Kids under 13 using Facebook
Facebook does not permit children under 13 to use their services. Does that mean you should stop your kid from trying?
Children under the age of 13 are not permitted to have a Facebook account. In fact, according to Facebook, they aren’t even allowed to access the website. Obviously, there are some holes in the system. It’s not as though Facebook can stop your 10 year old from viewing their website. In all honesty, Facebook can’t even stop your child from creating an account. Any kid with a little knowhow can figure out how to open an account by faking the year of their birth.
So, as a parent, what do you do when your preteen asks if they can open a Facebook account? Or, if you discover your kid has already registered using a false date of birth, what actions should you take, if any?
Though I won’t go as far as saying that I allow my 12 year old to use Facebook – smiles and waves at the Facebook police – I can say that I see a lot of preteens doing just that. Is it such a bad thing? Sure, there’s a lot of stuff on Facebook that wouldn’t be appropriate for young eyes, but you can find just as inappropriate content by doing something as innocent as a Google Image search (without the proper filters on). It all comes down to education and monitoring.
What do you think? Do you allow your preteen to use Facebook? If so, do you feel guilty about breaking the rules and, essentially, feel like you’re teaching your kids that it’s okay to go against policies sometimes, so long as “everyone else” is doing it? Or are you a parent that absolutely will not allow your child to open a Facebook account until they’re 13 and feel that any parent who does is irresponsible?
Well i’m a grand mother,and it’s the only way i keep tabs with my grandkids,and so long as the parents are aware of what( kids)they are seeing,doing and playing on face book,i don’t have problems with it.
But i think they need to screen some of facebooks applications though,some are a bit rude ….for little ones imaginations!
And its true ,”our children do know Loopholes,in the systems to Lie about there ages and get into facebook,without a parent knowing,that is so Sad but what can you do , accept the fact,and with proper guidance ,teaching our kids, to use caution when on it!
Let them ,have some fun,i am enjoying seeing ,talking and playing games,with my grandkids!
Thank you
My 12-year-old has an account, I allowed it after in-depth and continuous conversations about what is ok and what isn’t. I have his password, that’s the condition of having it and it allows me to monitor and teach him skills on how to conduct himself on the web (filters as set extremely high). If he opened an account later on, on his own at a later age, I’m not sure that I would have this level of control. He’s managing it well (maybe because he knows I can see it?) I didn’t check into the age requirement, otherwise, I might have waited another year.
I think kids who aren’t in high school getting facebook is stupid. First of all, they don’t even have networks for elementary schools, only high schools, colleges, universities etc. I got facebook in grade 9, I’m now in grade 11, and to be honest. Kids should just NOT have it, I’ve had so many creeps message me asking where I live and asking to be friends. Kids aren’t smart enough to say no. I’m sorry. Its stupid.
I personally don’t think so, considering the fact that you can set up filters on the computer, and HIGH SCHOOL? Really, wow.
I think it’s a great way for friends to chat with each other, especially if they haven’t seen eachother for a while, or moved recently. But I do agree, that kids should not have an account if they are under the age of 13 unless their parent agrees.
-LeighAnna
It’s called a PHONE. Hurr Durr
You kno wat you should do you should ask them WHY? ask them if they kno you in real ask them some questions
I’m 13, and i think my mom is going overboard with the whole “No facebook, ever!” thing. i have even told her that i won’t post pictures, be my buddy, and that she can even have my password, but she still won’t budge. My dad said i could if she’d let me. I have just recently entered highschool and ALLLLL of my friends have Facebook! its just not fair. i really think i had a reasonable deal with her, considering i am a staight A student, and i am incredibly responsible. but she still doesn’t care. i agree that it is like a learning expierience, like crossing the road. how am i supposed to grow and be ready when i am older, when i am always kept on a short leash?? (of course i am also talking about other things besides facebook.) any suggestions???? i need help!!!!
( i made a Facebook anyways, but i can’t ever log on at home, only at a friends house! she could’ve had all that information, but now she won’t ever know what i am doing, not that i would do anything worng, of course… just play Farmville…)
God, kid. You’re mom doesn’t want you doing facebook and you snuck behind her back? Really!
I recommend the other way, let her reasearch it, if she doesn’t then oh well. But don’t disobey her! Really! Your mom probably doesn’t think you’re ready, so deal with it!
I have three boys, all on facebook. I have their sign in information and check regularly to see what’s up.
I have full confidence they’re using it wisely. We have all the privacy things marked that we can and they have to ask before they accept friends or add applications.
There are so many other dangers out there, facebook seems fairly okay to me. I use it regularly to keep in touch with friends and family. I also use caution though.
Limited (only four applications such as wordscraper, scrabble etc) applications and that’s it.
We let our pre-teen daughter on facebook with a few very strict rules.
