Sexting: How bad is it?
What is sexting? Are your kids doing it? Is it dangerous?
Sexting (sex + texting) is when a person sends sexually explicit photos and messages to someone else via cell phone. Some people view sexting as harmless flirting while others view it as child pornography.
Photo by Scott Sandars
The National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy and CosmoGirl.com recently conducted a survey asking teens if they are sending or posting sexually suggestive messages. The results?
39% of all teens
37% of teen girls
40% of teen boys
48% of teens say they have received such messages
The complete results can be viewed here.
The dangers of sexting
Last year, Cynthia Logan’s 18 year old daughter, Jesse, committed suicide after being harassed about nude photos she had sent to her boyfriend. After Jesse broke up with her boyfriend, he sent the images to her school peers. The embarrassment and harassment eventually led to Jesse taking her own life.
A lot of kids don’t realize the consequences of texting nude or partly nude photos. They might think the pictures and messages they send will remain private between themselves and the intended recipient or not understand that once something has been sent off into cyber space, it’s out there permanently and can come back to haunt them years down the road. Additionally, if the sext message falls into the wrong hands, it can expose the teen to online sexual predators.
The other side to sexting
Some will argue that sexting is simply a modernized twist to playing spin-the-bottle or doctor. Peter Cumming, an associate professor at York University in Toronto, argues that “such online activities are safer than traditional sexual games because there is no immediate physical contact and thus are less likely to lead to pregnancy or sexually transmitted diseases.”
Sexting – Are you concerned?
Once you understand what sexting it, the dangers seem quite obvious. The other side of the coin says that sexting is just a modern way of sexual exploration and is safer since there is no physical contact, which means no STD’s or unwanted teen pregnancies. What do you think?
Filed Under: General > Social Media > Tech Explained
Tags: dangers of sexting, sexting, sexting teens, what is sexting
Dr. Peter Cummings–are you serious? Sexting is the equivalent of sending out pornographic images of yourself on the computer. And as a society, we deem kids who do that troubled, and the adults who look at it even moreso. But what matters is that once it’s out there, it’s out there–you can’t take it back. You can never get every single copy of said picture back in your possession, and once it’s been seen, it’s been seen. The whole thing is pretty dumb if you ask me.
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i concer =]
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Um, Dev? You spelled ‘concure’ wrong. Just to let you know.
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C-O-N-C-U-R, dumb-ass.
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your all dumb asses
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Concur; 1. to accord in opinion; agree: Do you concur with his statement?
2. to cooperate; work together; combine; be associated: Members of both parties concurred.
Concer; Not a freaking word.
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I am not sure what the spelling of the word concur has to do with the issue….
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I think your right and its a very sick way for communications and its a great way for the devil to get into the young minds of our adults.. what a sick world we live in to lets this even happen.
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why does god have to be brought into everything?!?!?!?! srsly im sick of it in my class we were talking about the plauge in europe in mideval times and some chick in my class brought up the mythical plauge of egypt! she said “there was a plauge in egypt too that god sent unto the egyptians to punish them for there sins”. like i said im sick of it! to a lot of us the devil dosnt even exist so plz stick to FACTS when arguing not IDEAS. you dont see me bringing budah into everything do you? i mite not b budist but i respect budists alot more than christians cuz they dont use him as a scapegoat and bring him up all the time. btw if you think a majority of the world is christian ur rong now days more ppl think aliens are real then god/satan. >:( srry for my rant there it just rlly pisses me off that they shove that in our faces :L
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seriously if it gets brought up in every aspect of your life you should maybe consider it to be true
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If you do not see the proofs of Satan’s existence around you it does not mean he does not exist.
It means he is much smarter than you. Do not feel bad thou, he is much smarter than majority of the people. That’s why this world is the way it is.
Believe me you will find his works more in places full of the names of God and Jesus than in strip bars and casinos.
There are ways to find out the ways he is working,
but I bet you would not be interested “cuz” you think you already know everything.
So is 99.9% of the rest of the world.
Who am I to know? You would not believe if I told you.
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@walter so your saying that if i convert to christian i get a box of intellegance in the mail?
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That would be easy.
You do not have to convert to anything.
Christian, Buddist, Moslem, Engineer, Doctor, Minister, President – those are just human titles that matter to us and other people here on Earth.
What’s left after is what’s in your heart.
Do you want to be left with confusion, uncertainty, anger, rebellion in your heart?
Stop looking at life through other people’s opinions, religious doctrines, bits and pieces of information. Life is so overwhelming that we take thousands of “snapshots” a day from our surroundings and then we come to conclusions. Unfortunately, conclusions are illusions and on those illusions we built our picture of this world.
Are you ready to stop this cycle? Do you think there is more to life than life itself? Did you reach the point that you want to reach for more knowledge instead of questioning and having doubts about what you already know? I cannot give you “box of intelligence” but I can tell you where to start on your way in the search for the truth. Are you ready for it? I am not smarter than anybody else including you, but I do not like to be lied to and be deceived, that’s why one day I started my journey of the search for the truth. Before you start giving opinions about anything you have to become an expert. I gave you an example: you expressed your opinion about Christianity, God, Satan, having minimum or no knowledge about those subjects.
I study the Bible, history of the church, various denominations and religions. I gained the knowledge of the “big picture” of what’s going on concerning those subjects. I can tell you what’s wrong with many things. I can tell you 99.9% people have no idea what’s going on “behind the scenes” in every day life. Does it mean I know everything? No, but I am much wiser now. Do you want to continue in your world of illusions, or you are ready to open your eyes? I get responses to this comments in my mail box so I will know when you answer.
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@walter im not looking at the world thru others opinions im looking at it thru my own and im tired of ppl trying to tell me to look thru theres (christianity) and could you please explain more about conclusions being equal to illusions? (haha that rhymed
) also when your talking about illusions and such it sounds to me like your talking about christianity (read that bit again with that in mind 
) no i dont think theres more to life then life because unlike illusions=conclusions life does = life. my search for the truth started when i was first told about christanity i thought about that possible begining and then thought about how TBBT measured up to it and chose TBBT because it was based on mathmatical formulas rather then what 1 guy said 2009 years ago. not to say that one man wasnt a great man he was jesus was a great man. but i dont agree with wat he preached. i actually have a DECENT i didnt say good but decent understanding of the bible i used to read the childrens bible when i was little and like i said before EVERYONE brings it up and spouts something. i have been on enough of these comment box/ forum things to have a pretty good understanding on how technological christans think (for the most part) i respect your humble-ness and all and you are my fav online christan but still… and i know whats going on behind the scenes from a scientific point of view, you know whats going on behind the scenes from a spiritual point of view. can we just agree to disagree?
“we have no proof there is anysuch thing as an afterlife. We also have no proof that we simply rot in the ground as a memorie of our mortality”
14 year old boy~
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Conquer.
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its concur dummy
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I do not concur with your spelling =]
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Sigh, another product of modern society, kids who can’t spell. Sir, the word is ‘concure’.
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ok this is pissing me off i dont think that the ‘SEXTING’ topic
was meant to have like 30 posts that say stuff about the Word
CONCUR!!!!!!! Honestlyy MY GOD!!!
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roflcopter agreed
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I could not agree more. While what children do is often harmless or innocent, what an adult with tech knowledge can do is another issue.
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Completely agree with toby here. This is mass child pornography being distributed and the potential for harm is enormous if in the wrong hands.
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Where is anything said about having some self-respect. does everything, young and/or old need to be explicit or sexual? I would put in Dr. Peter, but doctors are supposed to help people, so peter cummings, are you into this sexting stuff? You are promoting it by “saying” it is safe. I have kids and would wonder if this Peter does. Is this an answer he would give to his kids? Give your head a shake, no wonder we have so many problems, our Doctors are even promoting this crap as “safe”!
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He is clearly not a DOCTOR that you’re going to go to when you’re sick…hes a professional with a PhD most likely in a field of psychology.
His job is not necessarily to help people but, if in a psychological field, to study what they think…
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Tarrah! Are you serious, your taking this way out of context. First of all, it is very simple, raise your kids right! If you can’t then dont replace good parenting will money and cellphones! And as far as once it has been seen it has been seen! ……..It is a body? when the hell did the human body become such a bad thing to be seen? I dont get it, a body is a body, I think this world and some people just have to much to say, and too much say.
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It is dangerous no matter how you look at it. once on the computer the dangers are even more .
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Now I may be way off base here but I think that most sexting is done between boyfriend/girlfriend and with no guns to there heads to do it.And I’m pretty sure that most kids know the repprecusions of what they are doing.If I send a pic on my cellphone to someoneI’m not just going to make up a phone # and send it it will be to someone I know.And you do so thinking that the one you sent it to is not going to show it around.If he/she does then you can’t control it but you know when you click send that anything could happen.As far as jesse taking her life that is an exteme case and you can’t judge what happened to her to every other person doing it.I guess if you want to light a smoke when you are gassing up yor lawn mower don’t bitch about getting burnt when it explodes is the best way I can say it.
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That is the most intelligent comment on this entire thing.
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WHO FRIGGIN’ CARES. JUST WAIT TIL’ YOUR 18 AND YOU CAN DO THE REAL THING WIHT NO HASTLE. A.K.A BANG GIRLS AND BOYS ALL DAY IF YOU “MUST”. BUT SERIOUSLY ITS ALL ABOUT ABSTENENCE. IF YOU HAD TO WAIT ALL YOUR LIFE SO FAR TO HAVE INTERCOURSE. IT WOULDNT KILL YA TO WAIT A FEW MORE FREAKIN’ YEARS.
DATS ALL THER IS TO IT.
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its easier to wait without hormons -_- just pointing that out
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The reason sex is such a topic of contention in our society is because of the shame attached to it. A nude body, no matter the age is not something which should cause shame. The only reason that teenagers are engaging in this behaviour is because it’s “wrong” according to the social moorings that we’ve created. **NEWSFLASH** Teens rebel. When you contrast this with the fact that the porn industry is increasingly mainstream, you create an accessible avenue that’s “wrong”. Very disorienting mixed message. The perfect combination for unwise teen behaviour. Kind of like alcohol, marijuana, OTC cough medicine…
Until our society stops using the fear tactic, teenagers will make unwise decisions. Fear may work on 40-year-old mothers, but it doesn’t work on their children. Those who look down their nose at teenagers trying to understand their sexuality, and castigate them for making wrong choices are only making the problem worse.
Whatever happened to honest conversation? That girl who committed suicide would have most definitely benefited from a calm, understanding sex talk from a respected adult. You can make a teenager, or pre-teenager understand risks without scaring them, or teaming up on them in an internet forum.
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now i agree with you except for the part about the “only” reason bit there. sometimes that isnt the reason at all unless im making it sub-conciously.
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Can’t take back pregnancy or STDs either… though i don’t fully agree with him because i think this is used as a first step towards doing it in person.
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as an earlier poster said “most of the time this is to ” prolong”from the final moment” (i didnt put prolong in quotes cuz im not sure thats the word s/he used)
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hey every one as a young man i think i can see whats going on here i think being dirty with your phone is abad idea and let me tell you why i have seen photos online of girls self shots and the truth is that once one person has them whether you want them to or not they will get on the internet computers are not secure in anyway and any file can be found by an outside party. however i think sending dirty messages via txt is a great idea it can excite your partner intreague some one you want to get to know better ect but taking photos is the worst idea. now web camm lol tell your kids that webcam aslong as its not recorded is gone as soon as its over and no one can find and distribute it after. so have fun dont worry to much everyone needs to explore their sexuality and find out about themselfs. attacking anything your kids do nomatter how wrong you feel it is will only cause them to be more secretive so tell them that you know they are curious and exploring themselfs but to make sure thay stay safe. never make anything that could have a picture of you or your name address or other important info in it as it WILL lead to problems. just make sure they know thay sex isnt bad but bad things can happen because of it. have fun and stay safe.
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Sure, it’s silly. But if they get a kick out of it, why does how dumb it is matter?
A couple years ago I stumbled upon my fathers nude pictures of my mother and his girlfriend at the time. People have been doing this for a long time – but suddenly because a girl can’t live with her mistakes, it’s wrong?
People should be able to do what they want, freely. It doesn’t effect anyone else. Maybe instead we should better educate people on these things, and possibly establish a bit of etiquette when someone sends it to you or you see someones nude pictures.
