Top 7 Facebook profile pictures that epically fail
Here’s a look at several Facebook profile pictures that suck; check them out so you can avoid these pitfalls when choosing your own photo.
I once wrote about the top five things people do on Facebook that really annoys me. Something I failed to include in that blog post was people who use really crappy profile pictures. When I say “crappy” I don’t mean the photo being out of focus or anything like that – after all, it’s Facebook, not a pro photography site – what I’m referring to are profile pictures that are trying to go for a certain look but, sadly, portray something else entirely; profile pictures that are either screaming, “I’m lazy and have no friends!” or “I’m trying too hard to look sexy.” Here’s a look at seven types of Facebook profile pictures that totally suck.
1. I-have-no-friends-so-need-to-shoot-this-myself shot
We’re all familiar with this type of profile picture, you might even have several posted on your own Facebook account. This is the type of shot where you really want a profile picture, but don’t have anyone around to capture the photo for you and/or you’re too lazy to properly compose the image and set the camera’s timer. The result is an image where your arm is extended and visible in the shot. One word: lame.
2. Captured-in-front-of-the-bathroom-mirror shot
Very similar to the I-have-no-friends-so-need-to-shoot-this-myself shot due to the fact that the person is lazily taking the photo themselves, this type of profile picture will show the person holding the camera and include a background consisting of one or more of the following: (unflushed) toilet, grungy bathtub, tacky shower curtain, or messy countertop. Further, these profile pictures will often have an unattractive glare in it; the result of using the camera’s flash against the mirror.
3. I’m-trying-to-look-sexy-but-really-I-just-look-constipated shot
Here’s a popular Facebook profile picture I see a lot of teenage girls use. You know the one, where they’re trying to get their lips looking pouty, but their forehead wrinkles and it goes horribly wrong. Instead of looking sexy, all they accomplish is looking as though they need to take an extra-strength laxative. (For the record, I’m not some pervert who’s creeping the Facebook pages of teen girls, my son and several nieces and nephews are teenagers.)
4. Eyes-a-stoner shot
Another profile picture that’s often created by young women; this is the one where they try really hard to create an image where their eyes look mysterious, sexy and sleepy. The problem is that the final result is more times than not, not what they were aiming for. The picture just makes them look like a hard-core stoner.
5. OMG! shot
The complete opposite to the eyes-a-stoner shot, the OMG! profile picture happens when the person tries to emphasize the size of their eyes. Instead of having an image where the subject’s eyes look naturally large and beautiful, the final image only makes the person look as though they’re a deer caught in the headlights of an oncoming Mack truck, hence the name: OMG!
6. Check-out-the-twins shot
Okay, so sadly it seems that most of the Facebook profile pictures that epically fail are time and time again posted by young women and this one is no exception. This type of shot is when the person is trying to attempt to look natural, but it’s so obvious that they’re putting full emphasis on their double lattes. Hey, there’s nothing wrong with sporting your lovely lady lumps (as long as you’re old enough to do so!), but don’t make it so apparent that that’s your goal: a little discretion can be sexy too!
7. I’m-desperate-and-try-too-hard shot
This Facebook profile picture can be considered the combo-pack of them all. It fails more than any of the others listed here because it includes more than one of the issues above. Look around Facebook and you will likely see numerous offenders. For example, the two girls who stand on the edge of the bathtub to photograph themselves in the mirror, whilst also looking stoned and constipated at the very same time (is that talent, or what?).
What’d I miss?
What other types of Facebook profile pictures are complete failures that I haven’t mentioned here? Leave a comment to share your thoughts!
Hilarious and so true. If you have read this article, which you obviously have if you are reading this, go now and check your friends Facebook profile photos. How many of them have just recently changed, how many of them should change? Maybe you can send them the link to this article. And then sit back and laugh and laugh and laugh.
Facebook should require the same type of photos are are required for Passports. Just the facts madame… no smile, no double lattes, no bed in the background, no laxitives, no foolishness. And given that most computers now have built in camera features, there should never again be a bathroom or mirror shot.
By the same token if everyone took a proper profile photo… no article, no laughter, no knowing that this person is likely too lame to have appearing on your friends or acquaintences list.
@TheProfile….your a dink! Stop wasting the air we breath and get lost! Very lost!
How can you expect to be taken seriously when you clearly have no command of the English language? “Your a dink”…should be “You’re a dink” and “the air we breath..” should be ” the air we breathe”…
Now who should get lost?
Loser.
LMAO….thats MR. Loser to you DR.Dink! HAHA first you insult me over a logical statement about your screwed up society and your way of thinking, then call me a loser. I thought you are a DR or so your false name implies, cant you use bigger words than that? So me speaking out against this kind of reporting and conversation is WRONG! Well im glad I am not like the rest of you. And if you are ever in Toronto look me up Matthew Jessup, ill teach you a thing or 2 about the ENGLISH language and the proper morals and values society should have if they say the love GOD! You and the rest of them have no concept of any GOD other than thinking you are a GOD! Yeah changing the world for the better and speaking out against this kind of reporting when there are bigger things to fix in society and the world is wrong. Should we not fix whats wrong b4 we think we can sit back and have conversations about something that has no meaning and does not matter a dam! Or is your stupid cell phone more meaning full to you than GOD or proper human etiquette! Its ppl like you that make me ashamed to be a human being! I cant get lost, GOD found me. And what I have been taught by GOD, you and all the rest of them that are leaving these comments about me and are judging me over 2 comments I made will NEVER have a chance to understand with your closed mind. Some ppl just need to be dipped in vagisil to stop from being irritating C***S! PEACE to the rest of you that want change for the better!!!
