If Abbott and Costello were alive today…
Even if you’re not old enough to remember Abbott and Costello, you’re probably aware of their timeless “Who’s on First?” baseball sketch. But imagine what that same skit would be like in the 21st century?

Legendary comedy duo Abbott and Costello
Thanks to my mom Honey (yes, that’s her name!) for sending me this amusing email forward — based on the classic Who’s on First? skit. If Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were alive today…it might sound something like this…
COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT
ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
COSTELLO: Thanks I’m setting up an office in my den and I’m thinking about buying a computer.
ABBOTT: Mac?
COSTELLO: No, the name’s Lou.
ABBOTT: Your computer?
COSTELLO: I don’t own a computer. I want to buy one.
ABBOTT: Mac?
COSTELLO: I told you, my name’s Lou.
ABBOTT: What about Windows?
COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?
ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?
COSTELLO: I don’t know.. What will I see when I look at the windows?
ABBOTT: Wallpaper.
COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.
ABBOTT: Software for Windows?
COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals, track expenses and run my business. What do you have?
ABBOTT: Office.
COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?
ABBOTT: I just did.
COSTELLO: You just did what?
ABBOTT: Recommend something.
COSTELLO: You recommended something?
ABBOTT: Yes.
COSTELLO: For my office?
ABBOTT: Yes.
COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?
ABBOTT: Office.
COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!
ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows.
COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK, let’s just say I’m sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?
ABBOTT: Word.
COSTELLO: What word?
ABBOTT: Word in Office.
COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.
ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.
COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?
ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue ‘W’.
COSTELLO: I’m going to click your blue ‘w’ if you don’t start with some straight answers. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money with?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: That’s right. What do you have?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?
ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer.
COSTELLO: What’s bundled with my computer?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?
ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.
COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?
ABBOTT: One copy.
COSTELLO: Isn’t it illegal to copy money?
ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.
COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?
ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT!
(A few days later)
ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off?
ABBOTT: Click on ‘START’………….



Well done!!!
Brilliant! Forget Abbott and Costello, I know a few people in today’s world who could play this role quite easily! :-p
I suppose you owe your mother a day’s worth, your wages …………or at least a meal on you.
Beautifully done!!! :) Can I have permission to use this in my classroom ?( will definately give credit to the source )
all the best,
paul
Send a request to twayneking@gmail.com and I’ll send you a printable PDF with the correct byline and copyright.
brilliant! absolutely! both would be proud! send it around the world!
very funny … the possibilities are endless. as an aside, i would suggest that paul t learn how to spell ‘definitely’ before he steps foot in one more classroom.
Paul: My mistake was a typographical error. Perhaps similar to you version of “I”.
I remember them very well.I could see their faces as I read this page. I laughed so hard, thanks its great.
Strangely enough, I can hear their voices doing the commentary — including the inflections on the syllables.
Great work.
The original version of this was written by me in 2004. It got loose and went viral and lost my byline. It’s okay if you use it here, but please include this notice: “(c) 2004, 2009 by Tom King. Used by permission
Thanks. If you do a search you’ll find my byline on about half of the ones out there. Thanks for adding the byline. If anyone would like a copy of the final edit of the script, to use with a school group or drama group or something, please drop me a note on gmail (twayneking@gmail.com) and I’ll send you a printable PDF file with the proper credit notice.
Thanks,
Tom King – Tyler, TX