And to Wendy. What causes teen pregnancy isn’t sexting, it’s your lack of proper sexual education.
If they are going to send nude pictures of themselves, and have sex afterward.. I don’t think sexting is an important part. They’ll have sex anyway.
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i agree with you but i have to ask: exactly how did you react when you found nude pics of your mom…. *barfs*
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Its doesn’t matter what we think really, kids will do what they want whether we approve or not, that’s whats wrong with the world parents have stopped caring because things like weed and crack are more important.
Seriously a lot of parents need to stop living in the past becasuse this is what happens when you don’t spend time with your children.
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Dr. Peter Cummings xD…cumming…hehe
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lol he would right something about something dirty with that name
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i believe that if u are willing to participate in sexting u should first be a mature teen and well aware of the consiquences. if u are ready to handle the pressure and embaressment that comes along if the photoes or messages get out then by all means do as u please. i am a current sexter and i am 18 years old. ive been sexting since i was 15yrs of age and was well aware of the dangers. i also only did this with pepol whom i absolutly trust. parents should keep an eye on what there children do on thier phone. it has never come back to haunt me yet but it just might in the future and i am ready to handle the results. but that does not make it safe for younger teens. even though there is no sexual contact, it can arouse the feeling for it, therefor making teens want to go out and commit sexual activities with the recipients or otherwise. parent pleas moniter your childrens behavior
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tarrah, the text messages don’t always have to be between child and adult, two teens are likley to exchange photos or text messages. intimate between the two, it no longer matters that the photo has been seen. it is at your own risk to send the photo in the first place, and i agree that it is safer than engaging in physical/ sexual activities because there are less chances of it leading to mistakes. if the reciever of the sexual message decides to share the photo, there is obviously no trust between the reciver and sender. it is not always bad, but then again, its also not always good.
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gotta edit your comment “there is obviously no trust between” etc etc it should be there obviously SHOULDNT be trust between
spelling/grammer nazis…. UNITE! rofl
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are *you* serious? truth is no one cares. kids and anyone anywhere are always going to exploit any means they have of having fun with the opposite sex. honestly? yeah ive ’sexted’ and almost *never* with pictures. never before i was 18 anyways. i think its just a matter of people maturing up and realising *everyone* has a sex life? its not some big deal anymore. get over it. leave kids alone. if you keep finding dangers in *everything* they do your going to drive them nuts. omg! their teen girlfriend/boyfriend and them text eachother dirty messages?! oh jesus! truth is that doctor is right. the most dangerous part of sexual activities are the diseases that may come with it. instead of teaching your kids to pick on people for the things they do in private, dirty texting for example? teach them to accept people for who they are and what they do and *not* tease them or make fun of them. i think people are looking at this from the wrong side of the coin. teach your kids how not to be made fun of! instead of.. teach your kids NOT to make fun of people for being different? if kids knew their friends wouldnt care if they went omg look at the picture this girl/guy sent me.. no one would bother showing it to people if they didnt think they would get a reaction out of kids. stop taking things away from them and just teach them how to respect eachother.
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brilliant ” teach your kids how not to be made fun of! instead of.. teach your kids NOT to make fun of people for being different? ” just brilliant
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wow, I wonder what Cumming would think if his teenage daughter was sending sexually explicit photos and/or photos performing deviant acts to her BFs…. and better yet, they got out and ended up in the hands of 50 yr sexually deranged predatory psychopaths who then have a new target.
Good on you Cummings… hope you can sleep at night.
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Wow- First of all- the teens that are sending these messages are not sending them to adults- it’s to their friends or significant other- not advertising themselves-
Teens nowadays are way more aware of their sexuality that us older adults were- because they get more information- much of it actually good-
They see sexual situations on TV and it makes them think about how they would react or deal with certain situations-
Teens are not stupid-
Conservative North Americans still see sex as some taboo thing- it – as is nudity- is a very natural thing. People are supposed to have sex. It’s kind of important and people will learn about sex as they do other things.
IF there are people out there somehow taking advantage of this and doing inappropriate things- they would be doing inappropriatethings no matter what- with or without sexting- but- the general population should be bright enough to figure out this is teens [like always] pushing a few boundaries and finding themselves and their personal limits-
Just a few thoughts-
D
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It’s not like teens are sending nudes to everyone they know.. mostly to boyfriends/girlfriends in distant relationships. Since they can’t see each other in real life, they give them a “preview” you could say =P
True that once you send it, its out there. But your not posting it on facebook or myspace. The only person/people that can see it is who you send it too.. and who that person sends it to. Trust is the big key here. If your sending nudes to someone you don’t trust, you shouldn’t be doing it =)
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At the same time however, once you enter a physical relationship, or a sexual relationship, how much of that can you really get back? For example your virginity. One thing you can never get back. I agree, the whole “sexting” thing is ridiculous, and teens have taken technology to a whole new level. I just wish young girls especially would hold to their morals and find a little more self respect. This is what we should be teaching this generation. Self worth and self respect.
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Is there a point to your comment?
Are you disagreeing by agreeing with his statements?
Please re-read the article carefully.
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look the way i see it is if you put out naked photos of yourself your an idiot how ever i see no harm in overly graphic or overly flirty text messages they’re really just a safe way for this generation of teens to get in touch with/explore their sexuality
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I agree with Tarrah and would like to add that sexually explicit images tend to lead to sexual activity. Once someone has seen you naked it’s not much of a stretch to show yourself to them in the flesh.It is also a tease which can lead to sexual agression if you don’t follow through. I mean why show someone your sexual parts if you don’t want to or aren’t ready to have sex with them? The other part that is concerning is that images can be altered, zoomed in on, expanded etc. It’s already bad enough that someone would tell others about a sexual encounter with you, let alone show pictures to prove it. This theory about a safe way to play “doctor” is absurd.
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I agree, I’m a teen and I think it’s stupid. Plus, in the United States teens have been charged with possession of child pornography. They argue it isn’t, but the nature of some of these images are explicit, and the people in these photos are under the legal age of adulthood, so therefore, this is child pornography
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I agree with Tarrah. Parents need to start getting involved with their children and know what they are up to. We are to permissive.
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Sending sex-pictures means that the sender wants to commit sexual acts. Sending such pictures is an ‘in between’ outlet, between sex acts. They are demeaning, provoke, seduce. Scandalous. That a ‘doctor’ says “it’s not so bad”, makes one wonder what he is as a ‘doctor’. Sending such pictures is evil. Do we need more broken up families ? More children with only a father or a mother ? What culture ever did not go downhill with promicuous behavior ? Is that where your pleasure lies ? Don’t you know the value of chastity, where sex is kept in its proper domain ? Learn about the joys of decent living,for yourself, your friend.
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I agree that sending exposing pictures using txt messaging is wrong and is not appropriate. I would never send a txt with a personal picture of me on it to another person let alone take the picture. Other teens that do these kind of things, should really think about what they are doing, it basically sending porn of yourself to another person, and that person who recieves it can send it or show the picture to any one else they choose. It’s just not smart. For just the texting part I’m split for that. If all your doing is texting sexual or flirtatious text messages I guess you can argue that it’s better than playing spin the bottle or seven minutes in heaven which is even worse than spin the bottle. The texting part is safer than those other two sexual games because your not actually doing anything physical. BUT, I wouldn’t do it, I still find it wrong and would not do such a thing. If I wouldn’t play either of those games then why would I text message such things to someone else. Just like the photos, the person can forward your txt or show toher your detailed txt and then it’s just as bad as a picture. So if you wouldn’t show your parent(s)/guardian(s) or even the cops the texts or picture, then don’t take the picture or type the text message. It’s plain and simple. My parents told me if I would never tell them or show them about what I’m doing then maybe it’s not the right thing to do, I’ll leave it at that.
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you take things to seriously its just a way for a young couple to
learn new things about each other the picture part i understand but
the texting your taking it to far young couples need to learn how to be intimate or they will have an awekward time adjusting i think your too
old to realise this because cellphone technology is still fairly new
atleast for ppl above 30
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People (no names mentioned) who think these activities are harmless have psychological problems and probably do it themselves. It’s an excuse for them.
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Gee Tarrah, you seem to understand the risks better than the professor from York Univeristy!
I’d say “While at 1st glance, it may look like it’s safer, because the traditional risks seem less likely, there is a whole new set of risks, with potentially enormous negative impact”
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Now we know the level and quality of education York University offers.
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Really, sexting isn’t that bad as long as it doesn’t go to the wrong people. I sort of agree with Dr. Cummings. It is a LOT safer than actually going out and having sex. A friend of mine is a doctor, and he says that 98% of my area that is sexually active have some sort of STD, and sexting will produce no disease. But I understand your view too. I think that teens should keep it on the down low, or even better just keep what they have in their pants/shirts. Sexting being illegal is stupid in my opinion, and only if a picture of a minor appears on an adults phone should count as soliciting child pornography or whatever it should be called.
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People view a lot of things as harmless in this day and age, that in mine common-sense and decency says other wise. These so called innocent acts lead to more and more and even more not so innocent acts. Where even innocent by standers become victims of lewdness and degenerate mind sets.
What this immoral Professor does not seem to grasp, is that when people are given an inch they do tend to take a mile ergo sexting does lead to STD’s and teenage pregnancy. Dr. Cummings may just have answered the question.
(How dumb can you be and still breathe). There is also the fact that acts like this lead to low self-esteem on the part of the participants. (Yes – even the boys).
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cell phones run on a microwave frequency so giving your kid a cell phone is like giving them brain cancer
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No, cell phones really don’t run on microwave freqs. In fact they
are considerably lower on the electro-magnetic spectrum then that.
Besides, and this is the best part…everything causes Cancer now.
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Yeah well I think your wrong….. yes everything causes cancer but have you ever heard that noise when you receive a text message or phone call while using the computer? Well I have and trust me its gotta be pretty bad… No it might not be microwave frequencies but whatever type of signal they use is very strong for me to hear it….
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I know what you mean,
everytime i have my cell phone with me and im on the computer, the screen goes all weird and then theres a weird noise, and after that, then my phone goes off to my ringtone.
So i always keep my cell phone AWAY from the computer just incase its not safe.
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Actually, it has been proven that cell phones DO NOT cause cancer seen a study that was published on it not too long ago.
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I love when people write about aomething they have absolutely no knowledge about. Not at all.
Everyone has an opinion – even if it is completely uninformed.
Just for background. I have been dealing with radio frequency energy for most of my life….and am authorized by Industry Canada to administer radio license examinations in several services. In other words I teach the theory AND the practical.
Dave – cell phones DO operate on the “old” microwave oven frequencies eg: 800 Mhz.
But it is Jenn who displays the utter complete lack of knowledge about everything radio-related.
Jenn – it is all about power density. A microwave operated at extremely close range at power levels like 750 to 1,000 watts, with the power focused….giving an ERP (effective radiated power) of roughly 5,000 to 10,000 watts.
A portable cellphone operates at a maximum of 600 milliwatts (roughly omni-directional). That works out to less than half a watt at maximum.
Yes, it will heat tissue in the area – NOT IRRADIATE. Heat does not cause cancer last time I checked. The amount it would heat tissue in the brain might be about 1/100th of the amount of brain heating that would occur by stepping out into the outdoors on a cloudy summer day without a hat. Maybe we should protect ourselves from that too!
Those are the FACTS.
As soon as the cellphone is taken away from the head, as in texting, that tiny danger is also removed.
To heat the brain to a dangerous level sufficient to cause a brain cell or two to become overheated would require several decades of continous use (without even a moment’s break to allow cooling.)
I would venture to say that the pollutants you spew from your car just starting it….would do far more damage to your children if they are within several dozen metres.
Instead of trying scare mongering on a subject about which you obviously have no knowledge about whatsoever – stick to the subject – which is sexting or the content of the messages sent and recieved.
Or perhaps you should be banned from a computer….a wifi connection also generates radio frequency waves…with generally a higher density factor per metre that a portable cellphone. (Because of the higher frequency).
Think about THAT!
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If I put my cell phone next to my husbands electric shaver and then recieve a text message or phone call (or even when it randomly sends out signals to update) it turns on the electric shaver.
They don’t even have to be touching. we got them about 6 inches apart and it would still turn on the shaver. I use my cell phone so much more less since that happened!
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Unless you’re a cat – they are able to “hear” electric current as it travels, FYI – the noise you hear when you get a text message is called the “ringer”. Human beings cannot hear such transmissions.
