Sexting: How bad is it?
What is sexting? Are your kids doing it? Is it dangerous?
Sexting (sex + texting) is when a person sends sexually explicit photos and messages to someone else via cell phone. Some people view sexting as harmless flirting while others view it as child pornography.
Photo by Scott Sandars
The National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy and CosmoGirl.com recently conducted a survey asking teens if they are sending or posting sexually suggestive messages. The results?
39% of all teens
37% of teen girls
40% of teen boys
48% of teens say they have received such messages
The complete results can be viewed here.
The dangers of sexting
Last year, Cynthia Logan’s 18 year old daughter, Jesse, committed suicide after being harassed about nude photos she had sent to her boyfriend. After Jesse broke up with her boyfriend, he sent the images to her school peers. The embarrassment and harassment eventually led to Jesse taking her own life.
A lot of kids don’t realize the consequences of texting nude or partly nude photos. They might think the pictures and messages they send will remain private between themselves and the intended recipient or not understand that once something has been sent off into cyber space, it’s out there permanently and can come back to haunt them years down the road. Additionally, if the sext message falls into the wrong hands, it can expose the teen to online sexual predators.
The other side to sexting
Some will argue that sexting is simply a modernized twist to playing spin-the-bottle or doctor. Peter Cumming, an associate professor at York University in Toronto, argues that “such online activities are safer than traditional sexual games because there is no immediate physical contact and thus are less likely to lead to pregnancy or sexually transmitted diseases.”
Sexting – Are you concerned?
Once you understand what sexting it, the dangers seem quite obvious. The other side of the coin says that sexting is just a modern way of sexual exploration and is safer since there is no physical contact, which means no STD’s or unwanted teen pregnancies. What do you think?
Oh dont listen to these dumb lab rats. So one bad this happened to one unbalanced person. 99% of the “sexters” never experience a problem. Public histeria has gotten way out of control. People need to learn how to calm down, relax and not overreact cause some scientist does a biased study in some lab somewhere. I sometimes wonder how you “adults” have a grasp your own reality…
sexting, is actually truly harmless, like if your going to send it off to others, wouldnt the other person send it others as well, i agree that it is kinda bad and embarassing but it IS NOT child pornography, if your child wants to send that stuff, then its there problem not the parents.
how the hell is it not child pornography? And if the child wants to send the stuff thens its their problem not the parents?? You must be a kid yourself, because that is the most ridiculous statement I have ever heard.
Funny enough child services gets involved and then it is the parents problem…. They do get involved for stuff like that you know.
actually usually when its child pornography or refered to it its because its an adult looking at the pics not another child
I know! Let’s just not give kids that are under 15, (which i personally believe is the age one starts being responsible for their own actions at) cell phones. Problem solved; unless you’re a psychopathic, control freak of a parent who needs to control your kids life. You don’t NEED a cell phone until you’re at least that old anyways.
I am a girl between the ages of 12-16 an dI think girls and boys shouldnt send nudie pics of themselves, but i also think that they aint gonna get preggo im sitting on the fence i dont know
You know its lovely to see that parts are still able to demonize everything that brings children a small amount of joy. If you were able to sit down and be a real parent by having a conversation with youer children about sex than unplanned pregnancy wouldn’t be such the issue it is today.
And the predetors are out there weather you text, email or just causally surf the web. The only way to protect your children is to keep them informed and not to hide the real world from them, even worse you believe your sheltering will protect them when all it really does is leave them exposed to worse things latter in life which their not prepared for.
For shame.
JESUS HUNG WITH THE PUSHERS PEDDLERS AND PIMPS
SEX RULES!!!!!!!
Anyone spouting religious stuff on here is a fool, this topic has zero to do with your control device (sorry i mean religion). Just cause you send sext-messages does not make you immoral. The people that abstain from sex before marriage probably have the highest divorce rate, sort of like buying a car before you test drive it.
sext-messaging is no worse then doctor or spin the bottle in fact it is better since there is no physical contact. saying it will lead to physical contact is a little to broad of a statement. with that logic we should all just stop having kids cause they will eventually do something that is bad or go out and have sex or something of that sort.
the only thing that matters is education of our children, as long as they understand the repercussions of their actions then they should be allowed to do whatever they want. and if they do something they should be willing to accept what happens because of it.
also raising your kids so sheltered from everything is hurting them in the long run, and guess what telling them every worst case scenario is the same of sheltering from reality. do you think if you walk the streets of a big city you WILL be shot or mugged, no but it could happen. just like if you send someone a naked picture of yourself it could end up in places you dont want, it is a risk that if you are willing to take it then you should have already prepared yourself for the worst possible outcome.
someone killing themselves over this is a failing of the parents not a problem with sext-messaging. another person on here made a great point about the common age of sex. in times past someone would already have 3 kids and a career and a home when they were 15, in todays day in age people are starting out in the “life” later and we are keeping our children ignorant and unprepared for longer and longer, then we wonder why they lash out and go have sex at age 12 (yes you read that right, not uncommon at all)
Actually they have the lowest divorce rate.
