allows for individual secrecy. As humans we are hard wired for sexuality, and social attempts to squash that don’t work. It’s like telling a bird not to fly.
The numbers don’t lie. The internet, for all its wonders, is still primarily a tool for porn. No matter what anybody does or says, the fact is humans will forever find a way to engage in porn.
Articles like this are a red herring. People should be more concerned with managing the presence of porn in their lives. Worried about porn’s impact on your kids? Then be honest and frank with them. Too many people are too squeamish on this subject and default to immediately saying “no” without really thinking about the ramifications.
Things like child porn or violence can’t be condoned, but anything else we can’t ignore just because we don’t like it. Others do, and apparantly many.
With the ability of ISPs and online search providers like Google to log and keep records of the searches and sites visited by their subscribers is anyone else freaked out by the fact that all of these people, regardless of their motivation for searching out porn could in effect be permanently stigmatized for their actions? I agree with Julie that the content of most sites are hardly conducive to fostering a healthy sexual relationship between men and women based on a mutual respect if the viewer has no inclination to behave that way towards others. Should the more extreme sites be restricted or frankly illegal and how would this be possible to do at the level of the end user or surfer without compromising the basic function and purpose of the internet? If you want protection it simply shouldn’t be legal to offer these images online, particularly for profit under the guise of free speech. Yet the mindsets fostered by our North American culture of rampant individual entitlement and liberties can’t even comprehend that the legal arming of its populace with weapons designed to kill other citizens is a bad thing. It seems like a logical and ethical winner but unfortunately one country’s sense of what is acceptable can feed the global market (whether its porn, guns or drugs). However I believe that a sense of curiosity about other people’s interests should also not be allowed to brand the observer with a label yet in order to protect out children and society against the truly deviant (child abusers and those willing to act out on their fantasies of power, domination and inflicting pain or worse on the unwilling)the police need to be able to investigate. Where is the line going to be drawn on real privacy, which doesn’t seem to truly exist in the inline world now, and the protection of society?
What sucks is that its such a big deal. Would you rather kids use each other as porn? Why not encourage that kids (and adults) practise safe sexuality? It’s a shame how conservative and sexophobic the world still is today.
Based on personal experiences, I wonder if it would be more healthy to have kids develop sexualy with others kids but with protection. Moms and dads could have open doors for discussing sex and encouraging discussion. Just telling kids no to sex might shut the door. Letting the kids experience sex through porn might develop an unrealistic fantasy with images rather than real life human being. It might also lose the emotional connection with sexuality. I was sheltered from being anything close to another girl. Ended up developing my sexual imagination with magazines and now an addiction to porn on the internet. I don’t wish this for anybody.
If left to their own devices, would their imaginations create the extent of “scenes” and images that is available to them at the click of a mouse?
Kids wouldn’t use each other as “porn”, they would use each other for exploring and attempting sex, that is if they weren’t so aware of all the scenarios that can be imagined by money grubbing lazy people who couldn’t make it in a real job.
While I think that this is a sad statement about the moriality of today, the problem is not with the websites or the isp’s. Parents have to assume the lions share of the blame. There are programs that are out there to prevent these sites from being readily available and ipods/iphones can have the adult content blocked. At some point people have to stop blaming the state of society for the problems that it has and start accepting that by being ignorant of the situation, they are contributing to the decline in morality. If you are a parent today, as I am, you have a responsiblity and duty to protect your childrens from all things…even things that you may be ignorant of. Educate yourselves, dont blame others.
I’m not a parent, but sure hope I can figure out what is the best way to help my kids in the future to grow up sexually in a positive way that is not detremental to themselves or their partners.
First lolz hank you’re awesome and second…just relax these are statistics, your kids are products of their environment. God looking at porn isn’t going to change them or make them turn into porn addicts…Show good healthy relationships etc. and chances are that everything will be fine. If you’re worried about internet porn being a huge issue I think you need your head examined. OR you could just not have a computer. So stop your whining.
Time for a Break!!!
takin a break from all this whining over the natural curiousity that teenagers have about their sexuality….
have nothing important to speak about..
I’m 21 and I watched my first porno when I was around 11-12. It didn’t affect my view of women, sex, or relationships. I was smart enough to make my own opinions about those topics and I remained a virgin until my 20th year. I am not a mother yet and I hope to be one only when I am “ready”. Nonetheless, I have pondered what to tell my children about porn, sex, and sexuality. I think that the best policy is to have an open dialogue with your child. If they know you will regard them without prejudice they will come to you when an issue bothers them. This lady’s son obvious felt bad and went to her for guidance and support, not ridicule. People also have to remember, we are first and foremost animals. Sex is part of our genetic chemistry. Without it we would not have evolved or even come into existence. Spend less time making children feel bad about it and more time helping them understand it. Sexual dysfunction comes from childhood guilt and ridcule.
effect my view*
sorry!