1. Her mother and and I must be always be ‘friends’. She is not allowed to drop us.
2. We know her user name and her password. She is not allowed to change it without our permission.
3. She isn’t allowed to acess any quizzes without our permission.
4. We will access her page at random to see what is going on.
5. There is to be no swearing/foul languge on her page.
If there’s any breaking of these rules she will lose facebook privileges temporarily/permanently if the rules are broken repeatedly. It’s been 6 months so far and she’s been very good about the rules. We haven’t had a problem yet. She knows we’re checking.
We believe that the best way to deal with preteens and facebook is strong parental monitoring.
We also do not allow her to adjust her privacy settings. We’ve adjusted them to our preferences for her privacy and safety.
Frankly I do not think little kids should be on Facebook with the adults. I do not include my friends children on my FB because I do not deem it a place for kids at all IMO.
If that is what you think, that’s fine.
I did it early because my mom let me. I think it is ok for kids to chat with their friends and play KID SAFE games as long as the parent knows what they are doing and checks on them regularly.
Unfortunately my dear, that is assuming that all parents are alike. They are not. To some parental checking means seeing the kid at the computer; to others it means demands to know everything. Finding a middle ground to go hand in hand with trusting a teenager(!) is not easy so blanket statements such as ‘okay as long as parents check’ is not accurate.
Children today need to learn that although they have some freedom, it doesn’t make them an adult nor the parent in the relationship. Parents today need to learn that although their children have more freedom, they are still the parent. Period.
for one, i go on facebook. for two i am 11. 10 people from my class of 30 go on there too. (1 out of 3) my parents let me register. facebook is just too lazy to send out emails to parents asking for permission. (ok, maybe not lazy) but i can register for barbie girls as a 9and ahalf yr old with permission, cant i do that on facebook. i have my profile set to private, as well as everything else. my friends are all the same. i think facebook is GREAT, and shouldn’t be limited to adults and teens. seriously, i’d sooner throw a sweet 13. YAY! i can register for facebook legally! w00t!
SAME I HAVE 25 POEPLE IN MY CLASS ALMOST EVERY SINGLE PERSON IN MY CLASS HAS A FACEBOOK AND IM 9 AND IM JUST USING IT FOR THE GAMES IM USING IT WHEN IM 10 OR 11
By the way, I’m at work if anyone is wondering about the time my comments are posted.
My only concern is the “double” accounts people use, both my ex’s have this, as do I now… my son is much too young (4 1/2), thank god… I encourage the use of facebook for chatting and connecting with old friends but, all the craziness is more then enough to shut down facebook… My sister’s ex was arrested because of a group on hating three pudgy girls in their school and I detest this behaviour but, would it happen if facebook has better rules and policies? The police also use facebook like CPIC (Canadian Police Info Centre), to verify people and convict of crimes if comments or msgs can be linked to said arrest. The amount of spats I’ve witnessed is absurd!, People actually fight over a misunderstanding on facebook? Whatever happened to going out/ leaving the house & making plans! I would rather my son playing outside and having fun then inside on facebook gossiping or trying to get girls through the many “hook-up” programs… On that note, facebook’s ads are sometimes sexually provacative by luring users to AdultFriendFinder and sites encouraging random sexual encounters. The internet gives “ka-hoo-nas” to everyone as my easy-going cousin would start fights over facebook on whatever but, in person she’s happy-go-lucky and avoids fights, I find this concerning at the least (in terms of today’s youth). I enjoy facebook as a random way to say hi to an old friend, not a religious cult. ;) P.S. I’m 21, just so you know I’m not some old geezer cussin’ about today’s viral media…
As long as your child is 13 or over, I think it is GREAT! However, if they are not yet 13 you are basically telling your child it is OK to lie, it is OK to break the rules, that you as the parent matter more than anyone else. It doesn’t matter what YOU think is best for your child, you didn’t create the website!! This is the problem with our society! Parents are TEACHING their children it is OK to lie and break rules, that nothing matters and that you can do what makes you happy. My 10 year old wanted one and I told her she can have one on he 13th birthday. She is learning that I follow other people’s rules and PATIENCE. UGGGHHH!!! I am a teacher and all the parents with kids under 13 on facebook, you are DESTROYING our society!!
BINGO!
The reason facebook has the 13 and obove policy is because they don’t want parents yelling at them about how their kid got into innapropriate material. And by the way, I don’t agree. If a parent thinks that facebook is ok, that’s their rule. My mom kept strict eye on me when I was still under-aged.
Well, in my opinion, I think that it is ok for your child to have a Facebook account at the age of 15, if you the parent also have one.Yes, I know people will disagree with me, but that’s just my opinion.However, I, myself and all the rest of the household [my husband, 3 boys and 2 girls] do not have, or require this social networking site. I believe that if a child wants Facebook, they should just ask, and that they should be of a reasonable age, and should know the risks, future and present of having it.This is just my opinion of course.