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Yes they do, Microwave ovens operate at 2.45Ghz (the resonant frequency of water molecules)with 1000 or so watts of power while the cdma/gsm cell phones operate in the same band, they use approx 600miliwatts of output power.
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I have been working in the wireless industry for almost 10 years, just so you know…North American Cellular technology GSM & CDMA run on 850/1900MHz the send and receive on both bands. some 3G networks are now 2100MHz. Your Microwave oven operate at 2.4GHz and so do cordless phones, Wi-Fi networks and some zig bee.
GPS frequency is 1575MHz and only receives signals, GPS receivers require a radio (cellular, wi-fi, sat…etc) in order to transmit data.
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Stupid people…cell phones operate in the 800 – 900 Mhz range. Don’t you know your radio spectrum.
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aha not to make you seem like an idiot but in my brand new science text book it says that cell phones dont use microwave frequinces
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You don’t have to be so rude about it!Now do you?
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Cellular frequency are around 2.4GHZ and it is EXACTLY the same frequency ( radio frequency, nothing to do with electro-magnetic) as a microwave! Same for in house cordless phone and bluetooth devices! Now, would you put your head inside a 800Watts microwave for five seconds? Well even if cell phones are transmitting in the milliwatts range we (including myself I have to admit… we are so dependant) we use those nice little devices in an average of what…? couple hours per day! One year scale and life scale… you can do the Math.
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you are wrong microwave radiation is less harmful then that of a light bulb get your facts straight
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OFF topic arn’t we
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To anyone who disputes that cell phones can increase cancer risk:
“In conclusion this meta-analysis gave a consistent pattern of an association between mobile phone use and ipsilateral glioma and acoustic neuroma using ≥10-years latency period. [...] These results [...] further strengthen the hypothesis of a carcinogenic effect from microwave emissions from mobile phones.”
- INTERNATIONAL JOURNAL OF ONCOLOGY 32: 1097-1103, 2008
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IDIOT
Lots off things run on microwave technology. Think before you open your uninformed mouth. A lot more powerful than cewll phones are aircraft guidance and navigation computers, home telephones and tlevision sets, GPS units, computer wireless networks. The list is endless. By your way of thinking, every one in the world shoud have cancer because of microwaves. Try a bit of education before you speak next time.
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Everyone in the world dosen’t have a microwave. I think you can safely put it around 85% for a microwaveless (and for the majority, cancerless) world.
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Aren’t we getting away from the real issue here!?
Name calling isn’t going to help these kids and acting like you’re in junior high won’t speed up the process either.
Whether or not cell phones are harmfull, kids (and most adults) are still using them! So what can we do about it?!
Online arguements rarely help.
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You actually should think before you speak. You can’t even spell cell right.
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You see most of the people around the world don’t even have microwaves or know that they real
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you just owned
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you are stupid for saying that
the amount of microwaves present are inconsequential
microwaves are going through your head right now as we speak everything sends information out through the air, if you want to be protected from it, wear a metal pot on your head for the rest of your life
that was a stupid comment you made and a waste of space
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To: jod dave JamminJenn T Squared get it right Rick brent
I think you guys are a bunch of losers. This forum is not for discussing Microwaves.
Have you guys not read the article above?
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This subject thread is supposed to be about the young girl who committed suicide!! What the hell does microwaves have to do with bullying? You redneck Americans never cease to amaze me with your stupidity. No wonder the rest of the world has a hate-on for you.
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Yeah but Cancer is becomming more and more frequent as well. including different and new types. But you are right though, radiowaves are crossing every part of our body on a 365/365 7/7 24/24 basis and study are controversal. But the ones ending with an happy ending are always paid by the ones that have the more intere$t it stays that way…
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Uh, what does this all have to do with the article?
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Well, obviously, if you taught your child well enough… they woulnt over use the purpose. And not all teens are stupid and unresponsible. Gosh! not cool having bias over everyone my age because there is some stupid kids out there! And me, being a teen and all, have used my cell in very important situations! They make mee feel very safe! So you should keep your own, STUPID opinions to yourself!
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GOOD TO HEAR SOMEONE THE AGE MENTIONED STANDING UP!!! THE DECISIONS MADE BY A STUPID FEW EFFECTS THE REST!!! NOT ALL TEENS ARE PARTICIPATING IN SAID EVENTS YET THEY ARE BEING BLAMED FOR MISTAKES MADE BY FEW!!! QUIT BLAMING ALL WHEN ONLY A FEW ARE TO BLAME!!! LOOK AT THE PROBLEM OF THOSE WHO HAVE PROBLEMS AND QUIT LOOKING FOR SCAPEGOATS!!!
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Your right about everyone not being so stupid but what we have here –apox 40% of teens doing this. Almost the majority. Scary and real. This is child porn and wrong and all those who possess it should pay the crime of possesion of child pornography. Spare the consequences of unprotected sex—that is not “saving” anything but a lame excuse to why it should be allowed.
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I completely agree; people think teens are so stupid – and some of them, in fact, are – but you have to let them make their own decisions some of the time, or they’ll just go behind your back and do it anyway.
Some people just use their cell phones for emergencies, and some don’t. Adults can’t tell us what not to do with them, because I’ve seen them do some pretty stupid stuff as well.
So, everyone, feel free to express your opinions, but stop trying to insist that teenagers and bad and stupid, because some of them just aren’t.
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I agree completely! (im a teen too, and i agree…im not stupid like some other ppl)
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LOOOOOOOOOOOOOL
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damn guys there not even that strong so calm down
and before any of u idiots try to tell me it is, then i want
u to tel me why im not dead cause im im a teenager with a
cellphone
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Actually… cell phone’s don’t cause brain cancer, but are only linked to them because they use some form of radio waves, not microwaves… if it were microwaves, then you wouldnt survive the first time. You know, with your brain being fried in your skull and all…
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You really need to grow up. The brain cancer/cell phone thing is so 90’s…. catch up with the times…
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ah come on, you still beleive in that mombo jumbo, i have a cell for over 10 years and you seem to be the only on affected so cut the crap that is not what is at stake here but sexting and what can come of this.
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now that is just stupid enough with worries about things like that the problem is not the “microwave” it is what these kids are doing and what the outcome can be..Bigger fish to fry!!
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LFMAO , are you serious ? How does this have anything to do with the subject ? And just a little hint … the article is about texting (or sexting), ‘cough’ … just incase you’ve never seen a cellular phone before, let me tell you how people text, with their hands, not their heads, or mouth , or ears, so Brain Cancer ? I myself highly doubt it. Even when you are talking on the phone, the chances of actually contracting a dissease such as brain cancer , is very minimal. I feel very sorry for your kids (if you have any at all that is), stop making them life your annaly sheltered life, and let them live their own life , let them talk and text with their friends , let them send pictures ( because it really is no different then just getting together and playing a game, like spin the bottle ) , and let them be kids. Just a friendly suggestion from your average supporter of having a life , and not being an anal robot, who’s only functions are working and worrying. Well do yourself, your kids, and the others around you a favor, upgrade your life, and live it to the fullest. We only do get one chance after all!
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GET WITH THE TIMES PAL, EVERYTHING GIVES YOU CANCER THERES ALOT OF THINGS WROSE THE CELL PHONES, ASLONG AS YOUR KID AS A CELL PHONE YOU CAN GET AHOLD OF THEM WEN YOU NEED TO. ITS VERY BENIFITAL.
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that’s a bit of a leap in logic there. that’s like saying drinking wine will cure heart disease since some shady studies have suggested that red wine can reduce colesteral.
the real issue here is that children don’t understand what they’re doing when they send messages like these to people. the problem isn’t the phone it’s their child’s social circle that finds this behaviour appropriate and the child’s parents that haven’t had “the talk” to let their child know the risks involved.
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you are an idiot.
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you have got to be kidding me, are you that uneducated? its not asif its running on a source of uranium ect…
if your cell phone is strapped to your head and on 24/7 it might raise your chance of getting cancer by 2%…..
its emitting frequency lower then microwave levels, and at like 1/100000 the power level.
please people, educate yourself on the power levels, radiation types, and nature of the source. your more at risk of getting cancer from cosmic rays by flying on an airplane, going through the security terminals and by newer higher frequency sources like terahertz scanners they are employing like wildfire in the security business.
this is just like the obsurdity that electric and hybrid cars will give you cancer from their EM emissions.
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LOOLLLLZZZZZZ
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hahahahahahahahaha you must be kidding me! you get brain cancer if you talk on the phone for long hours everyday and the chances of getting it are pretty slim. texting makes the odd even greater because the phone waves are father away from your head.
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that is so out of subject XD
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I held my cell phone to my frozen TV dinner and it warmed it up.
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Yes. It is a well-known fact, but yet we still do it. You are an idiot of incredible proportions.
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I agree with Wendy. Dr. Cummings is out to lunch on this one. He should ask the boy whose under age girlfriend sent him a nude picture of herself and then he was charged with possession of child pornography. Not so harmless now is it.
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I fully agree with Wendy, who, if a Montrealer and in the age bracket of late 30’s or 40’s I may have taught. If so, some of my good logic must have been passed on to her.
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The professor is not immoral just because he gives a view point contradictory to yours. It’s comments like that about how “immoral” sex related activities are in teenagers that gets them NOT TALKING to their parents about sex. Why not spare the judgements and talk to your kids. You have NO IDEA what it is like out there for them…
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while sexting may lead to other things as in sex and stds it it just a stepping stone in the new digital age. just like spinn the bottlle or 1 min in heaven was back in the not so distant past. im not disputing that but saying that this man is immoral and dumb is just ignorant you can not jedicise a person for having an opinion
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I find that as we go farther in to the next generation and advancement in technology, our thinking has gotten more stagnent and unwilling to go forward. I am not saying that this should go on and that teens should not have cell phones, Iam saying that in the end of all that is (sexting) it is without a doubt up to the parents to help steer there teen in the right direction in this matter. No not take there phones away, but help them understand what happens when they send this to there girlfriend or boyfriend that it is there for everyone to see not just them. I am a father of a boy that is coming on to his teen years and yes i find this disterbing, but you can not legislate every thing our children come in contact with because of our fears of the outside world. Be more practical and teach your children of what is out there and who is out there. Not make more laws that in the end sufficate our children and us as well as free thinkers.
In the end we need to educate and not legislate every time someone does a horrible thing to us, as people of a free nation we need better parents and less nit picking of whats going on in the world. go back a hundred and thirty years and the crime wasnt as high, you just had the death penalty by a shot to the head for the sexual predetors.So educate your children and hope they make the right choices.
Marvin
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Wow – I think this one went a little over your head. Pretty much everyone has sex in the course of their lifetime, and I don’t think it’s fair to say this causes low self esteem. Teens that participate in sexting probably will have sex, but the teens that don’t will as well – sex is kind of an inevitability. All the doctor said is that sexting is a way of exploring without physical contact – doesn’t sound very immoral to me. (Oh, and the expression is “that in MIND” – are you smart enough to breathe?)
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Bahaha, someone has seen that vid. of the cell popping popcorn. Either way, it actually doesn’t run on the same frequency. Athough radiation for cell phones cannot be healthy,
the frequency is too low and the wave-lengths are too big to pop the corn, thus cells run on a lower frequency than microwaves. But anyway, that is not the focus of this topic, how bad cells are to use. It is on sexual texts.
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The only STD (now more commonly referred to as an STI or ‘Sexually Transmitted INFECTION’) that your computer can give you is finger Herpes and even then only if you were really really unhygienic. Also in answer to your question of (How dumb can you be and still breathe) why don’t you ask the comatose patients with severe mental disabilities at your local hospital, you know, the ones that are considered VEGETABLES.
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In my opinion, if you start doing these sexual messages, it will eventually lead to the “real” act. The participants might view this as a foreplay, and then wanting to try the real thing ie., physical contacts and thus a chance of STD/teenage pregnancy. So, I believe this professor needs to think about things in the long run and not only commenting on the act itself. Think about the consequences, what this act might lead to in the end. Sexting might seem harmless because you’re just using the technology without any “physical contacts”, however, what it does to the minds is irreversible.
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Everything leads to the ‘real thing’. Getting an STD or becoming pregnant are the concequences that come along with having sex. Although no one actually thinks that when they begin ’sexting’ they would actually end up having sex, but it happens, everyday, everywhere, at anytime. If people are too stupid to realize this, then the world, my dear friend, is going nowhere.