You were right the first time, it’s ‘affect’… I can’t believe how bad people’s spelling is on here! I hope most of it is just typos without proper proofreading… that’s always been a pet peeve of mine! LOL… but anyway I agree with you that sexual dysfunction mostly comes from bad childhood experiences.
Did anyone ever hear of Parental Block? If anyone is worried about what sites your child visits, this is the way to go. I would think this would save a lot of worry for parents.
Humans, young, old, male, female are curious about sex (in all its various forms…not limited to missionary, under the covers with the lights off)
It is human nature to be curious about it, we were MADE that way.
Any social issues, mental issues, or anything else… is NOT related in any way shape or form to the human beings intrest in sexualy related content.
When I was a little kid, I remember sneaking away to look at National Geographic and see naked people. Out of curiosity, not some disfunctional perversion.
Now while its true they were not depicted having intercourse in the pictures…it was something “new”, “unique” and “diffrent” at the time.
Now (as is common place in virtually all media forms in acceptable society today) seeing a naked person and being either arroused by it (which is human nature if the form is appealing) or just being curious as to what is going on…does not make someone a pervert or sexualy/socially disfunctional.
If the kids feel “guilty” by viewing these materials, it is because their views (not their parents) are something they are not sure of yet, they are not sure how they are supposed to feel and are interested in the material, but do not know how to react to it.
If you know your child has gone looking online for sexually related material, talk to them about it…but in a rational manner. Talk about why its there, what its for and let them know that they are not going to hell and that their not a freak or pervert for being interested in it, but that its made for adults and explain why.
I would be more worried to know there was a kid out there that was showing no interest in pornographic content what-so-ever…because it would show they have a adversion to it, which is not natural and suggests the child could be sexualy abused and as such does not want to be reminded of what goes on during the abuse.
General interest in sexual materials, is NORMAL.
It’s time to reign things in. No one, kids included, should be subjected to this. Remember,we’re the adults and we apparently are allowing this to happen. No one knows what the long term psychological effects of viewing this stuff will have on kids (and the adults they will turn into). Kama Sutra it’s not.. All you need to do is sue the carriers (or atleast make them liable). It’s illegal for adults to expose children to pornography intentionally. It will take some strong action on the part of parents to lobby the government to hold the carriers accountable. Don’t worry, the technology is available to shut this down, it’s just a question of will..
Yeah right , I bet you didn’t look at skin magasines at the corner store when you were a kid.And you didn’t masterbate too!Your hypocrisy won’t hide the fact that its normal for kids to be curious about sex.
I agree, humans are made to be curious about sex. xD
Kids are CURIOUS. And since no one will tell them what sex really is at a young age maybe they are curious? So long as they don’t start having sex it’s ok.
I’m 18 and admit I’ve looked at porn – my parents don’t know this. But I’m old enough now so.. and it’s only out of curiousness and not like I actually want to do it. xD
In the age we leave it, people get scared because it’s much harder to keep things hidden. All kids are different
I suppose I can understand people being upset about such young kids looking at porn. xD Nothin wrong with teenagers doing it. So long as they don’t become addicted and have an understanding of sex it’s good.
And there you have it. Humans are creatures driven by curiosity. The only real difference between kids now, and kids then is access.
When I was young, magazines were all that were available. And they weren’t so easy to get hold of either. (The nostalgia of small town life. lol) Today, kids have the world right there at their fingertips. If there is something they want to know about, but can’t bring themselves to ask their parents, they simply google it.
I say, if you are going to give your child these kinds of tools, also give them the freedom to ask YOU for your interpretation of what they are looking at. You might be surprised at just how mature they can be.
So you say that you are hopeless in your curiosity for sex, that it is something that you can never controll. I will tell you right now that is a lie.
There is not one person on the plannet that can’t stop and controll those feelings if they really wanted to.
I am seventeen, I went through all those changes to, the only difference is that, unlike you, I had something called SELF CONTROLL. I was a master of my own body, and I didn’t let myself be controlled by it.
And pornogriphy is not healthy for anyone, adults, teenagers, children, no one. It is a SELFISH habbit, and can blow a crater in the mind on anyone who yealds to it. It keeps people from goals they have set, some have even lost their job because of pornography. It causes problems with marriges, Even ones that haven’t even happened yet. It begins to controll you.
I have to admit as well, recently i have let my gard down and have let myself slip. I began to see myself become more and more reliant on it. I began to become angry at everyone, worried that someone would find out, and unwilling to admit I had a problem. But as I read these comments, I again realize that IT IS NOT WORHT IT!
And I am sorry you have not seen that, and for the life that you could have had if you did.