My goodness, but you really are a tool.
I don’t think you should be using so many offensive words in the same sentence as God. You are exactly opposite of what you are claiming to be. Your comments and crude and distasteful.
Well Mr. Matthew Jessop, I am ashamed to say you are Canadian. By the way God would not approve of such language, so quit using him as a reason to be a dink.
Matthew has his priorities very mixed up. It would appear that he is a typical young person who can do no wrong. Just ask him! The biggest wrong that he and his cronies can fix is to get rid of the idea that his or any other God is better or best or will magically fix his problems. Nothing in all of history promoted more wars than religion. Good luck with that waiting for God to fix the world. Why don’t you try holding your breath and kicking your feet!!!!!
Hmmm, I am thinking that someone might be offended by your column!! I wonder which fail he was guilty of? ;)
Blah blah blah… take a high school course in english Mr. temper tantrum. Maybe have someone change your diaper while your at it.
Also, maybe jump down off that pedestal you’re on before you fall.
God didn’t find you. Nowhere in the bible does it say to have a hissy fit on a public forum. It does say ‘Judge not, lest ye be judged yourself’
I’ll translate that for you.
It means do not judge other people or you will be judged yourself, by God.
Yet here you are judging people on their cell phones, etiquette, proper grammer etc.
Sorry punk, you don’t know God at all… but he will be judging you on your rudeness in him name.
I hear the fires are hot down there.
Going to church doesn’t make you saved, anymore than standing in a garage makes you a car.
Go f yourself. That is all.
BURN!
@Matthew – Seriously man, settle down. It’s a light hearted article and so are the comments. It’s meant to inform those that are currently posting idiotic profile photos that they (if they have common sense)might find embarassing in the future.
If you’re taking this seriously… I’m guessing that you’re one of the examples or have a profile photos as described above.
And who is this “we” stuff you speak of? You have a Cybil issue that you need to deal with? Perhaps you have a multipersonality photo on Facebook… you and you invisible friends?
But thanks for being so reactionary. The lulz I got from your reply could only be greater if you attached your Facebook photo to it. If you were looking to insult or upset… epic fail.
Sit back, relax, and take a deep breath. You’ll feel me, I’ll be all up inside you via expelled air. LMAO
Thumb up!
So, apparently MaTtHeW has some issues with people voicing their opinions!
The article CLEARLY asks for folks to leave comments regarding stoopid profile pics. IMHO Profile only states the obvious…
Not sure what/why Mat took such offense…(perhaps his pics are rife with lameness)
The Vag cream remark is HIGHLY INAPPROPRIATE…
Perhaps MaT should invest in some PreP ‘H’ and slather his own melon head with it.
chow
All I can say about this article is that it’s really, really boreing! Don’t you have something else more important to do than write about something as trivial as this??????? Duh…if this is something to complain about now what will you be like when you’re 60 YIKES scary. Get a life.
spoken like a true juvenile .. with nothing better to do in life than negative forum posting
Whats funny is you tell the writer to get a life yet you took the time to read the article and still make a comment..who needs to get a life? Don’t take things so seriously, we need a little break from all the regular news stories we like to complain about.
LMAO to you as well…I take the time to change the world not contribute to the demise of it like you. Did I mention vagisil LOL!
Well said! I dont even know what I was thinking when I clicked into this article. I think I just wanted to see another stupid story the world doesnt need. Ya screw the environment , the poor and the homeless, screw trying to change the system to benefit everyone not just the rich. Screw finding new cures for all our diseases & illnesses. Lets write about pictures ppl post on facebook. Between FB and all the stupid articles i read about stupid FB I am ready to delete my profile on FB for the last time! Hey all try the new Google+ its better than that idiotic FB.
Really!? Someone needs to learn to relax! It IS possible to care about global issues, be active in eradicating homelessness, poverty and other social ills, work towards a cure for illnesses AND maintain a sense of humour.
Stopping to take a light-hearted look at human nature and laugh at ourselves refreshes the soul and makes us more efficient when we return to our lifes work.
Balance is the key to it all….this type of humour may not be your cup of tea, but then again, I may not care for yours whatever it is.
Each to their own, I say!
Excellent response, you wrote exactly what I was thinking while reading these letters.
Amen igloo girl. Well said!
Not EVERY moment has to be geared towards saving the world; nor should snarky, poorly written articles be posted for the world to see. Calm down, and avoid nasty comments; this the Internet, losers: the global stage!
We’ll all welcome you removing yourself from social media. While I agree that people could be spending their time better to provide a positive change and/or influence on the world around them, if this is your cause, perhaps you should be reading and commenting on articles on the UN website, or perhaps the Huffington Post even. But don’t give us the self=righteous bull-sh@t. You were commenting merely to spread your negative attitude. It’s people like you that give the rational religious people a bad name. Spreading your filth, all in the name of “God”.