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I agree sexting is just the dinner bell for the real thing, Come and get it is whats being said !!
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Everyone is freaking out over this I think that if you have the ability to text and your parents allow this then you must be old enough to make a rational decision on your own I monitor my Daughter and her cell usage I have raised her the best I can and if she does something like this its on her shoulders It does not lead to anything more that can cause stds or pregnancy what leads to that is personal contact which could come from this but would eventually happen anyway even before cell phones existed teen sex was rampant we didn’t get pictures but it didn’t stop us from having sex you people who are so uneducated or don’t use common sense really bug me smarten up SEX and all the good stuff that goes with it has been around before Texting was even thought of and to avoid that the only way is to educate your son or Daughter to use protection and Birth control Texting is not the cause if anything the good doctor is right that because its not like the days before texting when you went behind the Barn and you show me yours Ill show you mine was more likely to lead to sexual contact at least there is a distance here so it won’t lead to anything and if the 2 meet and decide to take it that step futher than hopefully their Parents taught them about protection
GET A LIFE PEOPLE!!!!
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WEAR A f****** CONDOM!!!!!!!
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One, I will admit that I do this so called “sexting” with my girlfriend. How is it wrong to have fun? If you take the necessary precautions, and stop with the incessant “sex is bad, sex is immoral, sex is sin” mentality and realized that love can exist before marriage and can sometimes exist stronger before marriage, you might just realize that this isn’t such a bad thing.
That being said, if one partner decides to release photos or messages of the other against his or her will, they should be held accountable. Teenagers have morals too, we’re not just horny, easily tempted imbeciles that are a detriment to society. We have every right to be as intimate, close, and happy as adults do, and the mentality that we don’t know anything is just plain wrong.
This article’s reasoning is also flawed. Of the people surveyed, how many of them had their messages or pictures released? How many killed themselves because of it? I would venture to say zero. Citing one example of an extreme case and making it sound like this is what WILL happen not CAN happen in an EXTREME case, tends to make people more paranoid than is necessary.
A viewpoint fron a seventeen year old kid.
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Chris,
Your reasoning is correct in the third paragraph. You state,”Citing one example of an extreme case and making it sound like this is what WILL happen not CAN happen in an EXTREME case, tends to make people more paranoid than is necessary.” This is true.
Your reasoning is unfortunately tempered by your age(not saying you wont get to understand the ideal at one point) and experience. You do not have the advantage of looking at relationships from the ideal relationship [1. two people getting to know each other well. 2. Dating for a period of time (non-sexual), 3. Getting engaged (non-sexual) - letting all concerned family and friends know of your intent to enter into a loving and committed relationship. 4.Marrying the person you want to serve for the rest of your life.(happily sexual)]
If you follow the ideal, you are MUCH more likely to: a) stay married b) enjoy sex to its fullest potential c) Never wonder about STD’s or compare your spouse with your previous encounters, or she compare you with others in her past.
I am sending this to you as a married person who knows the pressures society places on people. I know it can be overcome if you choose happinness over convenience and quickness. It doesn’t hurt if you have the support of family and friends and have a relationship with God.
With those pillars in place it is possible to have the BEST relationship possible. If you don’t want that, I feel like you are letting yourself down. I submit this respectfully and hope you can take something from this.
Al
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Here’s the thing: as a student in a the Catholic school system, for the vast majority of my school life, I have been told by teachers, parents, ‘motivational’ speakers etc that everyone should be a virgin when they enter the honeymoon sweet. and yet, how many of you adults who preach the wonders of abstanence can actually say with honesty that it was a principle that you applied in your youth? sorry, that just kind of really gets to me. *cough* hypocritical *cough*
as for sexting, teenagers are curious by nature. we look at porn. we sneak our mom’s Cosmo’s. we talk about sex almost all the time with our friends, and we want to eventually have it with our partners. Sexting is just another way to express the sexual desire that EVERY teenager feels without actually having sex.
And, sure, maybe in some cases, it leads on to the real thing, but if a teenager is actually serious about sex, then they’re going to have it, whether they sexted first or not. if anything, sexting is prolonging the final moment. it’s a way to do everything that you’ve thought about, without the life-altering consequences.
As for the one-in-a-million sinario of the girl who committed suicide: there are jerks out there who would release that kind of information, but what’s so different about a guy telling all of his buddy’s every dirty little detail, and embelishing a little as he goes along for revenge? if someone has the desire to humiliate and hurt you, then they’re going to do it, because a picture might be worth a thousand words, but rumours can be just as bad, if not worse.
-a rant from an annoyed teenage girl.
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very well put
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Well said!
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Lucille,
Wow,
Thank you.
I think you are the only one that posted ANYTHING about this topic that made any sense.
I am 16, and I ’sext’ all the time.
Although, I will admit, I only verbalize it. No pictures for me, as I do realize what some jerk could do with them if he ever felt the need to humiliate me. But then again, he could also show the messages I’ve sent him. But it’s not like I couldn’t do the exact same thing to him! This article makes it seem like only girls send the pictures, only girls send the dirty texts. And realy, if you look at the statistics, guys do it way more than girls. And I’m telling you, they’re pretty much always more raunchy than what girls send. I am a virgin, so ’sexting’ hasn’t got me to the real thing yet. I’m a smart enough teenage girl to know about STDs and pregnancy, I’m not going to let something a guy TEXTED me want sex more. If anything, a text means next to nothing compared to actually words and touches. I’m not catholic or christian or whatever other religion says you have to wait untill marriage to have sex, and yes, I do plan on having sex before I get married. I don’t personally agree with the whole waiting thing, if you’re ready, and you’re with someone that means a lot to you, you can do whatever you want with them (including ’sext’). Sure, you may not be with them forever and you may not get married the next day, but at least it’ll be with someone you care about AT THAT MOMENT.
So thank you thank you thank you Lucille. You made more sense than anyone here.
Hannah
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you are soo right, rant on Lucille. i agree with most if not allof what you said.
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Hi Lucille,
I am the middle-aged mother of a teenage daughter. I had a very liberal upbringing and never grew up thinking that I had to remain a virgin till marriage. In fact, I think my parents were relieved when I became sexually active. I am a single mother and my daughter is in some ways ashamed of me. She’s the one who wishes I had waited till marriage to have sex. She is 14 and hates hearing about anything sexual as it concerns me. I have brought her up to think for herself and she feels no pressure to do anything sexual, at least for the moment. Sometimes I think she is making up for my so-called promiscuity by being more conservative. In a strange twist, I actually admire her for having stronger morals than I do.
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From your end it may seem hypocritical that “adults” recommend waiting, but did it occur to you that the reason is not hypocritical but simply that most adults have been there done that and looking back wish they had waited?
And yes rumours are hurtful, was the brunt of many myself – high school sucked – but a photograph that NEVER goes away, that you can’t defend cuz it’s all there in full HD colour…… I am sorry but that is way more hurtful, embarrassing, and truthful. Rumours are words that someone with half a brain would take with a grain of salt and eventually peter out, imagine seeing yourself naked plastered as wallpaper on someones computer, used as profile pictures on facebook, a welcome picture on someones cell?
Think about it……………
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wow… that was amaxing… like honestly its like you took the words rite out of my brain… but made it better… are you psycic?
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do you test drive a car before you buy it or do you just read something about off a piece of paper and buy it?
you sound like just another religious zealot pushing your narrow minded views on others.
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Ironically the car you “test drove” breaks down faster than the one you didn’t.
Humans are not machines, we don’t need to be tested like cattle or metal.
We make something called emotional bonds with each other.
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Test driving a car will not give you a disease. What a stupid comparison. Al was being respectful when he wrote his comment and you are just being rude. Unfortunately we are living in a world where almost no one believes in accountability or responsibility and most are just out for their own pleasure, no matter what. As a person who did have premarital sex, I often wish that I could go back and change it all so that I would be a virgin on my wedding day. Pornography is terrible, it affects everyone negatively, I don’t care what anyone says. It is unreal, in that the women are fake, the men are not the norm and it has made our view on a natural, wonderful act between a man and a woman, twisted. To get back on topic, sexting is not a good decision for anyone, adult or teen. like the article indicated, once that image is out there, there is nothing you can do to erase it and it will come back to haunt you. IMHO if it is something that you would be embarassed to show your parents or children, then likely you shouldn’t do it.
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HA HA HA Funny. If you need to test drive your partners or potential partners sexual experience(s) in order to make a decision on a relationship with them I pity the person you have or will end up with. Simply put if you base your relationship on sex and nothing else other than looks I promise you that you will be single for life.
Now you will come back and rant some more and get all pissy about my comment but I will bet everything I have to say you’re still single. Maybe you like the single life and I’m not putting it down but all I am saying is that if you base a relationship on sex then it simply wont last.
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Your comments look very valid,but have any one bought the test driven car,when planing to buy a new car.Yes you do buy new car after seeing piece of paper.
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I 100% agree with you
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Hey there, wolf. First off, I want to apologize on behalf of the “religious zealots” who have hurt you in your life. Truly, I am sorry about that. It is not a religious person’s job to judge others or tell them “Do it this way or else.” It’s nobody’s job. In fact, we’re all called to love one another, and many religious people don’t act out of love because they think things have to be a certain way or else “God’s Wrath” is on you and that “You’re all damned to Hell.”
I am not a religious person. Religion involves doing things a certain way or worshipping a certain way in order to be a part of a religion. And dare I say that most religions don’t apply the concept of grace. I am a person who has been changed by Jesus though, whom I now have a relationship with. And why do I consider Jesus to be non-religious? Because He died on the cross for our sins. He acted out of immense, amazing, unconditional love so that we could live a full life. Had He been a religions person, we’d all be doomed. But we’re not. He died on the cross out of grace and love. That is not religion, it is not even law, because we should have paid the price for the sins we committed. But Jesus took it on Himself because He loves us so much.
The Bible is a guideline as to how we should live our lives, as it is the most fulfilling way. It is not religion, it is like a parent. Does a loving parent discipline, teach, and guide his/her child? Yes. Because they love them. Love them too much to bring upon them things that hurt or harm. That is exactly the way Jesus is, so that’s why the Bible exists, to give us guildelines, to keep us safe (although many situations involving danger are inevitable). It is not religion at all, religion and religious people kill and cause wars. Jesus and people who have been changed by Jesus (and NOT misguided religion, actually religion is truly someone acting out of misguidance, not from Jesus) love, change, and save.
What I am getting at, is that I know a lot of religious people, and I know a lot of people who have a relationship with Jesus. There is the biggest difference in the world between those two types of people, though many mistake Jesus follwers for religious biggots because we’ve all been hurt by people who claim to have Jesus, but slap you across the face or judge you when you make a mistake. Upon reading Al’s statement, what I gathered right away is “Hmm, this is a man who is wise and cares about this seventeen-year-old, and has advice to share with him.” Al acted out of care for this teenager.
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and your reponse is also flawed, but their are flaws in everyones response. You dont need to be an age to know something or experience it,teens these days are experiencing alot more things alot earlier then past generations have.
People getting to know eachother well that can be done quickly its not hard to do. dating for a period of time, any period of time will do. cna be a month or 2 maybe a year, what one couple might have happen in 2 or 3 years another might have happen in 1 or 2.
Getting engaged nowdays u dont need to be engaged to get married? by law a couple living together for a year is married by law.
marrying a person and having sexual acts all your life wont mean u wont get std’s or sti’s they can be transmitted easily many you can get in public places.
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You’re so misinformed, kiddo. You cannot catch STI’s from public places. As a medical professional I can tell you all those ‘gonorrhea from a toilet seat’ myths are completely FALSE. You are correct to say they transmit easily, but that involves sexual acts only. Unless some hooker with gonorrhea in her throat coughs a loogie in your eye. Even then, you’d only have it in your eye…
In regards to the article, Teenagers will have sex and experiment with it with or WITHOUT ’sexting’. C’mon people, don’t be ignorant. We were all young at one point. Only a very small percent of adults can say they remained chaste and abstinent as teens, and they are definitely the minority (sorry to say, Church-goers)
We cannot approach this issue with a blind eye and expect one lecture or some simple facts, or even some phone grounding by a parent is going to stop your kids from experimenting. All I can remember, is that it made you want to rebel more. So let’s just take this for what it is, one ‘expert’s’ opinion (Think… the guy who made the stupid grapefruit diet was considered an ‘expert’ too…) and that is all.
