Is it rude to check your BlackBerry in public?
Had an enjoyable lunch today at a Dell event in downtown Toronto and found myself seated at a table with a few analysts and journalists (including Sync contributor and all-around nice guy, Peter Wolchak). OK, so I glanced at my BlackBerry a few times as I was expecting an important email. Was that rude?
Had an enjoyable lunch today at a Dell event in downtown Toronto and found myself seated at a table with a few analysts and journalists (including Sync contributor and all-around nice guy, Peter Wolchak). OK, so I glanced at my BlackBerry a few times as I was expecting an important email. Was that rude?
So I’ve read all these articles about how our social graces are going in the dumpster because our faces are stuck in our smartphones when in public. Etiquette has been kicked to the curb in today’s day and age, and all that.
Honestly, I don’t think I’m one of *those* guys who can’t carry on an eye-to-eye conversation with someone, but it’s true when you work for yourself and you have access to your digital world in the palm of your hand, it’s freaking tempting to look down to see what’s going on. After all, if it weren’t for this technology I wouldn’t be able to attend this lunch n’ learn event because I’d be tethered to my PC at home, no?
So, what’ the proper protocol? Never look at your BlackBerry when you’e in public? Or is it perfectly acceptable today to carry on a conversation while you’re thumbing through your inbox? Personally, I split the difference: I politely notified the table of 6 or so that I was expecting an email from an editor and had to check my messages every few minutes, and I did not continue talking to anyone while looking down at my phone. Did I handle this correctly?
What do you do?
Tough! I feel in certain settings that its so rude! Such as, during an intimate breakfast, lunch, dinner, etc. However, in the case that its at an event similar to your lunch event. I feel that a polite warning with an apology, without carrying a conversation while checkin the Berry, is acceptable. I am so very annoyed by people checking their phones while i'm talking to them, or engaging in some way. In this case, I feel you did the right thing. I would have done the same.
What is so important in everyone's life that they need to check something every minute? It's a sad sad world when people seem to think that an email or text message can't wait 2,10,30 minutes or more without life as they know it stopping. TURN IT OFF for meetings, meals, etc. Everyone else can wait. As a Manager of Information Systems, I have a cell phone for emergencies, and staff that I trust to handle everything in between. I have a hard enough time remembering to turn the volume up on my phone after taking the kids to a movie, and I will only carry a 'Blackberry' or similar gizmo when they offer a feature to VIBRATE/go silent for a SET period (mute for 1 hr say). My beef is I want to 'mute' it for a 1 hour meeting for example, but not have to constantly 'remember' to turn it back up afterwards. (needs something like a 'snooze' feature on the audibles to allow people a chance to 'live' away from technology beeps for a while!)
Anyone from RIM here reading??
Can't go 2 minutes with playing with your 'device'? Get a life then I say. Family should come first, along with the company you're 'PHYSICALLY' around! Anything else is ignorant I say.
Now what kind of question is that??? It's like asking.."Does Dolly Parton sleep on her back"? Blackberry's,Cell Phones, Ipods, etc. should be shoved up the keister's of ANYBODY that opens one, listens to one or texts on one while at work UNLESS either your house is burning down or your dad is being rushed to the ER with chest pains,what scourage thou has wrought on society!!!!!
I don't open my laptop at the dinner table, in washrooms, while driving, at restaurants, on subway platforms etc…No one and I mean NO ONE is that important that they need to check their berry every 2 seconds and avoid face to face conversations and those that do live in a world that tells me I don't want them in mine!
I do feel that it is rude to be checking your Blackberry, cell phone etc. while in public…I'm tired of people interupting with calls, should you as a customer have a sales associate answer or check their phones whilst dealing with them you would not be happy, well it goes both ways, turn your devices off for awhile, take time to interact in person, we always take everything to the extreme…..be thankful for the technology, but use it with common sense, something else we seem to be running short on.
I can't agree with swaying to the power of any device while conversing or meeting with others. I watch my daughter on the computer/MSN with her cell phone handy for texting and phoning as well as our land line in case another call comes in. And we still need to leave messages? I ask my own daughter to pack it up and concentrate on one thing, why can't we do the same?
It's unfortunate that the convenience of "on demand" services has created such a burden. Simply put, if someone is demanding it then someone else has to deliver. Instant gratification comes with a price.
I'm newly self employed and I've quickly discovered that being your own boss is a 24/7 job. I've forced myself to focus on the task at hand and ignore the current crisis for the moment. Not only does it make me more productive and less stressed, but I also find that most times the crisis averts itself.
Put down the Blackberry and enjoy your lunch.
WEll, I do not do this, as I find it rude when it is done in my company, though I must say, the standard of acceptability was set when you are seeking service in a retail store, for example, and the person is attending to you, and then their business phone rings, and it gets answered before the person finishes serving me. No, they do not typically say, can you hold? They deal with it there and then. Some have put the caller on hold, but rarely. There you go!
Think of it in the context of manners in General. If you glance when the conversation does not focus on you AND it does not disrupt others there is no problem. If you rate your physical company as less important than your blackberry/phone/pager it will be seen as such. If you have to check & you are the center of the conversation excuse yourself to the washroom/Bar & check there. It is all about making those around you feel like they are the most important people in the world to you at that moment.
My former boss had a Blackberry with her; she's deaf, so the Blackberry was essential. Anytime an e-mail came her way, she'd glance at it, and put the Blackberry away, responding later.
I guess it depends on the situation. It's OK to check it if an e-mail does come in (and it rings or vibrates), but it is not OK to keep checking every minute or so.