I agree to everything you said. But, my mother let me do it when I was underaged, but you monitored my account every 4 days.
My 9 year old daughter is on facebook, mainly so that I could get my farmfille and cafeworld back. I approve all her friends. There are a number of adult family members on her friend list and she has made friends with cousins that we would never normally see.
She is by no means the only one in her school, there are at least 8 in her class alone. They have had talks on cyber safety at school. I am more concerned at the fact she goes hunting on google for things like hannah montana episodes and ends up on sites that lead to sites that end up in china. Luckily I have some serious virus etc security set up.
I grew up in the 70′s and 80′s and was always out at the park or on my bike, at least on facebook with security settings high I can keep an eye on her.
I love getting emails more than mail and I love blogging…it’s like getting what you wanna say out without speaking.
This is such an important discussion. I have written a variety of articles about preteens and technology on my blog called Growing Up Well. Here’s an example http://growingupwell.org/2010/01/08/too-much-internet-too-soon/
Andy,
I was so glad to read your comments and I am so on your side. What do you think about a mom lying for her 9 year old daughter to get on facebook? This is what we are going through with my husband’s x-wife. She has a PHD. You would think she would have sense enough to read the rules and age requirement of facebook!
Thanks for letting me share….Keep up the great work!
Kids need guidance. I needed it when I was a kid. No more than ever, our kids need help with their digital lives. http://growingupwell.org/2010/02/09/active-parenting-works-best/
I have noticed that alot of parents here are not fully understanding the concept of how social networking sites work and the risks involved with young children being on such networks.
Let me explain a little bit to you.. your child has a friends list, some of these friends may have open profiles (low to no security settings on their account) hence, strangers and possible predators can read these friends activities.
For example, your child has a completely secured profile (security settings to the max), now her friend from school happens to have very low security settings, allowing strangers to read her status messages, view her photos, see her infomation (school etc). Now, pretend this friend posts a status message of “Who’s going to Jane’s birthday party?” (innocent enough). Now, this will cause a chain reaction of friends replying “I’m going!” and Hey Presto! A predator has a possible list of people that attend the same school, where they are going to be on a certain night etc. This is just one scenario from a VERY simple and common Facebook communication between Facebook friends.
Still not convinced? You may be thinking “how would they know where the party is being held” and whatever other way you manage to palm the above example off.. Let me put it simpler for you and a little more direct (and in turn a bit more scary)…
A friend with the completely open profile or low to no security settings posts another rather innocent sounding status message of “So has everyone decided what topic they are going to choose for their school assignment?” and this will have the same domino effect of replies of “Yup, I chose farm animals” etc. Harmless enough right? WRONG! Keep in mind, the child with low security settings will more than likely have their school that they attend listed, YOUR child just answered that they are doing an assignment on farm animals.. Hey Presto! The predator now knows where your child is for approximately 6 hours a day 5 days a week.. Facebook is for children? Your children are safe? I think not!
Bottom line, you can max out all the security settings you like, but it does NOT depend on your child’s security settings, it relies on OTHER children / users security settings that are on your child’s friends list!
Still not convinced? Okie Dokie.. a child with an account with low security settings uploads photos taken at school or a birthday party etc.. Your child is contained in them. Now, everybody on this childs friends list can SEE and COMMENT on a photo containing YOUR child. How are they going to know this is my child? A simple thing called “tagging” or your child is innocently named in the comment (eg “What a silly face Jane is pulling in this photo!”).
Still don’t believe? Here is a challenge…
Start yourself up an anonymous Facebook account, do no add your child or any of their friends to your friends list and start using your childs friends list to cross reference any details you can from an anonymous perspective and see what you can discover about your child that has maxed out privacy setting on their Facebook Account… I can almost guarentee that by cross referencing your childs friends list you will be able to find out the following information..
What gender your child is and their approximate realage
Their school
Who their closest friends are
Sport clubs they belong to
Groups / Pages they are fans of
What they look like (eg photograph)
What events they are attending (birthday parties etc)
What Facebook games they play that you may be able to contact your child through…
AND MUCH MUCH MORE!
Don’t think like a parent when you do this, think like a predator because THAT is what they are doing and how they go about it! They will cross refence until they find what they want…
This is the just the beginning and the very very basics, every APP that your child uses (Farmville, YoVille etc) may contain its own instant messaging system and may not maintain the same privacy settings that Facebook itself allows… there is a reason these games are free, they are not free as such, you are just paying for it with information.
Facebook is not a place for children, and apprently not a place for naieve parents either… no offence.