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Hi Al,
I definitely agree with what you said. I myself am 18yrs. old. I now have a four month old son and a boyfriend whom I love to pieces. BUT I guruantee that if I had done things correctly 1. I would’ve had my son when I was ready too. 2. I would’ve known for sure if my boyfriend is the one I will marry and 3. I would’ve had a much more intimate relationship with my boyfriend then what we have! I don’t feel a closeness between us like. I’m sure I would’ve if we had done things correctly… But anyways enough with the blabbing but with sexting one thing will lead to another to another to another. Look at how young teens are having sex now way younger than they ever used too because sex is a fad. Anyways I definitely agree with what you said.
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Teens are having sex at the same age now as they have at any point in history. Its got nothing to do with a cell phone or computer. Its not a fad.
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Sex is a FAD? No, it’s not. In the 60-70’s teens had sex all the time, and at an early age. In the 80-90-now they do too!
I enjoy sexting my boyfriend of 6 years, and I know it will stay between us, because we have mutual respect for one another.
If anything, the sexting isn’t the problem, it’s no trust or respect in a relationship that leads to problems, not just teen relationships, adult ones as well.
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Yes, I agree with that way of thought. But there are so many people that would rather rush it. If more people took such time for eachother there would probably be less divorces in my opinion.
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I think Your reasoning is unfortunately tempered by your age
as well if we stop everything that we do sexually and see.
I think it is time we see sex as the most natural thing 2 people can do. and the human body as a wonderful part of nature dam dont we all have one
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Dear Al,
As an adult whose opinion will not be “tempered by [my] age” I actually agree with Chris.
The fact that you believe a seventeen-year-old incapable of making at least some infromed opinions on a subject makes me shudder. Although his prefrontal cortex will not be fully developed until he is 24 that does not mean his opinions should not count (he is a year away from being able to vote remember).
Chris’ reasoning is, in fact, not flawed. The ‘ideal’ relationship that you are describing is in fact not realistic in this post-modern world and I would not hesitate to say a little medieval and narrow minded.
Sexting in some circumstances I would view as harmless (flirting with the ideas of sexual acts, etc.) but the sending of nude or partially nude photos is a concern. Not only could the person sending them be charged with creating child pornagraphy, the person on the recieving end can be charged with viewing/possessing child porn.
If children and teens are educated of sexual practices, safe sex (or at least safer sex) and of the problems that sex can have (STIs, emotional conscequences, etc.) Then the dangers of sexting would be minimized.
I would assume (and I apologize if it is false) that you are in favour of abstinance based sex-ed. By all means mention it even firmly plant it into the brains of adolescents, but DON’T fail to educate them on safer sexual practices because teens have always and will continue to have premartial sex (or at least some of them will) and that’s okay too. (Besides a believe it was called “sowing your wild oats”) But if they don’t have the proper education around sex they will make bad descisions that will lead to STIs, pregnancy and emotional scarring.
I do agree with the first two steps that you have described however the next two cause me some concern.
Not everyone is willing to become engaged and get married and not everyone can (yet).
I believe that sex is messy, dangerous, emtional and odd but if it wasn’t also fun we would have died out as species long ago. Having teens explore their sexual urges and feelings is not dangerous in fact it is healthy. Telling them they have to suppress it is unnatural and wrong. Sexting can be dangerous as cited in the original article and in my own opinion but there are loads of things that are just as dangerous (if not more so)that our society condones. I enjoy sexting (I don’t send pictures) and I wouldn’t say that it would cause me to have sex before marriage (in fact it won’t) but I like the thrill that comes from using the English language like you own it to flirt.
Ali
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Al;
Bang on! This agreement is coming from a man who had done things incorrectly in my youth with regard to sex, turned my life around, and got married to a gorgeous woman who had saved herself for her husband. I felt terrible that i wasn’t able to give her the same gift, and the ‘test drives’, as another response so incorrectly called previous sexual encounters, harmed my mentality for the future. I have not cheated on my wife, but having had variety, it makes it very difficult to suddenly not have that.
The whole comparison another person writes about test driving a car before you buy it is also ludicrous for a variety of reasons. Would you not marry someone you love because they are not ‘as good’ in bed as a previous partner? Fine – go back to the other partner because you obviously don’t love this one, anyway. Sex does not equal love by any stretch. Al is 100% correct when he says that your marriage has a better chance of lasting and your sex-life will be more fulfilling if you wait.
I don’t expect to change anybody’s opinion on this one, but i work with a lot of people who wished they had hindsight on this topic.
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Actually those people that live together or have sex together before marriage are more likely to stay together and develop a relationship through marriage than those that save both of those for marriage. over 50% of divorce cases are those that waited until marriage to have sex and/or move in together.
and I’m sending this to you as a person who’s read the facts and stats.. not just from my own life experience.
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I’m not sure of your age Al, but coming from someone who is in their twenties and is well familiar with this technology, but can also still very vividly remember her teenage years, I agree with Chris completely. Not to say that there is anything wrong with your opinion, but you have no right to say that there is anything wrong with Chris’. I absolutely hate people pulling the age card and assuming that younger people are completely naive and inknowledgeable. You have no idea what experience Chris has and to me he sounds very wise and knows what he’s talking about. That being said, I also send similar texts to my boyfriend when we’re apart and see nothing wrong with it! As long as you’re smart about it and think before you do things you should be fine.
Also, your old fashioned view of an “ideal relationship” may not be ideal to everyone. Not everyone is that Christian. Just letting you know.
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” [1. two people getting to know each other well. 2. Dating for a period of time (non-sexual), 3. Getting engaged (non-sexual) - letting all concerned family and friends know of your intent to enter into a loving and committed relationship. 4.Marrying the person you want to serve for the rest of your life.(happily sexual)]”
This is not an ideal relationship. This way of thinking comes from the school of thought that views sex as some kind of sacred act. You have to understand that love and sex are two seperate things. Love and sexual desire are seperate emotions. It’s quite possible for two people who do not love each other to enjoy sex. And it’s quite possible for a married couple to be in love and enjoy sex.
Casual sex can be done safely. Being young and having different sexual partners is part of life. Sad to say, but if you wait until you’re married to have sex, you’re missing out on one of life’s greatest experiences.
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you make a great point
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Congratulations for your reply it’s nice to read somebody who thinks things through before they post comments, as for the others breathing comes naturaly i must say.
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Hey Chris, had to respond, not sure why cause I never usually comment to this stuff. Anyway here is a view from a 31 year old who remebers very well when he was 17 – The comment you made regarding the right to be as happy, intimate, close, etc. as adults do, I disagree with now at 31, but probably would agree if I was 17 again. Here’s why – you don’t have the right to look at adults and think that at seventeen you deserve that as well. It takes time to have a great relationship – but thats a good thing Chris – don’t rush…. what for? Enjoy being seventeen! The fact that you have posted a comment says alot – Its obvious that your generation is much more educated on sex and drugs than I was at your age. As for sexting, I think naked photos are a big risk – too easy to get in the wrong hands – just my opinion – never sexted yet and probably won’t start now. I agree with your third paragraph, but have to say again that naked pics are a huge risk! Its an easy argument to make that the girl may not have commited suicide if she had not taken that pic – but in reality, was it the naked pic orthe constant bullying and harrasment that lend to the suicide? I’ll end by saying that you are always right until you are wrong – enjoy being seventeen – don’t worry about us adults and please reread this in 14 years, we may agree then.
Ryan
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i agree with a lot of your comment and you sound like a good guy and all but “you don’t have the right to look at adults and think that at seventeen you deserve that as well.” we dont have the right? THE RIGHT?!?!?!? god another list :S
1) yes we have the right to look at adults and think we deserve to be happy
2) why dont we deserve it? what have we done negativly to say we dont deserve that kind of realationship with some one?
3) plz read jacks comment
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One, it’s not the ““sex is bad, sex is immoral, sex is sin” mentality”. That’s the shortcut lesson misguided people use to prevent early grandchildren. Sex isn’t bad or immoral or a sin; it’s the context surrounding sex. Sex is a great thing.
“Love” seems to exist stronger (or rather longer, if you count in dating years) before marriage, because dating teens or adults exhaust it before marriage.
And people work harder at dating.
Come on, you and I both know that we look, act, smell our best on the first date, but once marriage happens (drawing on the example of countless couples) they get lazy (stop shaving, showering, manners, wtv) “Ok, I got the girl, my guarantee I won’t become the loser bachelor for life” *snore*
Don’t get me wrong, I know teens have morals, and believe teens have the right to be happy and intimate. But as adults do? What does that even mean? Adults have it better in the happiness department? There are different kinds and stages of intimacy. And everyone has a different idea of what happiness should be.
Don’t know if this is a great example, but hopefully you’re intelligent enough to get what I’m at: Facebook; used to be for college kids. Our pride was that it was just for us. Then your mom and younger siblings started signing up. Couldn’t your little bro wait til college so (by then) he’ll stop harrassing your wall, and mom (better yet) join a moms network?
Beer: again, it was cool at dorm parties til you walk in on a 13 year olds’ party.
Did you think,know the same stuff when you were 16? 14? 10? We all think we know, “I’ve got it figured out”. Next day: “Ok, NOW I’ve got it figured out.”
The viewpoint of someone who’s made lots of mistakes, had to pay for it, and wrote an equally long comment.
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I agree with you. I am 28 now, and I have a very good recollection of what it was like to be a teenager at the dawn of the internet. I also remember that we thought we knew everything, more so than any “stupid” adult. When we were teenagers we did a lot of very stupid things, thinking we were invincible. I remember when some poor girls took picture ( on film mind you not digitally) of themselves in compromising positions for their boyfriends how quickly they got around school. Now it is only worse.
But here are some facts to think about, if the trends of living together and having sex before you are married were working why do we have higher divorce rates?
To the people mow married, that lived together before, that, are your marriages plagued with less problems more problem or the same problems than the people who did it traditionally?
For the people who had sex before they were married, now that you have found that special someone don’t you wished you had waited?
Bottom line is this, if all these more liberal ideas were working things would be getting better, NOT WORSE! There are more single parent households, more absent fathers, more abused an exploited children. More people with less family values.
You teens face so much as it is, and no one can lessen you plight or your struggles and anyone who does that is just being stupid. Why then would you want to add more of a burden to yourself by running the risk of getting pregnant and doing a job ( i.e. rising a kid) that adults with all there years of life experience screw up so expertly.
Then there is the internet. Stuff posted on it won’t go away. If you think we are B.S’ing just try googleing the same picture link month after month and see if you still find it, odds are you will. Try googleing a really old game and see if you can’t download, heck try googeling your self and see what comes up. Hopefully it is something you are proud of.And do you know that employers actually do google you when you apply for a job.
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WOW!! you’re obviously NOT a real christian! Sex IS a sin if you have it before marraige AND with multiple partners. I hope you burn in hell for this stupid and idiotic viewpoint. Your life would be SOO much happier if you listened to the church and GOD!! Trust me God WILL punish you if you don’t repent your sins. And i will be right by his side when he passes judgement on you. I really hope people like you end up in hell because honestly there is no space in heaven for people like you. God wants spiritually righteous people to serve him not atheists like you people! for instance God chose the VIRGIN Mary to be the mother of Jesus.See? the VIRGIN Mary. We Virgins are preffered by God and are more favoured because we are not sluts and man whores like the rest of society!. It’s a shame you don’t devote your lives to God. He WILL bring this up on judgement day and you WILL be serverely punished. And when i think about that it makes me smile because it sends me relief knowing people like YOU won’t make it to heaven and instead will be thrown away with the rest of the trash! Go ahead say anything you want i’ll just laugh at you! hahahahahaha!
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listening to the church will get you nowhere because it is run by flawed man. Following the LORD and reading and understanding His word is a good way to live. We are all guilty of sin, in one degree or another but if we have repented and accepted Jesus, we will not be condemned. People like you who proclaim to be Christians but then go and spout this kind of statement, make the rest of us look bad. Love one another is the ultimate commandment, however “judge not lest ye be judged” is also something to think about. We are told to rebuke each other lovingly if we see another in sin, not to condemn someone to hell. That is not for us to determine. We do not know anyone’s heart the way God does and even He does not condemn anyone. It’s a personal choice. If you don’t want to spend eternity with God, he’s not going to force you too. The alternative is not very pleasant but it’s your choice. I hope that I get to share heaven with everyone no matter what their sin, because in heaven there will be no sin, no sorrow, no sickness or pain. We will all be the way we were meant to be, I can’t wait!