Sext, porn etc. are immoral acts. Actually, maybe we read different bibles….
Humans are not cars. Emotional bonds keep relationships together for longer than sexual ones. Sexual bonds enhance a relationship.
We can’t compare kids of now to the past. If you haven’t realized there was a lot of morality and responsibilty. Now we just have a bunch of kids who want the benefits of being an adult without the responsibility of acting with moral standing. A good majority of the kids that “lash out” actually come from parenting backgrounds where everything is A O.K to do. As long as mom and dad talk to you about protection.
I;m 18 by the way. And I’m going to take a hard guess that your a lot older. Therefore you haven’t grown up with these “lashing out” 12 year olds.
People shouldn’t take photos of themselves nude, period! And especially sending them out is a no-no.
All right, first of all, I will state that I am a fifteen year old girl.
Now, onto the topic:
Sending sexually explicit messages does no harm. It’s simply a bit of fun and doesn’t harm anyone.
When it comes to sending nude photographs, it’s the person’s choice. It could be potentially stupid, but that’s the same with everything.
The girl killed herself because of harassment. Wow, she’s not the only one. This harassment may have been caused by a sexually explicit photo, but that’s not the only reason teenagers harass others or have been harassed to the point of suicide. Is teenagers being too short or too tall going to be illegal now? Children and teenagers are harassed for height, and it’s just called bullying. This girl, Jesse, was harassed for sending a sexually explicit picture that got out. It’s not her fault that other people seen it. That wasn’t her intention.
Now, “al” said this:
“You do not have the advantage of looking at relationships from the ideal relationship [1. two people getting to know each other well. 2. Dating for a period of time (non-sexual), 3. Getting engaged (non-sexual) - letting all concerned family and friends know of your intent to enter into a loving and committed relationship. 4.Marrying the person you want to serve for the rest of your life.(happily sexual)]”
He was adressing a seventeen year old male. Personally, I am insulted. An ideal relationship doesn’t have to involve the good old stereotype of “getting married, having children and growing old together”. That is simple blasphemy in this day and age. Saying that teenagers cannot have “ideal” relationships is simply ignorant. Teenagers can have good relationships and can feel love. Sure, their horomones might suggest lust, but that’s not always the case. We can’t let stereotypes make our decisions.
Now, I am fifteen, but is that a handicap? The comments so far would suggest that it is. Especially the way Chris was treated with disregard.
You can chose to do the same with my comments or you can pay attention and stop worshiping old ideals. Not everyone grows up to have the “ideal” relationship, because it’s no longer as “ideal” as it once was. An ideal relationship is one where both partners are happy, content, pleased, ect.
There is nothing wrong with sex and sexual acts. They are natural and should be accepted as such.
Overall, it should be the individuals choice as to whether they send sexually explicit pictures or not. It shouldn’t be the choice of the majority of adults. It should be the choice of each teenager or adult who wishes to engage in the act.
I’m 18. And thanks for the post.
It screams “we do what we think feels good for instant gratification.”
We use ideals because its what works. Humanity has already seen a time where sex was just everywhere. And that was when our intelligence/technological advancement was virtually nothing. Before we knew about disease, the benefits of a family and farming.
“Overall, it should be the individuals choice as to whether they send sexually explicit pictures or not. It shouldn’t be the choice of the majority of adults. It should be the choice of each teenager or adult who wishes to engage in the act. ”
^ I completely agree with you there (unless the parent is paying for it.) But that said doesn’t make the act right.
So, since sex is so natural…. Are you telling me if a 12 yr old decides to have sex because they are in a relationship and they are both happy, content, pleased, etc that they should definitely go a head and have sex together? If so I suggest you wait till your older before making a statement like that. I garuantee you may feel differently.