WOW you talk ALOT lol this is all i heard blah d blah daaaa blah the hole time so can you try to speck English here lol do you always talk this much just asking kuz if you talk that much to your friends or famly im SOO SORRY for them so sorry people that have to lison to miss.blah d blah d blah thats your new name i like sushi im going to go get mr.blah d blah d blah u gyes can be called miss and mr. blah d blah d blah d blah d blah d blah…
In regards to my above post.. I am pleased to report that while I was browinsing the Facebook Privacy page it seems that Facebook has added some extra security settings that MAY limit some of the cross referencing techiniques that I have mentioned aboved.. provided that ‘status updates’ and ‘posts’ on other users walls are immediately restricted to “friends only”.. hopefully people will take this on board and teach their children to use this tool EVERY TIME THEY POST.. but children tend to have a habit of forgeting in the hype of using Facebook and posting away.. this is where it comes down to one thing.. CONSTANT parental supervision..
Please note.. this change has only been implemented (as far as I can see) by Facebook today.. 24 hours after my above post..
I never did answer the original question about whether or not it is ok to let children under 13 have Facebook regardless of the fact that Facebook says all users must be 13 years or older to join.. the answer? Hell no, there is way too many loop holes in Facebook, but more directly to the point, I don’t encourage people (especially young influential preteens) that is ok to actually disobey RULES and BREAK them for their own personal immediate gain.. rules are there for a reason and I don’t think teaching children that its ok to break them by telling a bold faced lie is a real good start to life.. I really didn’t think that this was something that honestly needed to be discussed.. apparently I was wrong?
What are the chances that people are going to go to all of that trouble to find out about YOUR KID? And how would they find them in the first place? In that case it would probably mean that you were being an irresponsible parent by doing this. Also, haha! News for you…
The only reason facebook has the 13 and above policy is because if your kid ran into something bad on facebook, who are you gonna blame? FACEBOOK! BINGO! Facebook doesn’t feel like parents yelling at them for something that their irresponsible little kid ran into. And anyway, it’s not facebook’s fault that people post that stuff on there! They can’t protect everything you dingbomb.
well i see we have some over-protective power hungry control freak parents in here that think a predator is waiting around every corner, WHICH THEY ARE NOT, besides you shouldn’t be worried about your kids on facebook, worry about you know things that might ACTUALLY HAPPEN such as your kids doing drugs having sex, shooting and stabbing people. i mean please if your that overprotective you don’t deserve to have kids! because they’ll go into the world not knowing how to do ANYTHING at all. and to the user complaining about facebook crashing your computer? first off facebook ha a virus FILTER and there’s an easy solution. USE A MAC
Seriously? They’ll “go into the world not knowing how to do anything at all” b/c they have to follow the RULES of a website THEY DON’T OWN AND ARE USING FOR FREE until they’re 13???!!!
I think teaching your children HONESTY and INTEGRITY are far more important.
Controlling and power hungry??? I guess because I’m teaching my children to respect rules set by others and to tell the truth they’ll be backwards and unproductive citizens right? Yeah, thats what the statistics say… You must be a kid yourself with decent parents… Poor thing.
just to let you know, i’m an eagle scout graduating with honors this year. So yeah, I’m obviously a delinquent
I have a 10 and 11 year old and i just made them faccebook accounts
they play the games and talk to family ans school friends
i have the filters up high and no one can search there profiles or add them unless they make first contact
i also keep an eye on them any time they use a computer..
if u dont want young children playing facebook
introduce them to moshi monsters… its fun for them .. learn games and can post notes to each other .
and most schools also use this programme too
I think that is great and that is what I am gonig to do with my daughter
i hate life all i do all day is text but it will get better when i tearn 7 im soo exsided but still i HATE life and yes i know YOUR 6 yes i am six my birthday is october 10 so happy i gess life has always ben hated my mom is in the hospital my gramma just died on october 6 so did my granpa my aint is in canida my uncle is in the job core my dad is dead he got in a car crash wen i was 3 my sister hates me she is always in her room my sister is 16 name skitle is my brother is 15 he is name cody my idenical twin skylar i only truly love my twin skylar all we do all day is text some times will sit on are bunk beds and text each other and no it doens not cost mony my sisters friend works there i wish i cold have a good life my mom is a drugy so was my anty im never hapy unless some one tells me they love me that has never hapen only frome my twin skysky she loves me and i love her my mom hates me more than anything i wish i can give my hole famly a big hug all of them i never had a hug befor only frome skylar she is my hole life but i dont want to have a life i HAT MY LIFE people say dont hate life now u need to be more magic and open up more tell people that they look nice and be my friend well no thats not going to happen please just some won end my dun life just end it i wont look or tell who it is just some one do it befor i do LIFE IS A HORIBL WAIST OF TIME i hate my life
so do I believe me, I mean no one likes me my mom and dad are divorced my dad is f****** stupid my step mom and my dad got divorced also my mom and my step dad are divorced now I have a stupid step step dad and a strict step step mom my mom is a little f***** over protective so yah i know what you meen