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Well said and argued! Nice to see logical, thought-out reasoning from a young person.
As for the main topic, I suppose sexting between very young people would not be recommended for obvious reasons – there are dangers invovled. As for sexting between consenting adults, well – one of the advantages to being an adult is that we get to make (and live by) our own decisions. If it IS foreplay, say between a husband and wife, I say go for it – whatever floats your boat – as the saying goes.
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This comment totally and completely made me laugh! such a good point! I couldn`t have said it better myself =)
Viewpoint from a 19 year old
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To the writer Chris, you need to make a distinction between LOVE and lust. what you are talking about is lust. In the Greek there are three words that describe love… Eros, Filios, and Agape….
Eros… the word erotic comes from it… it is used when things affect you and your passions… for example, when we use the phrase, “I love Lasagna.” You ate lasagna and for some reason you enjoy it.
Filios is a brotherly love…
Agape is an unconditional, self sacrificial love… a love of total self to the other. Agape is the highest form of love.
It is true that love exists before marriage, but you would hope that it grows stronger in marriage and not vice versa.
When we look at sex… it is not a sin or evil in the context of marriage…
and this is why. Sex is an outward and physical expression of your love for the other… but it is suppose to express Agape because you are telling the other person “I give you everything, my fertility, my commitment… everything.” Alredy if sex is outside marriage, you withheld commitment because the reality is that every other relationship is not binding and can be desolved. But if you look at marriage as being a covenant not just between the couple but also God then is not so easily dissolved. One person may not live up to the covenant but it is not dissolvable.
And if you are using any form of contraception, whether it is an actual condom, pill or even pulling out early then you are holding back your fertility.
The love that you have described is not agape if it is not in marriage…. outside of marriage it is eros.. and the one you say you love is really only an object and not a person. You enjoy the feelings and not the person… true test to see if love is agape… abstain from sex before marriage and see if the other is still there. And when I say abstain I don’t just mean for a week or two or months I mean until marriage.
Basically it boils down to desiring what the person does for you or loving that person for who that person is. If your partner said she is waiting for marriage would you still be her boyfriend?
if not…guess what you don’t love her.
Jon Doe
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Bro take it from me. Its all cool to send nude pics of you around, but when you get into a serious job later in your life, your image is very very important. You don’t want a potential employer to hear that ur nuts are floating around in cyber-space.
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I completely agree with you.
Yes there has been some extreme cases where things go too far with imgaes being leaked where a party didn’t consent to or any number of things. And contrary to popular belief teenagers do have a conscience and are very much aware that every action has an equal reaction. If they choose to put those images out there of themselves while being with a significant other, that is their own concious decision, should they penalized for it? no. Where they should be penalized is if and when there actions are performed to cause harm to either one of the individuals who have participated in the “sexting” such as leaking the images. But it happens. Nothing anymore is just between two individuals, emails can be forwarded to other parties, text messages, IM conversations, letters, etc. its a matter of personal choice. if you do practice “sexting” then you should be aware of the dangers of what may possibly happen and then make your decision to cop out on some fun
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Chris, I agree with you. Cell phones are making “sexting” easier to do, but in all reality these things have been happening forever. I believe that it is safe to say that suicides and rebelious behavior by teenagers can be a result of simple high school. Parents you have to be aware of the issues your teenagers are facing and be open with them. I will say this also, teenagers have some decency and protect your heart, stick to your values and never lose sight of the big picture. And also learn from your mistakes…
An opinion from an understanding 18 year old
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That was a very balanced and reasonable comment from you. The fact is that we attach to others, from infancy forward, and it is that attachment that provides us with comfort and confidence as we move through the world. Attachemts are the elixir of life upon which we exist and are most lasting. Physical intimacy is an expression of that attachment and is as natural as can be. Much of it is beautiful but, as with anything, there will be a few who abuse it for whatever reason at a given time. It takes a high degree of trust to get naked with another but trust waxes and wanes just as surely as love does become like and back to love again. This whole debate is much ado about nothing. Looking back, a little nudity or raunchiness in a person’s life will hardly ruin them forever. What is important is that we see our need for intimacy with others as basic, human and without shame.
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Chris
That was a very mature responce and you sound like a responsible your man you are absolutely right except that sex only became imoral and a sin after your parents and other adults grew up because they did the same type of things and more when they were your age but they won’t tell you that it really bothers me the holier than thou attitude out there lets be honest education for our youth will keep them disease and pregnacy free
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Chris,
I am 32 now, When i was a teenager my parents told me what was right and what was wrong.. they also let me make mistakes… with me knowing that whatever happens they will support me. In today’s society i believe eveyone has their own opinion and right to it. I have a 7 mnth old now and i plan on bringing her up with the same principles as I was brought up with. Teenagers are not stupid. Yes, they make some pretty good mistakes, but adults do to. My advise to everyone is if you don’t want anyone( else) seeing it… don’t send it. Best rule ever…. Better safe then Sorry.
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Thank you for your comment, it is VERY refeshing to read and I completely agree with you. It is probably hard for some parents to believe that a seventeen year old boy has a brain in his head but yes, they do.
Have fun sexting.
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fun watchin’ the fur fly. How morals and ethics disappear into the techno-black hole of microwave specs and cancer paranoias. Beautiful.
Well here goes with my two cents’ worth:
“Sexting” has gotta be right up there with the Californiotic points of view that brought us Valley speak and lots of other wonderful modern phenomena. Kids have been kids have been kids for some time now, and not a whole lot changes by and by – while everything runs away with the endless possibilities that new toys bring.
And these particular toys create amazing new scenarios long before deep-thinking intelligent humans can truly figure out all the angles……..why should we be so surpised, get so bent outa shape, or our shorts in a knot and knickers in a twist?
Seventeen year-olds are completely capable of abstract thought and intelligent analysis – leading to remarkably refreshing points of view. This has been happening for some time now – I remember.
What has changed, if anything – is the complexity of invention, and the possibilities it creates.
Bad, you say? Immoral? Unethical?
Hell.
Last time anyone with two brain cells to rub together woke up and smelled the coffee, they should have discovered that the societal mirror available to be held up by the youngers to reflect true reality back on the elder and supposedly “betters”………..revealed a sumptuous smorgasbord of titilating travesties too delicious to pass up.
In short – who points fingers at whom, and for what purpose exactly?
Seventeen year-olds (and younger) don’t exactly spend all their time immersed in rampant hormonal activities (as mentioned above by the age in question)……..but too often get ignored, crucified or at least shouted down when in the process of trying to point out something worth hearing.
Time for some interesting dialogue, for a change.
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Chris,
In an ideal world teens would use all precautionary measures when having sex, and everyone would be held accountable for any actions that may cause grief for someone . . . but this is anything but a perfect world. When I was in high school, my boyfriend of three years and I broke up. He had always been a bully and took great pleasue in humiliating people . Now I was his target. He took every opportunity to bully and belittle me. My self esteem was zero. It turns out that I had no coping skills, so the way I dealt with that torment still affects my today. My point is, if we had had access to this kind of technology in the 70s, I can guarantee I would have sent my boyfriend sexts and suggestive pics. After we broke up, along with the bullying, I’m positive he would have shared the sexts & pics with everyone. I was so devastated by what he DID do that I know I would very likely been suicidal had he shared. An EXTREME case as well.
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The 17 year old confuses love and lust.
jake
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Hmmmm….Back when I was a kid (25 years ago)we used to pass dirty notes and explicit diagrams. I fail to see the difference beyond a new medium to communicate the same stuff teenagers have been doing since the cave. Yes – the CAVE…It’s only in recent centuries that society has decided mid teens isnt the recommended mating age.
Teens will naturally explore themselves and this world they are living in – we can’t stop it. So perhaps we need to focus more on communication, education, and teaching kids to understand consequences and make informed choices – less focus on censoring and bubble wrapping them to the point that they can’t grow up to make adult decisions….Like we eventually did..
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Thank you Tree, This is about the first sensible comment posted in reply to this story. Kids will be kids, this is simply a new way for them to do silly things they might regret, but then thats what growing up is all about… unfortunate, but it’s a reality. Education and communication is the only way we can guide our youth, outright condemnation of the act with an “end of discussion!!!” type approach will simply frustrate the delicate teen to parent relationship and in many cases slowly destroy trust and respect.
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you guys aren’t getting the point. This isn’t simply like drawing dirty pictures or passing notes back and forth…. this is presenting oneself in possible pornographic images. And when its a teenager who is getting comfortable with posing in such manners it becomes a true problem. Also, the person you start dating is never the same person if it ends….who knows what they could do with those pics! Innocent my ass.
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I am in no way saying that it is alright for a teen to send naked pictures of themself to a partner; but there is another postive side to this. It takes an incredible amount of self esteem, confidence and a positive body image to be able to do something like that. Now thinking back to my teens years, i can’t think of many people who had the confidence to do that then and even now i doubt that i know many people who could sent that to there husband or partner.
I know that most people are going to disagree with me; but the pressure in this day and age to be stick thin and have the right clothes, hair, friends etc is alot stronger given how much more prevalent the media has been in life. Who would have thought that you could watch tv on your cell phone in the 1980 or 90s, but you can now. I am in a small way glad that there are some teens have a postive body image and self confidence; that will help them to succeed in life.
I realize such behavior can have very serious consquences and most teens don’t think that far ahead. I think that this is more a matter of new more accessible techology, than a new behavior. We had film camera and paper notes; they have digital cameras, the internet and text messaging.
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back in the British Empire days people thought it was okay for a 30 year old man to marry (and have sex with) a 14 year old girl. That’s just how it was, but now views have changed and so has technology so while we may not be making the pedophiles of the world rejoice we now have other ways to send and receive messages. Also I’m pretty sure that if when JC was a kid they had affordable computers that could send and receive messages and images they would be IM’ing porn across the room just as readily. It doesn’t matter that it’s a drawing or a photo, that doesn’t change the subject matter that’s in it.
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well adults go on dating sites so what’s the dif?????and once they get hormones they kind of lose their brains for several years LOL just give them birth control and maybe that helps but the biological clock is what rules.
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Actually the effects of hormones on the behaviour of teenagers is much more pronounced in our culture, or I should say the effect of the age. Many other cultures around the world see a much milder teenage experience to none at all, it’s built into a culture, and if you tell someone something about themselves long enough, eventually it’s just true. The only reason I bring that up is because I feel it is unfair to really condemn these few years like so many of us do, what they’re doing is not fun to talk about, but it IS normal, they just have to know the dangers and they can most likely figure out the rest for themselves.
.02
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I would like to say, though I may have only a sixteen year old mind, most of you adults have it all wrong. Greg, what you say IS true, but it is also that right now, these teenage years are when we would all be raising families. We are sexually ready to be bearing children and keeping the descendants coming because we would need to have been thousands (hundreds) of years ago. The human brain hasn’t changed much since then, so we literally feel the need to have sex and have children. Since teenaged sex is so condenmed by society, some teenagers feel sexting (honestly, myself being one of them) and the like is the only way to express this need without committing the damnable act.
(I honestly did not pull this out of my ass, I read psychology books in my spare time.)
And we are not stupid, but we do make mistakes and sometimes we really do prefer to find them out for ourselves.
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I couldn’t have said it better myself Tree, I totally agree with you.
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You must be a “Nut Tree”, 25 years ago we didn’t have the Internet. And we certainly didn’t swap High definition digital photos of each other naked, masterbating, and in compromising sexual positions. Like they do now! Give your head a shake. Things have changed dramatically. Kids are getting seriously hurt with these photos popping up all over the internet, on their peers phones, printed out in 8X11.5 full glossy photos to be pinned up on walls at school for al to see….and that is only the half of it…MOst of the time it starts with boys pressuring girls into sending them photos form webcams, phones and digital camersas of themselves in various states of undress and doing sexual things. From there it gets onto the internet and other various digital mediums for all the world to see. Harmless indeed.
