Keyboard “for blondes”, now with sound effects
You may not want to admit it, but inside all of us lurks a ‘blonde’. It’s the part that just can’t seem to wrap itself around the more mundane and technical parts of our lives. If you’re brave enough to get in touch with your inner-blonde, have we got the gadget for you.
You may not want to admit it, but inside all of us lurks a 'blonde'. It's the part that just can't seem to wrap itself around the more mundane and technical parts of our lives. If you're brave enough to get in touch with your inner-blonde, have we got the gadget for you.
The Keyboard for Blondes was actually released late last year, and has been picking up a cult-like following ever since. It's a fairly standard 103-key keyboard that works with all major OSs like Windows, Mac and Linux, but it takes keyboarding to whole new (and some would argue) lower level.
Take a closer look at the vibrant pink input device and you'll find that many of the utility keys the majority of us have come to know as "Shift", "Ctrl" or "Alt" have been playfully re-labeled "Smart Blonde Button" (an oxymoron? ;-), "Somewhat Useless Key" and "Useless Key".
The levity continues with special texting shortcuts built into some of the keys. These, according to the Keyboard for Blondes websiteare part of the "secret code guide to blonde communication" and feature such essential statements as "ALI: Absolutely Love It", "ROI: Relaxing On an Island" and the classic "IDK: I Don't Know"… I can already picture the shoulder-pad-required head tilting that would accompany this one.
Apparently in response to overwhelming enthusiastic response from owners, the keyboard's creators have today announced the availability of special software, known as "keynguru" that provides users with audio feedback as they type. Typists can expect to be bombarded with the following quotes:
• “Oops!”, “Oh-Ohhh…”
• “Yes!”, “Yes, I want it!”, “Aha!”
• “Warning!”
• “Help!!!”
• “No!”, “No way!”, “I said: ‘No’!”
• “You are so smart!”
• “Do you really think so? I don’t!”
• “Helloooo?!!!!”
• “Totally useless”
• “You are deleted!”
• “That’s awesome!”
• “I like it”
• “Perfect”
• “There you go!”
• “Negative!”
• “That’s good!”
• “Duhhh?!!!”
Can't wait to get in on all that blonde action? Head over to the company website and be prepared to cough up $49.95 USD.
Great post, Simon. We all enjoyed reading it. :)
absolutely no one is going to buy this thing.
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This is an idiotic item, probably invented by a judgmental man who grew up in the era of stereotypical blondes-that were bottle blondes at that, or a jealous brunette woman.
The fact that the writer of this piece suggests inner blonde means not grasping the practical or mundane is a stupid thing to say in and of itself. Everyone knows plenty of people who are intellectually challenged to the point you wonder how the hell they successfully get through a day-and I'm willing to bet the smallest percentage of them are blondes.
I've known plenty of blondes who wouldn't fit into this stereotype (a lot more than would fit into it). This article and the whole idea of a "keyboard for blondes" is crap if you ask me. If anything, it might have been more appropriately named "Keyboard for Dummies".
Part 1
Dear Mr. Cohen
Unlike the comment posted on June 4th by “Blonde,” not a great read your article on that “Keyboard for Blondes.”
It was through your trashy piece of “journalism” that I just came to learn about that keyboard for "blondes." I'm a natural blonde and I take great offence to the inventor's arrogant prejudice as well as his blatant discrimination, including your own flippant remarks.
I bet the inventor doesn't have the courage to market the "Black" keyboard does he? After all there were some scientists with narrow minds (like his) who not so long ago subscribed to the despicable notion that black people had small brains that were insufficient to sustain intellectual thought.
Part 2
His invention isn’t funny and the whole "dumb blonde" attitude is no longer a joke. Hollywood and the media are driving a negative stereotype (which you are helping to perpetuate) that has now hard-wired itself into the collective mindset. The prejudice against natural blondes is so deeply rooted that us natural blondes are actually and irrefutably being discriminated against.
You don't think so? Then why do people still raise the ghost of that sick little Nazi freak Adolf Hitler and tell me I'd make a perfect Aryan simply because I have natural blonde hair and blues eye? (That one stings even more when it comes from Jews, and it has.)
The dumbness does not come from the root. It's found in a bottle. So if you want to make a dumb blonde, give a brunette a dye job!!!
Part 1
Dear Mr. Cohen
Unlike the comment posted on June 4th by “Blonde,” not a great read your article on that “Keyboard for Blondes.”
It was through your trashy piece of “journalism” that I just came to learn about that keyboard for "blondes." I'm a natural blonde and I take great offence to the inventor's arrogant prejudice as well as his blatant discrimination, including your own flippant remarks.
I bet the inventor doesn't have the courage to market the "Black" keyboard does he? After all there were some scientists with narrow minds (like his) who not so long ago subscribed to the despicable notion that black people had small brains that were insufficient to sustain intellectual thought.
Part 3
Remember the "Gay Bob" doll and how that played out for the creator of that pathetic toy? Tell the inventor he just might have a date in court.