Are one of those pictures of you?
…and yet you read the whole thing…
Irene, if this article was so terribly BORING, why are you reading it and then commenting on it. GET A LIFE
Facebook … not on it, don’t plan to be, don’t have to worry about a photo!
You forgot the armpit shot. The one where they take a photo of themselves with a cell phone, or camera, held at arms length and usually from above. Nine times out of ten, they get a lovely shot of their armpit. ~How lovely, she waxes!~ I mean, really?
Oh come on, it was meant to be humorous. A tongue in cheek look at profile pictures.
ur so right, a lil humour is a good thing
Forgot the “I’m kissing my boyfriend/girlfriend” one.
I wish you didn’t mostly diss women. Guys are fb. profile pic offenders, too. Think – I’m the life of the party double fisting. Look how hot I am with three chicks all over me. Where’s my shirt? Oh well, here’s a topless pic. Maybe I’ll pose with my muscles flexed.
well said!
~You also forgot the Puckered Lips, the ones look like a rosebud and NO! Not the Flower! I mean like a rear orifice….
Forgot the “look at me – I’m running a marathon” one – or any photo that involves showing off participating in some difficult sport. You just KNOW the only reason why the person even has a facebook page is to let EVERYONE know they once ran a marathon! It just cries out “desperate for attention!”
I know a person like that hahaha… so true!
Why ppl would bother to comment just to criticize is beyond me! Yes there are other more important issues in the world, and there are many articles written on them as well.
Sometimes, its ok to just write about what’s on your mind at the moment – so thanks for writing this – I’ll share it, in the hopes that it will boost someone’s self-esteem – maybe they’ll take a harder look at the pic before they post it? and maybe planting that little seed will reap a harvest of POSITIVE feelings :)
have a great day all!
this is what I also want out of this article.
Other lame profile pictures you missed;
Picture of you with your ex with the ex cut out except for the arm or something.
Pictures of your kids.
Pictures of pets…
I really hate the “I’m so hot, I need to take a picture of myself almost naked (usually with the cellphone pic pose) and post it so that everyone can see how hot I am.”
I think everytime we point the finger at someone else for something that really is no big deal watch out. Perhaps YOU should check your spelling.
Do men have bad profile pictures too or just the teenage girls? Silly article.
What about the ‘look at me, got my picture taken with a celebrity and you didn’t’ pic?
You know what I hate? People with no sense of humor. It’s ok to have a laugh. You don’t have to be militant about ALWAYS being about issues. Geez. Relax, folks, this article is funny. I thought about how many of MY OWN pictures are offenders like this!
I agree Eric! I enjoyed the article, cringed at some stages when I realizd that I am “in” some of those photo types and even worse, have taken my own pics (the cell phone pose!!)… YIKES!!! Life is too short to disect light hearted articles like this – read, enjoy and the log into Facebook and delete offending photos (kidding, really I am!!) Chillax!
*then* log into Facebook and delete…
well i take offence to the other matthew bringing shame to my name
How is this for shame…..I hate your species and your kind! Message from some Angles I know. Got anything else to say to me coward!!! Or can you only insult ppl while hiding behind a computer without valid reason! Go back to your video games and your cell phone and keep pissing on ppl that at least try and make changes for the better. Im SO sick of grade school crap like yours. So what point are you making on this news article other than insulting me. You talk like a tough guy, why dont you come meet me face to face and see how tough you are! I know for a fact your just another dink with a mouth with no point. Oh oh I said dink again better make 50 more comments about that!
Why dont you start looking at what is wrong with yourself and not what you assume is wrong with me.
BTW….most of you made my partner of 15 years laugh till she cried. Thanks for that ;-}
dude dont feed the troll
Still no luck with the Prep’H’ Mat…perhaps your boyfriend(oh…I mean ‘Partner’ of 15 years)
can lend you some cash…
was hoping/wishing you would have disappeared by now…but you truly are hemorrhoids…you never REALLY go away…
You should contact a shrink if you are getting messages from angles…what other geometric shapes are talking to you.
You mention ‘dink’ and ‘mouth’ alot…are those things something you try to connect very much?? Perhaps your ‘partner’ can help with that too? Pull the foot out first though you illiterate anal canal.
No ASSuming there, ya dork.
As far as meeting you face to face…haha…get real, I am a gentleman…I don’t pick fights with the weaker sex.
OMG, haha, I love two things today. #1. – Dipped in vagisil. LMFAO
#2. – The person who said, heyy don’t put nasty comments, then proceeded to call everyone losers. Priceless. Human behavior is hilarious
Human behaviour….STINKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Amen to that brother :-}
Don’t forget the “I work for crappy MSN.ca and this is the best I can do when writing an article” shot.
Seriously?
Wait just a second. I don’t mind if you critique our content, but calling us “crappy MSN.ca?” that’s below the belt. Especially since we are Sympatico.ca. I can’t really comment as to the crappiness of any of our esteemed competitors. :-)