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Hi, this is my opinion. i believe sexting isn’t the best thing out there, and probably not the safest. but you can’t condemn the people who do it. i myself have received some of those text messages from a friend of mine. yes sexting can lead to actually having sex. but you still can’t condemn the person. do you know why they are doing it? can you honestly say you know what’s going on in there head right now? no you can’t. they have different morals then you do. they might have grown up in a home where they didn’t feel loved and they are trying to find love. all we can do is support them, not what they are doing, but the person. and i agree we need to start educating teens before they reach that age. but don’t say its evil, just tell them its not safe before marriage, and have someone who made those mistakes and realized it come and talk to them. teens usually don’t like to listen to something if the person saying it doesn’t have a first hand experience.
this has come from a sixteen year old girl.
oh and you also can’t condemn the technology. what did it do?
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wow, i guess this hit close to home for you. i think its the parents who do not educate their chikdren that are to blame. i am 27, i have had a cell phone for about 9 years, i have recieved many such messages, none of which i pressured anyone into sending, but the big difference is the morals and dicipline my parents distilled on me. yes, i will agree that teenagers these days may not understand the issues at hand here, but that is only because they have not been educated enough by their parents.
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Yes, I also agree that is an excellent point. Trying so hard to stop it is what created “sexting”. But because of this invention there is then blackmail available. Teens will still make lots of mistakes but for those that do not understand dire concequences yet they may make this mistake that possibly leads to the blackmail issue. The point is that teens still need to learn about the concequences so we don’t need to have this “sexting” making regret fall upon them.
~Jamie~
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TREE
All I Can Do is Applaud that was exactly what i said Education different times different media Kids are naturally curious and in our day truth or dare ,spin the bottle doctor we did it all its just we didn’t have cell phones to tranfer the data then like now but we got to touch and explore becuase it had to be done in person back then but didn’t know the consequences then of our actions so I say Now it is much better for parents to educate the kids as to what precausions need to be taken to ensure safety harp all you want to your kids about sex being immoral sinfull ect but they will be curious enough and may cross that line I would prefer they were ready and understand whats happening then “SURPRISE”!!!
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THANK YOU very much for your comment, it is VERY refreshing and just the way I see it. Children need to be educated on the consequences because like it or not, there are going to explore. As long as they are educated and safe everything should be fine. It’s up to the parents but if they are not comfortable find someone who is.
THANK YOU AGAIN.
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It’s hard to take a doctor seriously when his last name is “Cumming”.
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Lolz. You do make a good point there.
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I agree with Tree. Our children will do what ever they wish. All we should and can do is give them sound advice. We can’t hold thier hands all the time and giving them orders just causes rebellion. Advise, advise and guide them!
My wife and I raise three children and they all experimented, with mixed results, but all turned out fine in the end.
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Exactly.
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Im someone whos sent and received explicit text messages/e-mails. Its an enjoyable form of flirting, and yes as a male it does get me thinking of where it could possibly lead. However, you’re quick to learn that just because a specific person flirts with you electronically, it doesn’t necessarily mean they are good for it in reality.
The internet/wireless world give a person the ability to say what they want, without any real repercussion. You weigh a lot less on those text messages (or you should) than if the person said it in real life. Take it too seriously, and you may just get shot down. Its fun, thats why they do it.
Out of all the people i’ve sent/received sexual related messsages to/from? 2% of them actually led anywhere.
That being said, its a different ballgame with sending explicit pictures. Once you release that into the public, you can’t control it anymore, and there is nothing stopping it from appearing all over the internet. If you want to take that risk, go right ahead. But you SHOULD be prepared to log in to facebook one day and realize someone uploaded them and tagged you for all your family, coworkers, friends and neighbours to see.
Not a pleasant outcome. Best idea is to keep your pictures to yourself. Even if you share it with that loving boyfriend/girlfriend….realize that one day he or she may not be so loving anymore.
Play safe, kids.
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That is a great point. If you are going to send photos like that, you MUST be ready for the possibility of them appearing on the internet.
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Here, here AB on the last comment there about “loving boyfriends/girlfriends”. Though you should be able to trust your partner, the reality is that people change, relationships change, but those nudie pics never do!
Look how many “sex tapes” are on the internet these days. Plus with all the new networking tools (Facebook, myspace, etc) it’s easier than ever to share everything with everyone.
Again, if you wouldn’t share it with you mama or your boss, you probably shouldn’t be sending it.
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I have a 16 yr old and 11 yr old daughters and both my wife and I have talked to them about things like this (among a multitude of other things). Our relationship with them is very open and they are very open with us. Both Tree and PC have the right idea – communication and Education. By simply saying “NO” will not stop any teenager from doing things like this. Think back to when we were their age – when you were told “NO” without any explanation or reasoning – did you actually follow it – sometimes we did and sometimes we didn’t. Sometimes I am sure that we did things just simply out of spite “I’ll show them….” or “….yea, sure what ever…”. If you LISTEN and talk to your kids, it is amazing what they can tell you – it gives wonderful insight in to how they think. We as “grown ups” forget how we thought at that age. It is also amazing how they judge what is acceptable, what is not, what will hurt them in the future and what won’t. We as parents and the concerned public need to direct when needed, coach as often as we can and Mentor a lot more then we do. If we can help kids understand the pitfalls of this type of activity (not censor it), they can make decisions based on facts and know what the potential outcomes will be. BELIVE ME, they are very insightful – sometimes a lot more insightful then we where. If we know they are making the wrong decision (which they undoubtedly will a few times in their lives) we help them to understand why this may not be the right choice. If they still decide to do things, we hope they pick themselves up, dust themselves off and go “well, that was dumb now wasn’t it – guess I won’t do that again” Isn’t that how we did it?
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That is very accurate. Sometimes telling just “No” will even encourage them to do it for rebellion.
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This guy Chris is a real hoot to read, lol. Dude, dont comment like this after your herb fix. How do you survey someone who has already killed him/herself? LoL You’re right tho, the number would be zero.
And as for the sex is sin, immoral, etc and other bs in your rant, of course there are going to be some who feel that way, but were you raised by nuns or Quakers or something? The vast vast majority of people dont feel anywhere near that, especially adults. And the divorce rate and separation rate among co-habitants shows that love surely does exist stronger in some form before marriage, but dude, that is THE problem. That and are the teens of today smart enough to realize this, and smart enough to know what “love” really is. Love can to many take the form of many things – lust, experimentation, peer-pressure, physical attraction, and I dont think many teens are even close to being able to cope and understand it all. IMHO, sexting is foolish unless you understand (and maybe hope?) that the entire world may see it. I think some people will get off with the fame/notoriety. I dont sext-message, but I dont have sex as a PDA or tape myself with my girlfriend. Leave it private – end of story.
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I agree with many of the points presented in Chris’ comment, specifically the end of the third paragraph.
And in reponse to your comment, Snidely, I think you are being vainly presumptuious. Also…. pointing out the sole error in his comment outlines your thickness.
From the viewpoint of a sixteen year old kid.
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I totally agree. Sex should be private. End of story!
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But if sex was always private we wouldn’t have porn. A multibillion dollar industry, which leads me to believe that a great number of people enjoy porn, will pay for porn and actually stimulate the economy by providing people with jobs. Not an industry I would choose to work in myself, but that’s my choice, others enjoy public exhibition and the paycheque that can come with it, and who am I to judge them for that. Teenagers will have sex regardless of whether or not they sext first. I was a teenager before cell phones had texting options and as I recall I had a copious amount of sex in high school, and I didn’t even own a cell phone. Teens experimenting with sex isn’t new, it’s not worse now than before, you’re incredibly naive if you think that kids now are fooling around more than say in 1967 for example. Summer of love? You don’t think teenaged hippies had sex? Did they have text messaging…no. In the 70s and 80s when it was a huge thing for teenaged girls to line up and nail rock stars in their tour buses after a concert, was that the result of text messaging? Prior to the 20th century it wasn’t abnormal for 12 year old girls to get married and have kids. King Louis used to send 14 year old girls to Canada during colonization to keep the lumberjacks and fur traders happy (les fille du roi they were called) I don’t believe they were sexting in the 15 and 1600s, though I could be wrong.
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You are soo right! You do feel more in love before marrage. If that love dies away it causes problems. People should take a little longer to know their partner and actually think; “Is this the one person I want to spend the rest of my life with?”
~Jamie (I am NOT a girl!)~
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lol she an hero’d
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lmfao
/b/rotha 4 life
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No one should have sex. Ever. Or look at dirty pictures. Or even think of the opposite sex. Everyone should devote their lives solely to Christ for he will save us. Not sexting.
haha jk.
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Sexting hmmm. Can’t stop it now but the whole sex topic needs some compassion. First we have to realize how special sex is and not exploit it….or that specialness is lost. People need to respect their bodies and their friend’s or partner’s bodies by having come discretion and prudence. That does not make one a prude. Just use some discretion. Ask yourself if you want to be sending pornography? Do you really think it’s classy? Personally I think it’s debasing and explotative of oneself. I think it’s cheap. It’s been proven that the pornography and the continual viewing of it can lead to a pretty ugly addiction for which there’s help out there. In my humble opinion I’m so sorry it’s become a household word – a fad. Choose your actions wisely. Think before you send messages and photos. Isn’t it just a little more empowering to be able to make the decision to say yes or no and not be pressured? To remain strong with a good sense of yourself sexually and a good sense of your self esteem intact? While sex is clearly on nearly everybody’s mind – what about a little suspense and intrigue. How about waiting till the big event to see each other’s beautiful bodies. Respect yourself and others sexually – it gets really good that way – and can be very loving. Without respect you can end up feeling pretty abandoned and vacant and left with a hurt that sometimes just won’t go away too easily.
Think about it.
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Im positive I will get snickered at but I care not- Luke yo may of said you were kidding but Christ does want to save us.
As a Christian.. I have not taught my kids 17, 16 , 13 and 11 that sex is bad at all. Quite the contrary.. its a beautiful act of love – between two marriage partners who are loyal and secure. Gee – in that context – there is no std’s , no unwanted pregnancies (and no need for adoption or abortion) Lust does not equal love and truly – true and real mature love doesnt even really include sex as a big portion. It has very little to do with the ups and downs in life that couples go through.
I have raised my children to have enough common sense that they would not send naked pictures of themselves to people, to respect themselves. Its pornography and wow – were my sons shocked when they learned that there are alot of men who are so addicted to pornography that they are unable to have normal sex with real women – how sad .. or have destroyed their marriages due to their addiction. the thing with all that is it starts out a little and relatively normal and then eventually it leads darker and sicker…. studies prove it and also i knwo from personal experience. Been there done that – both my husband and I and so when we communicate with our kids they know WHY we are telling them to stay away form certain things – we explain the destruction it caused in our own lives – whether sex or drugs – or whatever.
The sad part is our society is so Free that kids arent even allowed to stay innocent – my 11 year old has had to grow up fast when she should of never had to even know what certain things were.
its funny that people like to say all people who love God or have morals are basically square…or prudes.Quite the opposite – I would think it is much more freeing – have no guilt or shame or regret or worry.. and have the sense of self worth we shoudl have and be true to ourselves instead of following blindly along after every whim and lust of the flesh –
People are sex objects of lust and that is the big problem and alot of men feel that way about women.. i did a little experiment on Facebook – one account with a pic of a women in a decent picture and another of a women in a bra and underwear – both had hundreds of friends for mafia wars. Guess who got the lewd comments from men when she hadnt done anything in advance to these men… its a no brainer and it just goes to show that is how a women will be treated if she puts herself out there. i woudl rather be respected and so would my daughters.
Just my 2 cents
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Hahahahahahahaha a christian teaching their children tht sex isn’t evil give me a break. And right after you say between “married” people.
Not only is marriage an out of date institution meant to thrust to remotely social compatable people together it usually ends badly.
Also if you don`t teach them to make their own choices and enforces your religious phyco babble on them then of course their going to be prayed on. Because you never taught them anything!
And lastly god has never had any use for man. he`s an idea. And the more people hide behind him and thrust their responsibilites down upon him altar of forgiveness the move this world goes to hell. Honestly lady, grow a backbone and figure somethings out for yourself. You only got one life and i sincerly hope you don`t waste it waiting for prayers that are never going to be answered
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I am sorry that you feel that way about marriage Johnny. That is really sad. I at eighteen have witnessed a marriage that has gone wonderfully. My parents have been married for 21 years now and they entered their union both virgians. This isn’t something weird or gross, but really very cool. We live is such a sex saturated culture that we equate sex with breathing we honestly think that to live we need to become sexually active as soon as it takes our fancy. But at eighteen years old I have never had sex, not only am I okay with that I am proud of it. And trust me I am still living.
