Top 7 Facebook profile pictures that epically fail
Here’s a look at several Facebook profile pictures that suck; check them out so you can avoid these pitfalls when choosing your own photo.
I once wrote about the top five things people do on Facebook that really annoys me. Something I failed to include in that blog post was people who use really crappy profile pictures. When I say “crappy” I don’t mean the photo being out of focus or anything like that – after all, it’s Facebook, not a pro photography site – what I’m referring to are profile pictures that are trying to go for a certain look but, sadly, portray something else entirely; profile pictures that are either screaming, “I’m lazy and have no friends!” or “I’m trying too hard to look sexy.” Here’s a look at seven types of Facebook profile pictures that totally suck.
1. I-have-no-friends-so-need-to-shoot-this-myself shot
We’re all familiar with this type of profile picture, you might even have several posted on your own Facebook account. This is the type of shot where you really want a profile picture, but don’t have anyone around to capture the photo for you and/or you’re too lazy to properly compose the image and set the camera’s timer. The result is an image where your arm is extended and visible in the shot. One word: lame.
2. Captured-in-front-of-the-bathroom-mirror shot
Very similar to the I-have-no-friends-so-need-to-shoot-this-myself shot due to the fact that the person is lazily taking the photo themselves, this type of profile picture will show the person holding the camera and include a background consisting of one or more of the following: (unflushed) toilet, grungy bathtub, tacky shower curtain, or messy countertop. Further, these profile pictures will often have an unattractive glare in it; the result of using the camera’s flash against the mirror.
3. I’m-trying-to-look-sexy-but-really-I-just-look-constipated shot
Here’s a popular Facebook profile picture I see a lot of teenage girls use. You know the one, where they’re trying to get their lips looking pouty, but their forehead wrinkles and it goes horribly wrong. Instead of looking sexy, all they accomplish is looking as though they need to take an extra-strength laxative. (For the record, I’m not some pervert who’s creeping the Facebook pages of teen girls, my son and several nieces and nephews are teenagers.)
4. Eyes-a-stoner shot
Another profile picture that’s often created by young women; this is the one where they try really hard to create an image where their eyes look mysterious, sexy and sleepy. The problem is that the final result is more times than not, not what they were aiming for. The picture just makes them look like a hard-core stoner.
5. OMG! shot
The complete opposite to the eyes-a-stoner shot, the OMG! profile picture happens when the person tries to emphasize the size of their eyes. Instead of having an image where the subject’s eyes look naturally large and beautiful, the final image only makes the person look as though they’re a deer caught in the headlights of an oncoming Mack truck, hence the name: OMG!
6. Check-out-the-twins shot
Okay, so sadly it seems that most of the Facebook profile pictures that epically fail are time and time again posted by young women and this one is no exception. This type of shot is when the person is trying to attempt to look natural, but it’s so obvious that they’re putting full emphasis on their double lattes. Hey, there’s nothing wrong with sporting your lovely lady lumps (as long as you’re old enough to do so!), but don’t make it so apparent that that’s your goal: a little discretion can be sexy too!
7. I’m-desperate-and-try-too-hard shot
This Facebook profile picture can be considered the combo-pack of them all. It fails more than any of the others listed here because it includes more than one of the issues above. Look around Facebook and you will likely see numerous offenders. For example, the two girls who stand on the edge of the bathtub to photograph themselves in the mirror, whilst also looking stoned and constipated at the very same time (is that talent, or what?).
What’d I miss?
What other types of Facebook profile pictures are complete failures that I haven’t mentioned here? Leave a comment to share your thoughts!
This whole long list of comments is, for the most part, a really sad commentary on our society today. Grow up people. This is why I rarely have anything to do with Facebook or other social media. If this is any indication of who is out there to “socialize” with, I’ll take a pass. For those who responded like civilized adults – thank you.
“Pose like a duck and throw up a deuce”
These are the ones that make me LMFAO….girls sticking their lips out as far as they will stretch and flash the peace sign, trying to be sexy..LOL
A tip for fat girls — only fat girls use close ups of their face as their profile picture. These photos are usually taken by themselves with the camera high above their head looking down on them.
How about the guys?
-Look at my big fish photo
-Standard guy on motorcycle
-Me and my drunk buddies
And really, come on, do you think that you’re really that interesting that I want to hear about when you take a breath or make some obscure (and retardedly mysterious) reference. Who cares who you’re with, keep it to yourself. Oh, and how many of those 500 friends do you think would come to your rescue?
I lol’ed at this article, its funny and spot-on. I am one of those people who has made a conscious effort NOT to have any of these ridiculous kind of pics even taken!
What I don’t agree with is the criticism towards people who post fish, motorcyle, marathon type pics/comments on their fb – isn’t that why we are on fb? To share our accomplishments and keep in touch? I would much rather hear about someone’s motorcycle trip than what they had for dinner! To me, having this background helps me learn more about them and perhaps go to them for advice should I need it :)
As for the young pup from Toronto – the more you rant the more clearly we see that you are in need of psychiatric care. Just saying.
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Facebook Profile pictures was the topic. How not to represent yourself was the subtopic. How did the thread go from humourous to rebellious?
Too many younguns and not enough grey matter.
Mysteriously missing T-shirt shot.
This one is the male version of the check out my tatas shot. Far too often guys appear half clothed and oiled up. Flaunting their assets (or lack thereof) and trying too hard ain’t just for the female half.
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