If that is your ideal relationship where you are pleased, happy, content etc then you got alot to learn. Sure, those are good factors, but having a good strong relationship takes alot of work. Who said anything about old ways and marriage? Even to live common law, or to have a long term relationship I think they are the same as being married, the feelings, the fact that you need to constantly work on your relationship and keep it strong and solid are all the same.. Whether its long term, married, common law etc. So, a marriage license doesn’t change any thing.
but sex is natural and if 2 12 year olds have hit puberty and think they are ready then why not? as long as they talk about it before hand and realize the risks then that is there own choice (knowing the risks is the parents responsability) and we shouldnt try to say no just because we dont THINK they are mature enuff
So, since sex is so natural…. Are you telling me if a 12 yr old decides to have sex because they are in a relationship and they are both happy, content, pleased, etc that they should definitely go a head and have sex together? If so I suggest you wait till your older before making a statement like that. I garuantee you may feel differently.
If that is your ideal relationship where you are pleased, happy, content etc then you got alot to learn. Sure, those are good factors, but having a good strong relationship takes alot of work. Who said anything about old ways and marriage? Even to live common law, or to have a long term relationship I think they are the same as being married, the feelings, the fact that you need to constantly work on your relationship and keep it strong and solid are all the same.. Whether its long term, married, common law etc. So, a marriage license doesn’t change any thing.
Kids losing their innocence so young makes me sad. I recently saw a talk show about this issue and most of the girls said “If I was pretty I wouldn’t have to sext, it’s the only way boys will notice me”. So untrue and so sad. If they don’t look like the girls on tv or in magazines they think no boy will like them. Teenagers are too young to deal with all the emotions and responsibilities that come with sex, I don’t care what ANYONE says. They are also too young to comprehend the dangers of sending out explicit images of themselves. A girl in the town I’m from took some private photos for her boyfriend. They ended up Xeroxed and hanging in every mechanic shop in town. I do believe that kids can be raised to be confident in themselves and not be afraid to stand up for what they are or aren’t comfortable with. I agree that kids need, to some degree, to make mistakes on their own but this is just too much too soon, and the price is far too steep for them to pay.
i totally agree, us teens/kids should wait to have sex with someone we love, and i think that no one should take pics of themselves naked and send them to someone else, i just think that is kinda stupid.
Also, i think porn is stupid. And i know that a lot of people with think im a freak for saying that but i dont care, i personally think that porn is just stupid. You shouldnt be able to just go to a website and look at people naked.
Me and people i know dont plan on having sex until we are atleast 18, ya sure we may get tempted and everything (everyone has hormones unfortunantley). And i know people my age and people younger than me who have had sex and even gotten pregnant, more than once!!! so, i think everyone should wait to have sex with someone they/you love.
So, altogether…
sexting is stupid
having sex way too young is stupid
and porn is stupid
from the perspective of a 14 year old girl
i hate it when people refer to it as losing there innocence because there are a lot more ways to lose your innocence and who said haveing sex instantly made you lose your innocence because teens who have sex have probably already lost it thru other activitys
Im a 15 and i dont think i have done any sexting ive had acouple of playfull joking messages that related to something sexual, but it wasnt anything directly towards us. People are pushing it abit to far, i know what it is and ive seen some peoples text messages, its rare you get pictures via cell phone its mostly all in text. most of the pictures are usually shown through IM [Instant messaging(msn,aim,skype,yahoo, etc…)
Its different everywhere but i know alot of people and its not like we dont talk about sexting. we all hear about it and we share info on it, but its not like “oh so and so was sexting with so and so or was sexting with me” its things like what the media is saying and how alot of it is false.
the survey, how many teens took it? what are the areas in the world most results came from? should put that on here too. you need to give us alot more information.
and Doctor cumming… most teens will laugh at that.
(and fyi for anyone who doesnt know, cumming is another word for ejaculating)
its is a big deal to send nude photos of ur self. it shows u have zero self respect. it might seem harmless now but when something big happens…
and remember emotions make fools out of all of us (break-ups r UGLY), so its better to stop things like this NOW than regret it later.
Dumb f’n parents and people… Why does your child/teen need a phone that takes pictures and video? Why are YOU, as the parent not monitoring what phone time and usage your kids are using?!?! Cell phones should be used on an emergency base only, not to socialize with their friends whenever they want. Idle hands are the devil’s workshop. Simply stated. Sex no-a-days is sluffed off as “normal”. Oddly enough, having babies, by babies is still difficult and not “normal”. Good luck for those of you who have kids/teens who run their cell phone bills each month and do what they want with them.