I have been raised in a christian home like J’s kids and i have not been prayed apoun, because unlike your very misinformed asumtion I was very well educated about sex. And not by a bunch of horny teenagers that would not give a second thought about hurting me, but by my parents that love me very much and have a much better idea what they are talking about.
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Wow! You are troubled (as is your spelling and grammar, but that’s another issue). As another reader suggested, become more learned on a topic before you rant on it. A wise person once said, “It is better to remain quiet on appear ignorant, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.” You could learn from that one, Johnny!
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Johnny, you obviously didn’t read the previous post very carefully. One, it was a DAD that wrote it. Who are you to say that he hasn’t taught his children anything? What? are you so much more enlightened because you don’t believe in God? I am sorry but you are in so much more bondage than any of us who have a true relationship with God. What do you have to live for? Nothing! You have nothing to hold your life up to except for your own pleasure. In fact the problem with you is that you think you are a free thinker and you are far from it! You believe in the drivel taught in school that there is no God. Have you ever actaully sat down and done your own search for the truth? It doesn’t sound like it to me. This world is going to hell because people are falling away from God. Me, and others like me, following his ultimate commandment, “love one another” (as much as I humanly can) is what is helping this world to not go completely to hell. WE don’t cast our responsibilities onto his alter, we cast our worries and fears and ask for forgiveness when we sin. Try talking about something you know about.
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It’s unfortunate that you have obviously had such a bad experience with religion. But you said yourself to teach them to make their own CHOICES and that really is what religion is all about, CHOICES, knowing the consequences and making a CHOICE. We all have free will and are capable of making informed choices.
J has CHOSEN to educate her children and allow them to make their own CHOICES and use their free will. She has CHOSEN to educate them on one of the oldest stories of all time and use the teachings of that story to help her children make responsible and moral CHOICES.
You have CHOSEN to focus on her religion and not the main point of her post which is to educate your children, be honest with your children, give them the whole picture and teach them the tools so they can make their own CHOICES.
As a parent that’s really all you can do you give them the info and then sit back and watch them make their CHOICES and love them no matter which they CHOOSE. Which coincidentally is what god is purported to do as well, he gave us the info, now we are on our own to make our CHOICES – for good or ill….
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Johnny,
God loves you and so do we.
Here’s my question: Do you know the difference between a Christian and a Catholic?
Thanks!
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You said it best. Thank you for that. Kids tell me that times have changed. They sure have: teenage pregnancies on the rise and STD found in 9, 10 and 11 year old CHILDREN!! Ya so why should we sit back and let it happen. Media is changing our children’s perspective on sexuality. It is important that parents are aware of what’s going on in the media to educate our kids to prevent the statistics from above to continue to worsen.
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submission freeing…….. hmmm pretty sure being submissive (whether to “god” or to anything else) is the same as being a slave thus the opposite of freeing.
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you can be ‘pretty sure’ of your ideas about being submissive, but i would like to suggest that you are wrong – it is not the same as being a slave…not even close!
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In response to you, J, you say that pornography etc will lead to “darker and sicker” behaviour. You said that both you and your husband know this from personal experience. Hmm. Does that mean you had the freedom to make your own choices? I think so. Do you think you would have come to the place you are now if you hadn’t had that freedom? You can tell you children what not to do until you are blue in the face. Giving them the freedom that you had, will allow them to become responsible adults. Be curious with them, and share with them some of your experiences, but offer advice only when asked. Then your teens might be willing to talk with you about these issues.
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J, I’m sorry to say, just because you’re married dosn’t mean that there is no such thing as an “unwanted pregnacy” I use birthcontrol and make my husband wear a condom because I don’t want children right now. I’m sure there are a lot of married women out there who would still have an abortion if it interupted their goals or careers. Personally I wouldn’t, but I know there are people who would.
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This like anything and everything else should be talked about by parent and child. Children aren’t stuped and I think if you let your children know that they don’t have to do what everyone else is doing. Teaching children self-respect as well is something parents should be doing.
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I hear ya! That is perfect!
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i never thought you were a girl ! xD
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Lawlz…. this is a joke. there will always be some stupid person doing something dumb and hopefully they learn; if they don’t then its called natural selection… the problem is in older parents that don’t understand that your child will always have to make a decision. so raise them to be aware of what there doing and the consiquences of there actions. Make you child accountable for what there doing. the fact that some teenage girl comits suicide over harrasement and then blames sexting as the reason. give me a break where are her parents and friends or what you will call a safety net. this is just another thing in life that ppl want to control and really why should you control what you really can’t …… it’s called education and accountability…. remember when you touched a stove and it burnt you ? same as this. Sending naked pictures of your self should be a good thing not something that you condone. if as a society we were more open then this thing would never be an issue. its an issue for religious and conservative nuts..
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you are absolutely correct.
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Religious nuts? Unless you really know what religious people are teaching their children and if they are open about sex at home…. I think where religious people are concerned you should get some facts straight. Believe it or not alot of religious people are open with their kids about more then what you are willing to give them credit for.
So get overyourself
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Exactly.
If the parent raised the child wrong, I never blame the child.
That being said, at a certain point they will be forced to take responsibility for their own actions.
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Peter CUMMING – ROFL lol what does he know about. Is that seriously his name.
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hahaha that is a funny name and its funnier because of the sexual subject
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1st of all – I find it funny that the doctor’s last name is “Cumming”…
2nd of all – I’m a boy between the ages of 13-17 and I personally don’t think it’s a bad thing… Yes, there are risks to it, but those are pretty obvious in the first place don’t you think? I know that my friend has had naked pictures sent to him and I have seen them but I really don’t think it’s that big of a deal!
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smarten up.
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To stephen : That there is an example of pictures passed around and so forth. Guys share to guys,did the person in the pic even know it happened? maybe they’d think its a bigger deal than you.
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I FEEL ITS TOTALLY WRONG AS A ADULD AND PARENT OF 3 KIDS I SUGGEST THAT WE PARRENTS LOOK AFTER CLOSELY TO OUR KIDS WHATS THEY ARE DOING. NOT EVEN A SINGLE RELIGION ALLOWED ANY ONE TO DO THIS OR PERMIT TO DO 1% or 99% to do this no matter which class we are belong educated or illetrate, its our moral obligations to watch and to try to stop all this type of activities. We are in civilized society and i hope in the soul of our heart we hate this type of activities and try to stop our kids to do or to involve in such type of activities. I accept lot of our parents don’t know when and where our kids involved in such type of activities but its our responsibility to educate our kids black and white of life and teach them all the bad results which we get after such activities. Those who are in favour of all such type of activities do one thing give 10 second to them and think for their childrens and they get good reason and correct understanding for their and their kid life.
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I assume by “this” you mean sexting.
You realize that you can’t just stop them from doing it by saying “no sexting”. They have to make that choice for themselves. You can’t tell them what’s right or wrong, and expect them to adhere to it. You tell them the consequences of their actions so they don’t have to find out for themselves, then they make the decision.
“not even a single religion”…?
You clearly don’t know much about world religions. The Abrahamic religions are pretty much the only ones that don’t allow sexuality in teenagers to some extent. In the middle ages, you could get married at 14. Hell, you could even GO TO WAR at age 14. You were considered an adult.
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Your crazy
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why does it matter if a religon says no? i bet u 1000000 imagenary munnies that the majority of kids who do this are atheist…. im aethist too
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What is going on this sexting stuff is all wrong. No one is going to do anything with Porn being on the internet. But they will do somthing or even talk about sexting on how wrong and unhealthy it is for any ages and also for those who are married. So I take it that looking at porn is ok and healthy on the internet and it wont harm the person or even relayshonship. It is hurtting family members,hurtting those who view it. But they wont look deep in side of them selves. Why because they are hocked and they can’t stop viewing.
Parents don’t say on my teen wont look at that stuff we have parent block on my computer. Or they wont have sex with someone when you are not at home or what ever. They will. Don’t be in denial.It do’s not have to be at your house they can get it in stores video’s,go to a friends house who does not have parent block ect…
Both sexting and internetnet porn needs to be stopped. No matter what age,this will still aways be a big problem in our world. People really don’t see it. But they would stop having naked photo’s of children on the internet having people view them. Now even that is wrong big time.
What I don’t get it is that adult porn is ok. But not sexting.
Those who want’s help stop looking at porn or even sexting they can stop. it is hard but they can.
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Ok seriously, the 2% of the population that abstains from sex until marriage is an enigma in our current society. Adolescents, have been and always will be attracted to individuals of the opposite or same sex or both. That being said, of course the issue over private images circulating is of concern, not just to teens though, but to everyone. I don’t know anyone in their 20’s, 30’s, 40’s, 50’s, or even 60’s who wants to have nude photos of them circulating with anyone except the intended target.
How do we assume that because kids say sexual things, they some how become sex crazed animals? Seriously, kids will be kids, and the likelihood of sexual behavior is really characterized more by other factors, such as environmental surroundings, parental behavior, friends, self confidence, self efficacy etc, the point is that if these individuals are participating in this type of behavior they probably would anyway regardless of the medium they do it through. They may have phone sex, sexting, or even go out and have sex in person, therefore, this has nothing to do with sexting or technology this really has to do with not educating children to accept sexuality for what it is, and helping them realize they don’t need to go and try to have it with anyone or thing that comes up.
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props to you! someone with a brain. people, young and old alike, will do what they want wether society likes it or not..
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xactly
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OH WOW! another person going to hell when they die! lol as a virgin myself i have to say shame on you for not following the laws of God!. Clearly the Devil has taken over your soul. I hope God gives you a fitting punishment for your sins! Religious people are not nuts OR crazy we are passionate about our love of Christ! and obviously satanic,simpletons like you will attack good decent God loving people like us. But guess what? there are a VAST amount of christians in this world and trust me we WILL Win this battle and Christians WILL come out victorious! and trust me most people that DO wait until marraige are NOT always nuns or Quakers. I am a well respected Catholic and i’ll be damned if i’m gonna let anyone insult my religious community like that! May you burn in hell for that is where people like you belong!!!!
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To: “Thelordismyshepard”
I didn’t know your God wanted you to take satisfaction and joy in telling other people to burn in Hell. Clearly, the enjoyment of believing that people not of your religion will suffer is the main idea of Christianity, because that seems to be what your comment is showing. Afterall, that’s what God really wants, right? For people to “have their souls taken by the Devil” and be laughed at by you and your Christians. Obviously there’s no other avenue or alternative other than to damn them for all eternity. That’s definitely what God wants.
I applaud you.
Really, well done.
I don’t want to go wherever you end up after you die.
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*high fives*
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i hate over zealous christians cuz ur so hypocritical. you are freaking out at a guy for “insulting” your religion (i dont see were but w.e) and then you tell him hes going to be damnd and stuff. do you realize your commiting the deadly sin of pride? also the sin of wrath. and btw christians are actually a minoirty in the world (more ppl belive in aliens then in god) so i doubt you will “win the battle” plus what happend to “turn the other cheek”? and mayb hes an atheist and dosnt think that the laws of god will affect him in the after life. and your username pretty much says that you are a sheep. no one likes sheep. people eat sheep. also for the most part ppl who wait till marrige are nuns or quakers. jsyk
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Just thought I would put my two cents. I am 25 have sent my now ex-boyfriend pics of me and he told me that he deleted them soon after. I would be beside myself if they did get out, they were meant for him while we were dating. I only sent them to him because he had to leave for 7 weeks and it was a way to keep up the sexual part of the relationship. It was frustating to be away, but that made it easier.
However, I recieved a picture of a girl who I didn’t know because she was sending the message to another person. I thought it was a friend sending me a joke, so we starting talking. She didn’t care that she didn’t know who I was, confessed that she didn’t even know the guy she meant to send the picture to and was had more pictures on a website. I would morals long gone at this point.
And everyone is stating Pregnacies. I’m sorry, but have you heard of how many girls out there at 13, 14, 15, 16, who just want a baby. THEY DON”T CARE. Becoming pregnant is no longer a concern, and sometimes, it’s jus to fit in and be like the rest of your classmates. I highly doubt some of them really care what happens in the years to come with the baby and how it will grow up.
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