In the meantime, I would appreciate you taking a morally correct stance and ask your readers to start boycotting all outlets (online or retail) that carry his inventions, especially that keyboard.
After all it’s the right thing to do and you should be smart enough to realize it.
You're Jewish Mr. Cohen and you know very well that without people like me speaking out against such hate groups like the Klu Klux Klan and narrow-minded individuals like that idiot inventor racism, prejudice and discrimination on all levels would run rampant and unfettered. (Call up the CBC and ask them to show you the on-camera interview of me speaking out against the Klan and the Neo-Nazis who came looking for recruits during the 1990 Oka Crisis in the town of Chateauguay, Quebec).
You know where I stand. Where do you?
Last Note: Anyone who responds to my comment with flippant remarks of their own only prove how small minded they are, and that they are the ones who truly lack the capacity for intellectual thought. Discrimination is discrimination and I won't accept being discriminated against because people hate natural blondes.
@ Robert D. Ireland
Thank you for saying everything that I wanted to say, except far more eloquently than I could have said it. This keyboard "for blondes" is a good example of absolute ignorance and social ineptitude.
Although I'm not blonde, I can sympathize somewhat with the stereotyping. I'm a redhead, so I get the "ginger" stereotype instead.
This is a stupid idea but some of you blondes on her seem to imply that you are better because you are blondes – jealous brunette? Please, also Ireland you seem to be taking this way too seriously, this keyboard will not be a hit (despite what the article seems to imply), also, nice tolerance you have there "if you disagree with me you are small minded" I do not disagree with you but jeez, get over yourself. This sounds like a bad joke – I am a female redhead with big curly hair and well proportioned measurements – people think I am an idiot because of the way I look (it is not only confined to blondes) – large breasts, small waist and skirts also give people (mostly men) the idea that you are slutty or stupid or assume I am "Raggedy Ann on PMS"- which I am none. Do I get offended? No I just think about how stupid they are and get on with my day. Blondes jokes are funny (matter of opinion) but stupid and very few people take the whole "blondes are stupid" stereotype seriously – comparing Blondes with Jews from days of the Nazis is just crazy and shows YOUR stupidity- how many concentration camps did you blondes have to go to? How many of you lost blonde family members because they were blondes? Get over yourself! You are comparing stupid childish jokes to real life horrors. This is just a bad joke that no one takes seriously (unless you write comments on this board) We all go through discrimination – it is just a matter of time before a company makes a keyboard made of steel or iron for us temper driven redheads – you sure as hell won't see my crying over this. Life is too short, so for all you blondes, reds, brunettes, baldies, grays, blackies and all in between, LIGHTEN UP!
Enough with the Blonde jokes please
OMG, this is absolutely ridiculous! I am a Graphic Designer, and I use the Ctrl, Alt keys all the time! They're not useless. Only certain people may think they are due to lack of use. Only certain programs and functions use those keys.
Also, the whole "Dumb Blonde" thing… get over it! The only dumb blondes are the red heads and brunettes who bleach their hair.
Through each of your comments, I haven noticed a lot of little trickles of 'discrimination' or lack of tolerance to others in this world. Yes, I too have heard many blond jokes, irish jokes,polish jokes, etc etc etc. I believe
"Red Hair" got it right. life is short, we have to look at ourselves with humor, and take the serious horrors in life seriously and change them.
People will always be fighting stereotypes: short tall, high forehead, no hair, blonde hair, brunette, asian, white, black, religious or not, rich or poor etc. This conversation can continue into infinity with each person brining the way they have been persecuted, or have seen others be.
Back to the original point – the story and keyboard – somewhat amusing. Not a great name. Would I buy one to use – no. Would I buy one for any of my friends/family as a necessity – no, or as a joke – no.
People come up with ideas like this all the time. A lot of time is now being spent on criticizing what is surely to be the next joke picture emailed around the worold.
Ever heard of creating a "buzz" for a new product or technology? In my opinion, the Keyboard for Blondes, should be viewed as a staged (stepped) product launch. "Love it or hate it", is the bait for the real product that will assist all of us who have a pink slip for not using the hot keys. The current product offers a hint with the F-keys saying "useless keys". In the meantime, this product is hitting all of your hot buttons. Clearly, I am not going to be hooked into a heated debate on the current product. Rather, I await the arrival of the intelligent keyboard that will help me be on time at the "office". No more pink slips for me.
What a waste of space.
Wow…lighten up people. This is a joke and you know what, I just might buy it for a good friend of mine. Is she dumb, nope but she does have a good sense of humor which by all measure is something that's missing on this board. Nice post Simon glad I ran by it.
I think this keyboard thing is kind of funny but the dumb blonde part…..i find that pretty mean!Its like what the heck?!I'd laugh my ass off if this guy was a blonde!!!!!!"Red Hair" and "does it matter what color my hair is" have a point!!!!But im only ten so i cant really explain the steryotypes thing but i think you get the point.