I totally agree!! Even if they have their own job parents generally have to sign if they are under the age of 18 there for can monitor the plan and make sure its a simple basic plan for emergency uses.
I’m with J. I completely agree. Denying fact, research and science will not make it true. I mean a lot of people who don’t beleive in God talk a lot about science and religion and what not. But when you give them hard facts about love, relationship and life. Suddenly science and research no longer mean anything.
And you can make fun all you want I really don’t care. I actually feel sorry for you. If your too thick headed to realize the school bully was never cool and never will be then that’s your own deficiency.
We are seriously heaidng to a path of nothingness. I mean people are made fun of for having a morals about anything that gives society instant satisfaction and makes them feel good. Just cause it feels good doesn’t mean its always right and can always be justified.
I believe that our children are already publicly exposed to sexually explicit pics of celebs, movies even cartoons, etc. I do believe that children who do send there nakied pics by sexting or in any other cyber form are looking for trouble, having said that there are lots of stupid things done by kids that are more than likely to get them into trouble like drugs, alcohol etc.
I believe that flirting by sexting is better (not that I agree with sexting, never done it never will) than doing so by dressing unapropriately and attracting bad attention. These days kids ,litteraly, are having sex at such an early age that its frightening to think about.
I have an 8 yr old son (who does not have older siblings)who already came home from school talking about girls in his class wanting to have sex with boys from his school!! When I was 8 which wasn’t THAT long ago, I thought about playing outside with my friends etc. not SEX or any form of it!!
I believe that it is no longer in our hands, it’s the society we live in, the television programs we watch (even the stupid comercials) and we can only control it by educating our kids. You can’t stop it, can’t prevent it, hope is what we have left. Teaching them about action and consequence! It’s what we have to do!
So does it realy matter what we think!?!…..In my opinion we led to this
yeah, everyone is like presured to have sex, look pretty, be popular and whatev. And like 6 years ago when i was 8, i knew what sex was and everything, but i didnt go around talking about it with my friends and stuff, and so that is pretty sad about ur son knowing girls who want to have sex THAT YOUNG.
not everyone is pressured to have sex… actually i dont know any1 in real life that is / has been and btw i was talking about sex to my friends at 8 because it was something new and we shared info we got from our parents who gave us “the talk” and i think that that is perfectly normal
One of the strong differences between this and actual activity is that the former can be permanently stored and brought against the sender in the future.
Sure, kids should be allowed to experiment and make mistakes, but doing it in such a self-incriminating manner can come back to bite! I’m not sure if teens realize just what kind of risky business doing stuff like this entails!
I’m 19 and I do sexting. As long as you just text with no pictures it’s not as harmful as you parents think. I’m well aware of what can happen after you break up with the person. Kids now a days are very trusting with their boyfriend/girlfriend and dont think that they would do anything like send out pictures. It all depends on the person, but I think that sexting is being blown way out of propotion. Just tell your kids not to send pictures and let them sext cause they might just have sex instead if not.
Yeah,like, What are ya gonna do? Ban kids from their cellphones?
If it’s wrong,were still going to do it. It’s The Way Kids Are.
heheh… Peter’s Cumming…
Well, let me say that really? Come on people. Some would say that this is the modern version of “show me yours, I’ll show you mine”. Others would say it is wrong and disgusting. But either way, PARENTS educate your kids, and KIDS, really think before you do. Every action has a consequence and if you are not prepared to handle them, then you should not do it.
And finally CELL COMPANIES, yes a buck is a buck, but really you should implement some sort of filter for what is sent out there for people under 18. Yes it is an invasion of privacy, but I am talking only photos here, not the words. In this case it is a good invasion, we need to protect the youth from themselves. They think they know it all, but we all did at those ages now didn’t we?
If the phone companies are filtering photos passed through their networks then that means they would need someone to manually filter each photo and if any were of a pedophilic nature then congratulations because whoever it is just saw yours or someone elses kid in a risque situation. Also you would have no idea if that person was a pedophile or not or if they were saving the images and uploading them onto the internet or taking them home to ‘enjoy’.
obviously they would have background checks like they do for almost every job that involves kids. my girlfriends mom had to have a background check for voulenteering with brownies :L so i would highly doubt that they would just hire anyone without a background check
i agree :) and id just like to add. if they are prepared to handle the consequences then why not?
That guys last name is cumming!
Of course he would say something like that.