I think there’s just way too much fearmongering about the psychological effects of fetish porn. If a parent has raised their child to know what right and wrong is, there shouldn’t be a problem. Plus, for every “weird” (e.g. BDSM) kind of porn out there, we’re exposed to a whole array of “normal” (e.g. The whole holding hands, cuddling and kissing stuff) sexual imagery through television and movies on a daily basis.
I view porn frequently, ever since grade 5 (I’m 22 now), and depending on my mood I choose different types. Sometimes I may feel like viewing the more extreme forms such as bondage and etc, but I do so knowing that it’s roleplay. I do something called THINKING, and I know what’s normal and not normal in the average relationship. And, if a couple discusses and consents to roleplay some rough sexual acts, it doesn’t mean that porn has detrimentally damanged their psyche. Everyone has an imagination, but so long as they can seperate that from their understanding of what constitutes normal behaviour in society, there’s no harm being done.
Recently there was an attempt to bring sex ed. to Ontario schools starting from grade 1. It’s currently stalled right now pending review, due to the major public backlash from conservative parents and religious groups. I’m a whole-hearted supporter of this initiative, and I think this article simply reinforces the needs to introduce sex ed at an earlier age in the age of the internet, so they know what’s normal or not, and so they can have a healthy medium for discussion among peers instead of discussing it with parents, which can be embarassing for both parties.
has anyone heard of xxxchurch.com?
they offer some free software that monitors any questionable activty on a computer and once every two weeks, it emails the desired recipients a list of anything it isn’t sure about. some of the sites that get mailed are definitely porn, but sometimes it is innocent stuff too so you just gotta check it out when the email arrives. we have it on our computers.
i agree that it is important to not freak out too much if you find out your kids are watching porn…especially teens. knowing what they’ve seen is a bridge to a discussion. but some people can really have their entire lives affected by pornography…and sex addiction is real. and by that, i’m referring to people who cannot form real relationships, who engage in risk-taking and generally hurt the people around them.
Watching pornography is only “normal” because we as a society have allowed our morals to slide down the sewer. Therefore people will continue argue that there’s nothing wrong about it and isn’t a problem. They believe that by viewing such degrading material they are satisfying their “natural” curiosity about sex and the like but they aren’t. Amusingly, they call people who are against pornography “prudes” and accuse them of being “against sex” and the like.
An article with statistics like this is very telling of the current moral state of our society. People are content to blame the parents for not doing a good enough of a job of monitoring their children’s online activities or restricting settings or installing software to block pornographic content from appearing in searches and therefore don’t see the big picture and overall reason for the occurences of issues like these, that being the needlessly rampant availability of pornographic content virtue of the internet (“the internet is for porn”- an example of a statement made to justify and subsequently condone this).
Overall, the consumption of pornoraphic material these days often happens on a strictly mindless level. It starts with curiosity (normal), continues as a means to satisfy brief feelings of boredom, anxiety and the like- states of mind which can efficiently be dealt with virtue of other more “whole” and ultimately more satisfying methods (not normal), and all too often ends with addiction (not normal).
Pornography, being business of a vast scale, only EXPLOITS the sexual side of human reality and doesn’t EXPLORE it.
Therefore you’re bombarded with images to “set you off”. If you want to explore it, read books and the like.
By watching pornography you are allowing your perception to be dictated by unrealistic and often damaging (no matter what they tell you) sexual imagery which needlessly clutters the mind. No amount of passing biological pleasure is worth it.
DON’t do it people.
A is right.
there’s a part in the book “The Brain that Changes Itself” that talks about the growing problem of internet porn addiction..
make no mistake, nothing normal about constantly needing to view porn online.
whether you have no problem with porn or not. children shouldn’t be exposed so readily to it.
what we come across as kids, stays with us for life, whether you realize it or not. whether you accept this reality or not.
sex isn’t porn. and porn, especially the crap online, isn’t sex. too bad people can’t understand the difference.
I want my sex.
I want my porn.
They don’t have to be the same thing.
why do you want sx and pn
Reading most of the comments on this page, I think it’s safe to say that the morality of the world’s officially gone to hell.
I’m glad to see that I’m not the only one who’s realized this.
Please, even when I was younger I saw porn before age 11 and so did almost all my friends and we didn’t even have the internet.
Funny how people spend so much time worrying about this but, openly have no issues with violence. I would rather have my kids look at a boob or a dick rather then all the violence others let their kids watch.
Szymon,
Why do you even bother posting such an ignorant comment. I take it that you know Julie personally? Otherwise, I can’t imagine how else you come to the conclusion that she’s a b*tch; soley based on a couple of posts.
Everyon’s entitled to their own opinion but why not at least make an attempt at showing some respect, buddy.
I do give you credit though; it takes a true badass with massive cajones to bash someone over the web. Well done buddy, well done.