I think it is rude if someone is ignoring a dinner partner (or group in this case) and texting, etc…but because you use this device for work, and you informed everyone as to why you needed to be checking your email, i think that is perfectly acceptable. A doctor uses a pager for important calls ie: baby deliveries, emergency operations, etc. and we don't think anything of the interruption-so I think if people know that you are working, and not just socializing via your Blackberry, while in their company-I don't think anyone is going to be offended! :)
Dear Marc, yes I do think it is rude to keep looking at your blackberry during a lunch engagement.I cannot imagine that you would even entertain the idea of looking every few minutes to see if your "important" message from your editor had come through. I think my age group of 60 plus puts me in the quite old fashioned group, and therefore my take on this is going to be a lot different from the younger people.
All this merely serves to do,is make people feel more important than their lunch companions. There is absolutely no reason not to wait until lunch is over. We are talking only one to two hours here. Please , give me a break and lets put manners back on the table ; not Blackberry`s .Clare.
I feel that it is indeed rude to ignore the folks you are with in favour of your 'crackberry' but having joined the ranks of those that use/need them it has become increasingly difficult to follow the proper etiquette. I generally let those around me lead the way – if they are constantly on the device then I simply follow their lead – I would prefer to do something useful with my time than to be surrounded by folks all more interested in their phone/email. The truly most annoying breach of etiquette is when these same folks take calls and don't excuse themselves or if you're in a business or personal meeting with someone and they ignore you to take a call – that to me is the ultimate in RUDE. The call is more important than the meeting you arranged? Living in Singapore this is such a frequent occurrence it is amazing – you'll attend a meeting with someone who called the meeting – booked the meeting likely on their BB and then during that very same meeting they're 'excusing' themself to take a call – that to me is the ultimate in rude. Also I keep my BB on silent mode/vibrate for all purposes – there is nothing more annoying than sitting in a meeting or at dinner or anywhere else for that matter – and this happened in movie theatres – and have someone's annoying tone or even worse favourite song start blaring.
Well I guess this is a situational thing. If you are in a meeting/special occation then you should be able to leave the call or e-mail until you are done. If you are out with friends for say a quick let's get together lunch, then I think checking a call or e-mail when your device alerts you to quickly assess weather it is urgent or not is acceptable. Put your device on vibrate mode people. I have had my phone on vibrate for 5 years now and never on ring (the one time it somehow ended up on ring, I missed the call because I didn't realize it was mine). If you are with friends, why should they get upset if you check when alerted. They did choose to be with you at the time. They could have declined or cancelled the get together to be available for the call/e-mail if they knew it was coming. Besides, I have never heard anyone say that it was rude to answer their phone at home when it rings. Just use common sense and again put it on vibrate so no one knows it has gone off, especially in public.
What ever happened to enjoying lunch with friends, and not having their faces glued to their phones texting or checking their e-mail/messages through out lunch. I think it sends the message that your company in not really interesting and I must carry my little device around with me to be entertained. I think it is one of the worse social effects on society. A group of people can go out for lunch and actually spend more time talking/texting with other people, then with their actual group they are with…I just hate it, the e-mails/messages/texting can wait an hour…what ever happened to stress free moments with friends….
Thanks for the great feedback, guys.
I agree it depends on the situation — and your company. I wouldn't pull out my smartphoine while out with my wife at a fancy restaurant but when with a group of people at an event — and high-tech journalists and analysts who were also doing the same thing — I think it'as more accepted. I love working for myself, truly, but one of the downsides is that you're always "on call" and sometimes have a hard time segregating personal and professional life.
Marc
I dont like this at all. I was on vacation with my family and my wifes sisters family at Disney this past summer. Every 2 or 3 minutes she would stop to check her stupid blackberry and then spend the time in between checkings telling us what was going on back at her home or job or whatever. She is an accountant so it is not like it was really important work stuff, it was just social. She may as well not have come on the trip at all because she never left work.
I believe that it is very rude to be on your blackberry while at an event. If I am expecting an important email, then I will excuse myself from the table and go to the restroom and check my email, but other than that, if you're just checking your emails for no reason, then you've got issues… I think we need to learn to have some down time, where we have fun and are not obsessed with our work 24/7. We need to have time for our families and friends. I don't know, is it just me?
Was that message from your editor of such importance that you had to check for it every few minutes? Couldn't it wait, say, 30 minutes? And if it was of such importance that you needed to check every few minutes, then does that mean you needed to respond to it right away? In which case, why were you out having lunch when something of such importance would require your immediate attention? Or if it was so urgent, then why didn't the editor contact you by phone (assuming you have a cell phone) instead? That is certainly the better way to handle urgent requests.
If you didn't need to respond right away though, then why bother checking every few minutes?
So without knowing anything about your situation specifically, it sounds like you're just making excuses as to why you were checking your email. It sounds almost like you have an addiction, and you're feeling a bit defensive about checking your email due to some comments from your table mates. Mind you, I could be completely wrong about the urgency of the email and you did need to check every few minutes.
Whether you were rude or not, I don't know. That's between you and the type of company that you are in. You may want to look at a 12-step program though…. ;-) (half-joke).
I think most people have gotten out of control with blackberrys and other pda's. We have to get back to reality and shut down these devices when having lunchons or out for dinner. I think it is highly rude deciding to pay more attention to your Blackberry than the people you are with and also very annoying.
Times that I ave been in resturants and people answer there phone and such, I find this very disturbing to my enjoyment of having a nice meal.
Proper etiquette is gone just left with total rudeness.
Warren